- Date posted
- 29w
:(
My mental health is declining due to ocd. It’s like a huge mix between ocd episode and depression wave. I feel weak and hopeless. I wanna cry. I’m exhausted . I feel like I’ve lost myself again.
My mental health is declining due to ocd. It’s like a huge mix between ocd episode and depression wave. I feel weak and hopeless. I wanna cry. I’m exhausted . I feel like I’ve lost myself again.
Good morning. Yeah OCD and depression go hand in hand. It's common to have setbacks. And it can make us feel so depressed when we do. We have to keep doing the work. You found yourself before and you can do it again. OCD healing is a journey. You're not lost but maybe you just got off the main road for a bit, but you can find your way back. Don't quit, don't give in to OCD. It's so hard I know with everything you are feeling right now. But you are not alone, and we are all wishing you nothing but the best.
@ElevenB Thank you
@Brian :) You are welcome. And I don't take it lightly how you are feeling. I have been there. But you can do this.
Couple things. OCD is an issue of rigid thinking patterns. Depression can seep in where hopelessness exists. But. Thankfully. Ocd can be significantly improved with noninvasive therapies so long as you’re willing to do the work. I was in a really bad place at one point. But thankfully I was able to pull myself out of it with the help of others. You must break the thought cycles. Not in a foreceful way but in a passive way. We cannot continually carry a weight. We must add a small amount of weight daily until the body does not recognize nor care about the burden it sometimes bears.
I’m in the worst place I’ve ever been with mine right now 😢
Makes me feel lost. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain
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