anyone else ever just feel like their hocd is the one different one that’s gonna turn out to be true?

I had that feeling too. And also in the past 11 years of having HOCD i've had a few thoughts that pass really quickly and they have given me this feeling or sensation that literally feels like "wait, did I just felt like I enjoyed, agreed or liked this thought"? and I have panick. They always happened really quick And scared the shit out of me. Even thoughts to kissing a friend. It has beeb like 10 years since that one and today I remember that and just think "no... hell no, how could I have doubted this".

yes. i used to have the thoughts so much that i just got used to them and they didn’t bother me. they were there and i hated that i had them but they didn’t gross me out, and that made me think i liked them for the longest time. this freaked me out so much. and especially now that i’m getting better and so the thoughts really don’t disgust me anymore, it kind of freaks me out bc that makes me think i like them and am just denying it. but that’s not the truth.

Well, it's harder it looks. Still today I have some thoughts that make me doubt and hurt. But most of this kind of thoughts I can let them pass without stressing. Unfortunately you will never get certainty that you're thought was false. But I do challenge it a bit. When I had the thought of kissing a friend, that at least for the span of a millisecond felt like "I enjoyed this", I would challenge it with things like: "I have never analyzed how "a thought feels for a brief second" to decide or know if I desire someone or not. It only happens with my unwanted thoughts. Most importantly, I identify that right at the moment you say "did this felt like I enjoyed it or liked it" you are adding meanings to your thoughts, HEAVY AND IMPORTANT MEANINGS". And this on itself distorts the experience of the thought. Maybe it was just a creative thought that you missinterpreted or in the worst and most scary scenario, it could have been a thought you had in your mind that maybe felt a bit "funny" for a second. Who knows, after so many thoughts and scenarios one comes up with... but asking yourself "did I liked it?" "Did I enjoyed it"? "Do I want it"? That's just fear speaking for you, and in reality it means even more: "Im turning gay, I'm changing", etc. So in short, I just let them pass and as anxiety goes down I can actually look at the person again and feel confident in saying "oh hell no, there'a not a chance here"...

YESSSSS LMAO i thought i was the only one who thought this

All the time! I have a question. Does it ever feel like you like your thoughts? This is something I really struggle with. If so, can you describe to me what that liking feeling is like for you? I just need to feel like I'm not alone and going crazy.

Yeah same thank you for responding :)

YES!!! Yes!!!! I thought I was the only one!!!!! THANK GOD IM NOT ALONE!!!!

I feel so much better ? It’s like your head wants to ruin any bit of happiness in your life and destroy any dream you’ve ever had

of course! i think that’s very common in hocd

so glad all of you can relate! i feel so much better knowing it’s not just me