- Date posted
- 1y
“What if I have no identity?”
Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared
Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared
Jesus Christ loves you Dalia. He’s waiting for you to call upon Him. In the Bible it says in Psalm 139:13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well”. Go to Christ for he knew you before your were in the womb. He loves you.
I’ve had a very similar obsession before about the exact nature of my identity. It’s an area ocd likes to focus on because there’s a lot of uncertainty, there isn’t any way to “measure” how much of you is unique or yourself as opposed to influence from other people. That allows OCD to mess with those uncertainties and make you worry about the worst case scenario. Exposures can help you get more comfortable with the fears, often for things like this a written exposure will be used. For me it just took time and gradually getting more comfortable with the idea that I can’t know the exact nature of my identity, but it was very hard and stressful in the meantime. Keep going and you things will eventually get better.
I have an identity-related OCD problem and I also have autism. I’ve been frightened and frustrated all this week because of the concept of masking, and the idea that my OCD theme is true because of masking, meaning that something will happen to me that will ruin my life if I unmask. It’s been causing me severe distress, and I’m frightened that therapy will not help me heal. I’m scared of losing my family and close friends
Idk how to caption it other than that. My whole life I’ve had an issue with memory hoarding and the upside has been that I have a really vivid memories of my childhood and I get to remember my best days, the main downside has always been I have a lot of childhood trauma too and I remember every detail meticulously like I can relive and reanalyze them which has caused issues in my healing. However as much pain as it is to remember bad things so well it’s always been a bit of a comfort bc at least I know for sure even if other people don’t know or don’t believe. But as of lately I I’ve been forgetting things, whether it’s what time I’m supposed to work (and I have compulsions when checking my work schedule bc I’m always scared of reading it wrong so I usually open it up read it close it and open it up again 2-3 times so I usually KNOW) or what day it is, or just small things that I don’t remember saying or doing that other people swear on. I just have always felt like I know at the very least I know and lately I don’t and I’m so scared of going crazy and losing myself like literally my biggest fear. So I hate this. Today is Friday I was convinced yesterday was Friday and I woke up today for my Saturday shift completely convinced today was Saturday. I hate being wrong and making those small mistakes because it’s terrifying to think about what else I’m remembering wrong, or what else do I not “know” that isn’t actually the truth? I’m just so scared of losing myself mind. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?
does anyone else have this? when I had panic attacks in the past I’d fear death, but now I’m more afraid of losing myself and being taken over by some psychotic version of me. It makes every panic attack that much more debilitating , because I’m fearing losing my brain, my future, everything…and never going back to normal.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond