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Relationship check-in
How has OCD treatment affected your relationships?
How has OCD treatment affected your relationships?
Going through OCD treatment brought my family closer together. They became my biggest support and cheerleaders. They have also worked to educate themselves on OCD which allowed them to be more understanding.
@RobynđŞ´đ§đťââď¸đ§ I love this
Love this! Education is so important.
@RobynđŞ´đ§đťââď¸đ§ I would but you donât take my insurance
@Crabmask2023 Mine either. I guess Iâm not supposed to learn about me.
Ocd treatment has helped me realize that I had ROCD. For years I had struggled with it not knowing what I was dealing with. Letâs just say this treatment has helped me in my marriage tremendously.
So amazing to hear!
Iâm constantly over analyzing every little thing he says or does and how it can be taken the worst way possible. Always questioning whether things are right and that heâs âthe oneâ, and checking to see if itâs normal to feel the way Iâm feeling. Itâs so fucking exhausting
OCD can be exhausting, but know that there's hope for symptom management!
@mvrganne I felt that one deep sister !!
Treatment helped me to lean on my close friends for emotional support, and to accept their kindness, both of which used to scare me. I also got the courage to tell my family about my disorder. It helped me with my relationship to myself too, in terms of giving myself grace and self-compassion, and ending cycles of negative self talk. Some days itâs hard, some days itâs easier.
This is completely relatable! Giving grace to yourself can feel challenging but can be important in the recovery journey.
My family is very supportive. Sometimes I feel like a burden when I get into a reassurance seeking loop but they are so good about it. My So knows I have rocd and we even joke about it it which actually helps a lot because I don't have to hide anything
I donât ask my mom for reassurance anymore - I can just be present with her and hear how her life is going and talk about my own without needing to do a compulsion. Such freedom!!
So much hope found in this message! Thanks for sharing!
I lost my most important relationship due to extremely high OCD and so im committed to making sure that doesnât happen ever again. It was so painful to have happen.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Once I found out I had relationship ocd, therapy helped me lean in closer to my values. I am so much closer to my boyfriend. I feel more present in my life and relationship. I have my period where I have more intrusive thoughts, but its mostly in passing now
OCD treatment has allowed me to grow in my relationship. From the lowest of lows, and now recovering back to that high. My relationship isnât the same before the OCD hit, but now something different my partner and I have both learned to live with
My OCD was relationship OCD. Therapy helped me deal with my thoughts so we could actually see and enjoy the progress we had made with marriage counseling. Being free from those obsessions gave me time, and motivation to be the mom and wife I want to be. I think the whole family is better because of it.
Wow this is awesome - thanks for sharing this piece of encouragement!
NOCD has helped me develop relationships (marital, family, friends, work) in the sense that before I would avoid mostly all places and people including my family (my kids and siblings) because I never felt like I was there meaning I was physically at a place but never mentally there. I had become a stranger to others and even to myself. NOCD has helped me regain myself and has allowed me to be present for those who matter the most. On behalf of my husband, family, friends and kids but more importantly me, Thank you NOCD!!!!!!!
Love this!
I have relationship ocd. For years, my wife has occasionally had to go out of town on business trips. I always get nervous whenever this happens because I have trust issues with her and think of all the possibilities of her with someone else. It drives me crazy. I obsess about it until we end up in a huge fight, and one of us threatens divorce. I have no friends to rely upon when she's gone. I also end up sick and sometimes in the E.R. I NEED TO BREAK MY CYCLE!
Honestly, when I was good for a few months and had zero symptoms. My relationships were amazing. My head was so clear. But other stuff come to the surface and I'm not the best with them right now because I'm almost hyperfocused on what's in my head (creativity wise rather than ocd). So still currently not the best but I am healthier than what I was
Progress isn't linear!!
OCD treatment has allowed me to connect better mentally with my friends and have just a better and greater time being in the moment compared to the beginning of treatment and where I was months before now đş
My parents donât understand OCD. Especially, my dad, who does not believe in ERP. He thinks OCD can be cured with a pill. Iâm alone, on my own. OCD gets triggered whenever my dad argues or has an attitude with my mom (even if they are divorced my dad will find a way to speak bad of her in front of me) I had to learn how to do ERP on my own, but whatâs also eating me is my environment. I am in therapy for trauma, but I feel controlled. Iâm sinking and each day I canât see the surface
I have ROCD. My wife refuses to educate herself and tells me that she does not think that I have OCD. She really pushes meds. Which Iâll admit meds have made a huge impact, once I got through the bad meds. Iâm doing better but worry about our marriage long term. My relationship with my kids is better and Iâm focusing at work better.
OCD treatment has allowed me to create relationships that I thought Iâd never have đ
@noahhateshisocd I love this , it gives me hope
@Dogmom97 There is so much hope to have with conquering your OCD â¤ď¸ I didnât think there ever could be, but just keep the practice up :)!
Definitely made all of my relationships easy I wasn't shaking from anxiety thinking harm could come to them :)
Messed up my life I donât have relationship friends
Me too. But I know now that I didn't screw up. I wasn't taught things I needed to know but didn't know I needed.
Boss isnât happy Iâm missing some work. Other than that itâs still pretty terrible hahaha
That's a loaded question.
I used to self isolate switch hurt my relationships with family and friends. I stoped self isolation after treating ocd with greatly helped my relationships.
I would say 2 big things for me are 1) Iâve stopped asking people for advice for the most part and comparing their answers and agonizing and 2) being able to do an exposure when Iâm very anxious to target a specific insecurity
I also feel significantly less jealousy of exes and other people my partner could be interested in
Treatment for my ocd has given back my relationships with my friends and family! Iâm no longer compulsively confessing any moment I get to be with them and am spending time with them while being present. My relationship with my husband is less strained as we have been working together on being with each other and through our current needs.
Better. All better. I'm able to actually be emotionally present with my friends and family in a way I never was before. I always felt like I was presenting a false self and I was stuck in the throes of guilt. I have rocd as well, so treatment allowed me to recognize this and have a great relationship with a great man.
OCD treatment has really helped me to be able to spend more time with my friends and family without the interruption of compulsions. It helped me to not worry so much and focus on the present with whoever is with me in that moment.
Well I told some dear friends of mine and they thought I was a psychopath so there's that. These are adults in their 50s .
Meh
My OCD GOT SOOOOO BAD ?!!!
Not at all. First of all Iâm single and always will be. Secondly my parents have always been there for support
In terms of hand washing, my parwnts(my father, mainly) joke abt me washing my hands endlessly. At this point Iâm used to it, but they get rlly upset when I canât control something, and it feels like Iâm just ocd
My firsthand treatment experience has helped me to educate my loved ones. My mom just recently bought a book about OCD to learn more!
Time. Time is literally being taken away from my loved ones. Itâs sad to me, but not only till then end of the day. I go, go, go and do things until bed time comes.
Yes :( friend, family and spouse !@! I hate this sickness t
I finally feel like I can connect to people like real people do. I donât have the need to anxiety dump or confess as strongly as I used to. I can simply just enjoy the people I love.
I have always felt so guilty and ashamed around my family but still reached out cause I didnât want to fight it alone as a kid- I would sleep next to my mom for comfort in the night, through my teens it was so bad, and like mumbling reassurance shit to myself, calling my youth pastor, my sister, anybody with great reassurance at like 3am- it was bad
I was really struggling and I felt like I was dragging my family down the drain with me- the worst part was none of us knowing what this was all about and judging myself for having these mental breakdowns- I could barely handle going to the bathroom alone with my thoughts ⌠my family has tried their best and Iâm so glad Iâm finding better support so I can share these thing with them to help them understand whatâs going on and how they can get help
It has given me hope and grace for myself. It has taught me how worthy I am of my life and the people I have in it
They improved a lot. Iâm finally able to go out with friends and my boyfriend. I am less distant too.
Iâve never had a girlfriend. Thatâs how itâs affected my relationships.
Going through this has caused me to get confused when it came to my romantic one and has been so hard to try and figure out fact from fiction sitting with this is not the best feeling
My relationship with my anxiety :3
Actually not affected at all.
OCD fâd up so many relationships, to the point where all I could do was let. Go.
What should I do if my family calls me too sensitive? How can I tell them lovingly that I have OCD without seeming aggressive?
It has affected my relationships in many ways but my family has a long line of people with OCD that lets us understand who we are and what we need to be functional!
100% yes. There is very little OCD hasnât affected in some way.
I notice that after I complete an exposure, I need to decompress before I can walk back into social interactions. One time, I finished an exposure, went right out of my room to spend time with my sister, and she asked me, âAre you okay?â because I didnât seem quite myself. Exposures can be really intense, and I need to be in solitude (watch a funny video or something, by myself) for at least a little while after completing an exposure.
What is an exposure
@yadasake It is intentionally bringing about the anxiety that triggers your OCD, or âknocking on OCDâs doorâ instead of the other way around. However, instead of responding with compulsions, you respond with ERP messaging.
What is ERP messaging?
@yadasake Statements like âI just donât know,â or âI donât have all the information to be certain.â
Going through OCD treatments so far as Iâm a beginner has got me to bring my family and friends who are very supportive closer for emotional support. Itâs got me to understand that my relationship with myself is just as important and how some days harder than others to end negative feelings
I honestly have felt pretty alone going through treatment. I know my husband loves and supports me but just doesnât fully understand. And my mom and dad they didnât know what to do at all which is nothing against them. All the way from when I was a child they would get frustrated and then as I got older and my themes shifted to more taboo themes they were terrified and so was I. We donât really talk much but I know they love me and support me as much as they can. Iâve learned that while yes having support from others is nice however, I am the one who has to put in the work. Regardless of what type of support Iâm receiving. My therapist is obviously a support and Iâm so happy to have met her. I know others have to go through this completely alone so I am grateful for the support I do have. My heart goes out to those who are doing this alone. You are amazing and strong and you can do this.
I donât visit back home because I am apprehensive about traveling or âwhat ifsâ of traveling or being away from my comfort zones. I over-question my feelings in my marriage, if theyâre real, genuine, even there at all. I sometimes get existential thoughts about how I even got to where I am like it was by chance rather than choice.
A spike in ROCD when I moved in with my boyfriend (first time living with a partner) is what made me realize I had severe untreated OCD. Iâve been in therapy for over a decade, but OCD was the missing piece of the puzzle I could never find. I wasnât broken, unlovable, or a terrible personâI just never had the correct tools for what I was dealing with. This new awareness + ERP has helped me work on myself and stop self-sabotaging. I was always stuck in the past or future and was never able to enjoy the present with my loved ones. I no longer feel doomed to repeat this cycle of self-torment. It has also helped me identify OCD symptoms in my partner and family members (I went under the radar because everyone around me has OCD) and share hope and courage for their journeys too. We were all unknowingly feeding off each othersâ OCD, but in just a few months Iâve seen so much improvement in my life and relationships with others.
Study
It has made me able to explain what I need from loved ones much easier.
It was hard. I was hospitalized for 15 days about 8 months ago, so it's been a journey. NOCD treatment and all of my treatment has helped my relationship with my mom and my husband and brought us closer together!
My son has OCD and heâs 9. My husband is in denial, my mother thinks he needs a spanking and my sister thinks heâs spoiled! I tell them, âknowledge is powerâ! Educate yourselves and then maybe Iâll listen! Itâs just my son and myself keeping on. Iâll continue to read and search and hope.
@Jessie M. Iâm sorry they donât believe it, but Iâm glad your son has you as an advocate.
Going through ERP has helped me learn to trust my boyfriend and live act confidently in my relationship!
No judgements, listen to understand and not to blame or point a finger "thus is why..." Don't look at it as flaw, a problem, look at is as something you, they, us have to learn, adapt, like diabetes or Kidey disease. Change your lifestyle to live better and live longer and most productive. Understand boundaries maybe necessary.
My whole marriage was affected by my undiagnosed OCD. Once I got an official diagnosis and treatment, I cried a lot to my spouse due to feeling so bad for how much it caused issues. Now, Iâm so very grateful to be able to explain to my family and try to do my treatment in real time. They have been reaping the benefits as I do. Unfortunately, my marriage has ended because of my ROCD. I had to be very honest with myself. Now, my ex-spouse and I have a new understanding and respect for each other and life is getting better.
My wife and I have never understood each other more than we do know. Bringing her in to my treatment plan was scary AF, but it was a turning point in my life. It took time to consistently share, but once I did, the isolation I felt slowly subsided.
I have gained a better relationship with my father
Relationships will always be a difficult one for me with my disability but it made me understand my relationship mental loops and help my current relationship thrive more. It also made me understand how much more healing I have to do. My current partner is so incredibly loving and understanding and wants to help me beat this đ
Having a hobby helps keep your mind off of the what ifs guys and gals it really does
My husband is very supportive.
Valentineâs Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include âIs my partner âThe Oneââ? âMaybe I am meant to be with someone elseâ. âWhat if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/herâ? âI find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with Xâ? âDo I even love my partner? What if they donât love me?â This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the ârightâ relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no âperfect relationshipâ. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasnât a major factor then. It wasnât until my longest relationshipâsix years from age 18 to 24âthat OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasnât the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldnât let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if Iâm with the wrong person? Iâd break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then Iâd question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could âwithstand it this time,â only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadnât built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed upâquestioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I havenât yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know thatâs my next step. Just like Iâve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control meâto learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to âfigure it out.â I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know Iâm not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. Iâm hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I donât expect to eliminate doubt entirelyâafter all, doubt is a part of every relationshipâbut I want to reach a place where it doesnât paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. Iâd love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
Iâm new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancĂŠ, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether thatâs an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I canât disengage till there is a clear resolution. Itâs causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
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