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Hey hey! Your OCD is gonna do anything it can to convince you, down to the very point where you make yourself believe you’re on the verge of doing something or you don’t care about it anymore. The fact that you made this post shows that you still care, even if you don’t feel like you do. Let’s take a little, maybe we can work together to get you through this?

Even if you “feel” like you enjoy it, remember your OCD can also make you feel that. You haven’t done anything and you won’t,

I think it would really help to watch these videos that I’ll post below. Harm ocd FEELS terrible, but you are never going to go those things, so you don’t have to worry. Try these videos; they are really good :):) And don’t worry that watching the video will trigger you. OCD tries to trick us by saying that we can’t get help for ourselves, because if we do, we’ll get triggered. Don’t fall for that! You have to face up to things and access help, or you won’t get better:):):) https://youtu.be/UHCtK_KWiSE?si=NXx-E_KP5wsn5MCj https://youtu.be/3aOjh_CPydc?si=u_gdstFFYLpqsOwo There are more videos from that channel also that focus on the TREATMENT of harm OCD. Remember, this is a common sub-type of OCD. You are not alone! A lot of people struggle with the exact same thing. You can conquer this! You just need ERP therapy:):)💕

The fear that you experiencing is your bodies way of expressing its distaste for these thoughts. What you are experiencing are intrusive thoughts which contradict the sheer nature of your wants. OCD attacks what we love, such as security, people, and our core virtues. Realize that these thoughts are egodystonic, meaning that they are inconsistent with a person's values, self-perception, or personal identity. You don't want to act on these thoughts, but your mind struggles to differentiate this emotional reaction from true intention. Thus, the only way to designify and overcome these thoughts is to diminish the emotional value by acknowledging the thought yet not interacting with it. I've learned this process through extensive ERP, and the specific name of this practice is RPM or response prevention methods. I also struggle with harm OCD. When I get a thought regarding harm, I will encounter it like so, "This thought is uncomfortable, but I can cope with this discomfort." Also, I will remind myself that "thoughts are thoughts," "feelings aren't facts," and "urges aren't mandates." I still encounter scary, harmful thoughts on a daily basis, but this tactic has helped so much. I hope this helped and I hope you feel better!

girl i literally get the same thing sometimes it feels so real like i'm going to just get up and do it and by "not caring" it feels like i'm "down" to do it. Its awful i'm so sorry your going through this and i'm literally having an ocd episode rn for the same reason. I am still learning myself but i just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I know reassurance isn't good for our ocd but neither is feeling isolated. If you ever want a friend i'm here.