- Date posted
- 27w ago
ROCD confessional
how are people dealing with confessional ocd in relationships? hope everyone’s okay and slaying as much as they can ♥️
how are people dealing with confessional ocd in relationships? hope everyone’s okay and slaying as much as they can ♥️
I struggle with this a lot, I go through phases of feeling the overwhelming urge to confess every dark thought or action I’ve ever done to make sure he’ll still love me and chose to stay with me. My ocd convinces me I’m lying to him if he doesn’t know every tiny aspect of my brain, isn’t OCD a joy! 🙄😵💫 I’m sorry I don’t have much advice on dealing with it except remember no one knows everything about each other, you are entitled to your own mental space (if that makes sense)!
@Sophie2115 thankyou! it does make sense it’s just hard to accept it aaaa!!
I also struggle with this, it sucks. I’ve been trying to allow the thoughts to flow without acting on them and it’s hard, but I am choosing to trust my own ability to fix my own problems and deal with my own traumas. Think of it this way, by not confessing, you are making yourself stronger while also not imposing your compulsions on your partner. I am recently in a new relationship and it’s been so hard, but I’ve made it a point to try to only tell her I have OCD and that I am working on it myself, and that’s it. I haven’t always succeeded, but I am learning that as long as I trust myself, I can do this on my own.
I didn’t realise I had ROCD for a long time. I would spend days ruminating about our relationship. I always knew I had POCD or eating OCD etc (thoughts I knew were not true) however when it comes to a relationship it’s hard to know even more? This led to me breaking up and having feelings for him still and being SO confused. Now I know it’s all part of the same disorder. OCD!!!
omg this literally sounds like i wrote this post 😭 im the queen of confession ocd unfortunately. here’s the things keeping me sane: 1. when i feel the urge to confess, i write it out thoroughly on my notes app. sometimes breaking it down makes you realize you don’t have to share it 2. the second i feel a confession thought coming in, or i feel my brain SEARCHING for something to confess, i play word games!! word searches, word puzzles, wordle, spot the difference, etc. it tricks your brain into forgetting to search what you were worrying about. this has really been my saving grace 3. at this point something that helps me is the embarrassment. sometimes after i confess something SO weird like (i watched a show and i was kind of aroused by one of the actors) the way my boyfriend looks and me and responds makes me regret confessing so bad. i’m like wait why on earth would i say that 4. just try your best to wait it out. honestly, i’m still searching for the answer just like you. there’s so many times i want to confess and i literally don’t know if it’s something i need to confess or not. but after time you kinda learn. i’m sorry you’re going through this. we got this i hope you’re slaying too
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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