College issues failing

I litterly just don't care like my mental state is so bad rn I'm litterly falling one of my classes but I have two good grades in my other ones and I still struggle to move my self out of bed and do regular things like shower and other stuff it's hard to push myself because I'm so drained because of what's been going on with me I don't feel like doing shit I just wanna quite like when will I get better I wanna let go and just be normal again but like I'm stuck I keep obsessing over the same things in my head and it just keeps coming back like and I keep testing myself again and again and AGAIN it doesnt even bother me anymore like im just used to it like ive accpted thats not good maybr its because of been thinking about it alot and my brain is just trying to heal and go back to its normal state i hope so and not the fact that im turning into a horrible person i just want an answer but that's not gonna happen I'm even afraid to even go out I was gonna go get boba today with my mom but I was asleep I wish I had any other ocd but this one.

veinsoul

Date posted: 38w

I’ve been there. It’s been happening since I was 17 & it’s fucked me up so bad academically. And just everything about me overall. It takes time. I happened to snap out of it for a bit now & trying to collect the broken pieces. The thoughts appear, but I don’t give them much attention like I used to. I just acknowledge them, say a little “wtf…ok…,” then continue what I was doing. and holy shit, when I tell you that I didn’t ruminate & spiral over these thoughts??? I guess in my case, I’ve grown tired of the suffering that whenever an awful thought/image comes by, I literally just go “dawg shut the fuck uuuuppp.” if it helps, I can say that the pocd theme was so bad when I first encountered it; followed by a long time of suffering. and today? I was at the library and there’s a section for kids. my thoughts? I didn’t care. literally. sometimes I would hear kids making some noises which I assumed them playing around. what did I think? I didn’t care. if anything, I felt a bit annoyed bc kids can be annoying lol. I glanced at an article displayed in the hallway that showcased a kid. what did I think? nothing. just a kiddo. although I felt an evil thought lurking in the background, I didn’t let it get to me. had a kid around me while I made my way out of the library. my brain? nothing. just that I was glad to be going home. how did I do it? honestly, by exposing myself. half of the time on purpose and the other half being forced since I have a baby brother to take care of one day a week. thoughts appear here and there, which still shake me sometimes. but it feels like I gained control over this. hopefully this will last forever. know that you aren’t these thoughts! they are scary but you will need to let them pass. yes, it will feel shitty but it truly helps with reducing flare ups. like others have said to me, take care of yourself. you matter, even if your thoughts may say otherwise. you’re cared for. 🫂

🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 38w

Thanks. It's just been really bad because eveytime I see a younger person on screen or in person I start to get anxiety like oh my god am I attracted to this like wtf eww no it's really scary and the thoughts are what makes it worse I've always been into men like it just really scary.... and the worse part about this that I'm feeling like I'm accepting this shit like I don't wanna feel like I like this because I know I don't if I have never done that compulsion and gave into I would be normal and feel fine I wouldn't even be on here. I just hope I'm not actually attracted and it's just ocd and the thoughts like I really hope because this has been going on for too long now and it's not leaving it just stays I just wanna feel like me again I used to go out all the time and not feel anything because I know who I am and that's not what I desire like can this actually change you because I hope not my brain is like u know what that's it.

veinsoul

Date posted: 24w

in need of help

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

moomoo22

Date posted: 23w

pls reply if you have help

i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i haven’t been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isn’t enough i still feel so panicked

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

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College issues failing

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