Harm ocd please respons desperate

@Julian2006 Yes please is that okay I am scared I am going to even though i dont feel worried and when i get a strong image urge i get a rush of panic. Have you had this before?

@carol.xxx Of course it’s alright! I’ve experienced that before too, unfortunately. I’ve struggled with POCD, harm OCD, and now relationship OCD, and all of which made me feel like I was prone to do something horrible, and if I didn’t feel immediate fear or disgust, then that meant I would have no problem doing it. It sucks, a lot. But being neutral doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it’s the natural state of mind! I know it’s easier said but, try to remember that. Try and stay as calm as you can. You are not a bad person, the fact that you’re so scared of being a bad person shows that you’re not.

@Julian2006 Ok thank you for talking me the problem is i feel like im going to, a murderer wouldnt feel this worried would they? im just scared i dont even know anymore they feel constant and likr i am going to do it. I only feel safe when i know someone would restrain me and i always say if i was that close i would k*** myself

@carol.xxx A murderer would’ve enjoyed the idea of killing someone, if they were truly psychopathic. The thing is, your brain will never accept any amount of evidence as a sign that you’re not a bad person. We have to eventually come to terms with that uncertainty. It’s hard, but it’s something that takes time. I thought that if I ever hurt a kid or someone I loved, I would have to kill myself too. It ALWAYS jumps to the extreme. We have to learn how to live with that uncertainty, no matter what, then the thoughts’ll go away on their own. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this right now, it’s so scary in the moment when you’re experiencing it-

@Julian2006 - egodystonic vs egosyntonic

@Overthinker14 Exactly! Thank you for summing it up simpler for me, that’s what I meant

@Julian2006 You struggled with POCD in the past? Does that mean you overcame it?

@Zoë_84 I’m still going through with therapy! But it’s slowly getting better. Right now, it seems my OCD shifted to the idea of being a cheater for the time being, which really sucks, but that just tells me that now that it’s realizing that I’m starting to fall for its tricks less and less, that it has to resort to something else!

@Julian2006 Thank you for your reply. Yes, OCD is sneaky, always trying to find something to torture us with.

@rylie0331 Hey girl i am still so scared have you ever had like not feeling anxious about the thought or the feeling of getting up and its even scarier because not rven anxiety is comforting you bc i feel scared of this feeling throughout my body

@carol.xxx - yes i almost feel better when i get anxiety about the thought because its like oh im scared perfect i have ocd and i think when im not scared that means i want to do it/nothing is going to stop me. Its so annoying and everytime i have that feeling i feel like something "snaps" me out of it but if i never snapped out of it i would do it and im scared one time im just gonna not snap out of it in time. Its so confusing and awful its like yeah i know who i am but that person doesnt even feel present rn so it feels like all the validation of saying thats not me doesnt even help. But deep down i know validation is bad for my ocd anyway but idk its just so hard to believe the thoughts aren't real when they are all you think about. Have you been to therapy at all for your ocd?