LillyX
- Date posted
- 1y
Feeling so down.
I feel so defeated by false memory ocd. The reality of it all hits me so hard , I just feel so hopeless.
hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...
- Date posted
- 1y
Consider this for a moment. We often think we see with our eyes, but in reality, our eyes merely transmit signals to the brain, which then creates the images we perceive. The same process applies to hearing, tasting, touching, and smelling—our brain constructs our perception of reality. This brain also understands your values and the true essence of who you are. In OCD, I believe there's a malfunction in the mechanism that recycles memories. Its primary role is to clear out old memory spaces for reuse. If it encounters a memory linked to something important to you, it brings it to your attention to see if you'll react. If you do, it retains the memory; if not, it's discarded as irrelevant. For someone with OCD, ignoring these thoughts is challenging. They often dwell on them, signaling the brain to keep them and attempt to resolve whether they're significant by creating false scenarios or memories. This process occurs while the person experiences intense emotional reactions because these thoughts clash with their values, leading to feelings of rejection and distress. The awareness that they might be responsible for these unwanted thoughts exacerbates the situation, resulting in a cycle of agony. After many cycles, the person becomes exhausted from anxiety and emotional turmoil. However, the brain is genuinely trying to help by clearing memory space and resolving ethical or moral dilemmas. The key is understanding that your true self remains intact. You are defined by your negative emotions toward these intrusive memories, not the memories themselves. Hang in there; trust me, things will get better. Apologies for the lengthy post—I wanted to explain it thoroughly, and I might share this response with others who could benefit from it.
LillyXLillyX
- Date posted
- 1y
@hanysm@gmail.com Thank you I really appreciate that, you’re so right! Also sorry for the late response had a little break from the app.
hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...
- Date posted
- 1y
@LillyX Simply leave it unmentioned. This mechanism typically activates during sleep and is responsible for our dreams. In individuals with OCD, it activates while they are awake. This explains two things: first, that poor sleep habits are closely linked to OCD; and second, that intrusive thoughts can be likened to bad dreams or nightmares.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
I hope this helps… the brain does not know the difference between something you vividly imagine and something you actually experience. In other words, whatever you focus on, you’re going to feel whether it’s real or not. With OCD, it feels like your whole focus and energy has been hijacked by one distressing, but meaningless thought or series of thoughts related to the same theme. For you, it sounds like it’s especially difficult because you’re feeling down, which means there is likely some self judgement and harsh criticism towards yourself. If you’re not seeing a therapist, I highly encourage you to. Also know you are never alone and there’s always a way out, even if you may not see it. In the meantime, I would strongly suggest being kind to yourself. This means taking it slow, and gently refocusing (even a little) on something you enjoy that will keep your mind and emotions engaged. The thoughts and feelings will of course linger in the background (or foreground) but you can’t wish them away, so let them sit. It’s ok to have the thoughts, feelings and sensations, and you need to let yourself know that you’ll find a way through this. Go easy on yourself, take it slow, and gently challenge yourself to do just one small thing differently that will begin to put you back in charge. But please if you are not seeing a therapist get help now. I delayed for so long and there’s no need to delay and continue suffering.
LillyXLillyX
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous Thank you that does help a lot! I’m going to see a therapist again soon as it’s becoming unbearable, I appreciate the advice!
kristiwebbkristiwebb
- Date posted
- 1y
this. false memory ocd is such a sneaky beast. i'm actually dealing with something similar right now, where i keep questioning whether i did something embarrassing during a work meeting last week. it's like my brain is determined to convince me that i totally messed up, even though i logically know i didn't. it's exhausting, right? just remember that you're not alone in this (even though it feels like it sometimes). when i'm in the thick of it, i try to remind myself that these thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. it doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps me breathe a little easier. sending you lots of strength and virtual hugs! 🌟
LillyXLillyX
- Date posted
- 1y
@kristiwebb Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it! I hope you find some relief also
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Neko_Mancer
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel broke and hopeless.
I'm currently at one of the lowest points with my OCD despite me working so hard on it and everything that I know it stems from because a lot of my OCD comes from trauma from sexual abuse as a kid and as I got older and a lot of other stuff which is also why I have Complex PTSD. I was doing so well, I started medication, and I was in this dual housing program for treatment and everything was going okay. That was until I ended up getting SA’D by a man there and none of the staff cared or did anything despite me doing everything possible and gathering all of this evidence and all the people there either didn't care or bullied me relentlessly as they laughed with my abuser. It was so painful and I felt so alone. I think what triggered my spiral was that it was very similar to the reactions of my past assaults and thus my OCD came spiralling alongside my C-PTSD symptoms and I feel like it is worse then before. I left that place but its still absolutely terrible and I feel so hopeless and hurt. Not only did this man hurt me like I have been in the past he brought back the very thing that caused me so many years of suffering. It makes me sick. I don't want to think these thoughts or feel these horrible urges and sensations. I feel so disgusting and broken.
YouWillSurvive
- Date posted
- 17w
Really Struggling with POCD Today
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Iwantthistob...
- Date posted
- 9w
False Memory OCD Support Needed
I basically can’t stop thinking about the false memories and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop since I’ve woken up today. I keep picturing the images / the false memory and I focus and fixate on the images and they feel so so real and realistic and when I think of them I get a feeling of “clarity” and a genuine sense of knowing and belief that deep down I know these memories are true and have happened and that I’m just in denial and lying to myself and you by saying that they’re false memories when in actuality I know they’re real which is also really frustrating and makes me feel uncomfortable. On top of that as I’m writing this message my stomach won’t stop turning and it really hurts and I just want to cry and my brain says that I’m experiencing these physical feelings because I know I am lying and just in denial and that these physical symptoms are proof that I am lying and just in denial and I just don’t know what to do or how to calm down. I really don’t want these memories to be true and I want them to be false more than anything in the world and I am not lying when I say I don’t know whether or not they’re real and I’m not lying or pretending they’re false memories but the more I say that to myself the more it feels like a lie and I’m just terrified at the thought and idea of them being even 1% true because why wouldn’t they be? Is it really possible to fabricate entire memories or doing sexual things to and with another person that are that detailed and realistic :/ My brain says things will only get better once I admit to the false memories and stop lying to myself and stop being in denial and stop using false memory ocd as an excuse and just admit to them because I know deep down I have done them and that they’re true which is why I feel a deep sense of clarity about them and that I am just continuing to lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to my therapist and to my family when I say I don’t know whether I have done anything sexual to or with this person because deep down I know I have I just don’t want to admit it so I’m continuing to be in this heavy state and cycle of denial because I don’t want to accept what I have done. I just want this to end. I just want confirmation that I have never done anything sexual to or with this person and that these memories are entirely fabricated by my ocd and have no basis in reality but I don’t even think that’s possible. I’m so done.
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