- Date posted
- 1y
“What if I have no identity?”
Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared
Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared
Jesus Christ loves you Dalia. He’s waiting for you to call upon Him. In the Bible it says in Psalm 139:13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well”. Go to Christ for he knew you before your were in the womb. He loves you.
I’ve had a very similar obsession before about the exact nature of my identity. It’s an area ocd likes to focus on because there’s a lot of uncertainty, there isn’t any way to “measure” how much of you is unique or yourself as opposed to influence from other people. That allows OCD to mess with those uncertainties and make you worry about the worst case scenario. Exposures can help you get more comfortable with the fears, often for things like this a written exposure will be used. For me it just took time and gradually getting more comfortable with the idea that I can’t know the exact nature of my identity, but it was very hard and stressful in the meantime. Keep going and you things will eventually get better.
This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??
I’ve been worried that I will go to hell and have lost a lot of my interests, personality and even music I like . I don’t know who I am anymore
It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond