Can someone who has dealt with a similar situation help me. *warning* do not read unless u can deal with depressing post. Recently my girlfriend broke up with me and she was my best friend so I dont have anyone else to ask. I've been increasingly depressed lately and have been feeling suicidal. I'm afraid to reach out for medical help because last time they almost sent me off to a psychiatric ward and im not sure I can deal with that. I just feel like like my OCD is worsening. I have a hard time getting up in the morning, I used to only sleep 4-6 hours and now it's around 10 a night. I try to eat but I just never feel like eating even when I cook. I just dont really know what to do anymore I just want some advice and to know if anyone else has gotten past this point.

Please help a struggling person This is going to be long and i apologize. Since about 11 I’ve been treated for bipolar disorder and no antipsychotics ever had any effect on me. All made me feel lucid or zombie like. Recently a psychiatrist diagnosed me with ocd and adhd and told me that the two illnesses together can present as bipolar disorder and that’s probably why i was misdiagnosed the majority of my life. I’ve come at a cross roads in my life. I desperately need help but only see my psychiatrist once a month which doesn’t really help. I’m not really a therapy person either. Can someone please help me out and tell me if I’m crazy or if they’ve had similar experiences?? My freshman year i had a 4.0 and was excited at the thought of becoming a med student in the future. Now that it’s summer I’m spiraling. I’m so angry all the time. I won’t let anyone see me or talk to anyone. Im so afraid I’m not good enough and my thoughts consume me. Im constantly worried about the future and have vivid day dreaming episodes of where I’ll end up and how I’m going to fail. I won’t go out and have gained weight and now i constant obsess about my weight and won’t let anyone see me because of what i look like. My thoughts are in patterns and repeat and repeat and won’t go away. I can’t even function anymore. All i do is lay in my bed and think. It’s like a bad movie that won’t turn off. I also won’t allow myself to experience any sort of love connection because I’m terrified of confirming or denying my sexuality. My brain is constant and i feel like there’s nothing that i can do to ever turn it off and feel normal. My intrusive thoughts and starting to become my only thoughts. This panic state has been my state for about 3 weeks now. Can someone give some advice?

[ 24, F ] I apologize for intruding... I finally got courage to post here because I know I'll be seen with poor eyes however, I am ready for any criticism coming my way. I'm really sorry for making this post but I need help. 3 months ago, my gf broke up with me (yes, I'm gay) and ever since I haven't been able to move forward. I've had a few good days but all in all, I have either dealt with the mourning of the relationship or, as most of you know, my horrible ocd. She is a wonderful woman and I wish her all the happiness in the world but she broke me badly... Her reasons to break up were: my ocd, my suicidal tendencies, the long distance, my dependency on the relationship to be happy/alive, her own private matters, that we had never met before (though we made video calls) and others I don't know about. I'm not going to lie. I'm overly suicidal over this. She was the one for me and we had a wonderful future planned, only to give up on me... I feel betrayed but I don't blame her. She deserves better.... I never deserved her anyway and that is what I keep telling myself to cope with the pain. It helps me to stay rational. It's easier to take all the blame than to fear being unfair to her. Because in the end, she didn't do anything wrong. This was my first and last relationship. I never met her in person, it was always long distance. She was the best thing thag ever happened to me. And I know I won't be able to love again.... Because of countless reasons: - I don't easily develop a romantic interest and I don't forsee that ever happening again. - I'm a piece of shit... I don't deserve love - I won't be able to trust again. Telling me "I won't leave you" was a lie... - I feel like I am betraying her... She was the one for me... If I date someone else, I have lied... I'd feel like our relationship was nothing... I would feel guilty. Does it make sense? Like a fairy tale... I guess. I loved her... I shouldn't love someone else. - I feel like I still have to look up to the image people have of me and that is "(my name), never dates! She's superior to those things" Yes, I know what you are thinking. Innocent, gullible, childish, I know. I don't believe in soul mates and all of that but I believe in the goodness of people. I take dating very seriously and I fell in love pretty hard because she is a wonderful person... And we were compatible. I could never date for fun (please don't think I judge. This is my choice when it comes to dating but I respect every person's lifestyle as long as it isn't illegal or toxic) I need help... Or just someone to talk to. I don't know what type of advice to look for. I just want someone to talk to, I guess. And before I go, I just wanted to say that I'm really in pain. I started dating her because I really liked her and I saw a potential future. She is wonderful, sweet and we were super compatible. When we broke up, my heart broke in half. All the plans we've made, everything. It took me by surprise because I thought we were going strong as always. Apparently not because she failed to communicate me her fears... This sucks... My fucking life is over. I have nothing to live for. Life gives only to take it away to make me suffer. Thank you for reading.

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.