- Date posted
- 1y
Why Does It Feel Like Denial?
This theme always feels like I am in denial and that I am somehow using OCD as an excuse. Especially, when I get intrusive thoughts and I don't feel any anxiety.
This theme always feels like I am in denial and that I am somehow using OCD as an excuse. Especially, when I get intrusive thoughts and I don't feel any anxiety.
I am currently going through this as well I was just telling myself " what if all this is me and I'm using ocd as a crutch " " what if everything I'm thinking I did is true" my therapist says that ocd is sneaky like what you said
@Anonymous Yea I’ve been told by my OCD therapist the same thing & It’s frustrating how I can’t just stick with what a professional tells me
I had something similar with gender identity ocd. It felt SO real, like my entire journey growing up was somehow false and that I was secretly a woman and in denial. Compulsions galore, anxiety. I felt like I was in denial too but eventually it went away. Lean into what is
Yeah that's how I feel, and my memories are like never ending prove, if I manage to prove one wrong, a different one will show up, but there's one I never manage to prove wrong, so that one must be the real one
I understand but it’s OCD
@Anonymous hey anonymous, thanks for your reply. OCD is very sneaky. I hate it
I get it somedays you might not feel anxiety sometimes you do in going through that right now your not alone
I would love to have some insight in this in general I deal with thoughts but for me it is the feelings that make ocd this difficult The feeling of disgust for my partner, the feeling of wanting the content of the thoughts , the feeling that this is the real me , the feeling that i am lying to myself and my partner, the loss of attraction,... Because when i write it like that ,that that these are feelings, it seems very much that i am just in drnial and i am bi but i cant love men anymore, or that i am not attracted to my bf and so on
My OCD has found new objects that I should be scared or worried about and I have this urge to hide them or throw them away. When I’m trying to watch tv I get really anxious that I’m trying to focus my attention elsewhere other than being in my own head, trying to sort my thoughts out & when I say I don’t want something I feel like I’m in denial. Does anyone else feel like this
I’m struggling badly. I did something about a month ago which I now realize was probably testing, but what scares me is I feel like I liked it, which is horrifying. What’s even worse though, is after I did it, I was able to brush it off quickly and not be too bothered by it, as I was still very anxious on other thoughts I was experiencing. Now those thoughts are meaningless and THIS is what’s causing tremendous anxiety, but the fact that I didn’t feel anxiety about it after I did it seals the deal for me. I mean, did feel anxious and guilty after I did it, but I was able to dismiss it somewhat quickly, and I remember that memory came up a couple of times within the month after I did it but like I said, it hasn’t too hard to dismiss it. I really feel like it’s denial. The fact that I wasn’t that anxious about it and tried to justify it/dismiss it HAS to mean it’s been denial all this time, there just no way this is OCD :( Right now I’m anxious about the fact that I might’ve liked it AND the fact that I wasn’t anxious about it for a while. It is really just a torment to ruminate on, and I would never do that thing again, but the fact that I did it and felt like I liked it is beyond terrifying. I feel like I have proof now, I’m trying to figure out why I did it and what it meant, and why I wasn’t super anxious the following weeks after, I mean it WAS uncomfortable to think back on, but I feel like the fact I wasn’t super anxious about it means I was in denial or repressing my true self. I am so so scared. I’ve been worried about this for the past week and a half :( (This is all centered on the same theme btw.)
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