Do you guys also have OCD about past thoughts?

It’s turning into this sort of real event OCD where I’ll remember something I thought of months or years ago and shrugged off except now I’m consumed by guilt and panic for not caring back then. Like the whole what if thinking that and not reacting or just being like whatever means I was really a terrible person and I just now grew a conscience? It’s not even past actions, it’s all about what has come to my mind before. I used to just be like “okay anyway” sometimes I’d let the thought play out and then just move on. But now I think I recognize them as intrusive and I feel shame and guilt for not caring to question them in the past. I think in developing some new theme or something if that’s what real event ocd is? Help?

tryingmybestt

Date posted: 42w

What’s crazy is I do this and then I wonder what was I thinking in the past with that event in the present moment that right now I feel so horrible about it like what changed in my moral compass to feel things were fine and now they’re not looking back. I hate feeling this way but I definitely understand replaying events from years ago months ago etc. and it can last days if I am in a severe episode

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 42w

@tryingmybestt I completely understand what you’re saying. I think it’s a mix of developing a stronger sense of morals as we age and overthinking. Back then, intrusive thoughts would pop up, and I’d think, ‘That was weird, but it probably doesn’t mean much. Anyway, back to what I was doing.’ A normal response, really. Now, as an adult dealing with OCD, the idea of shrugging off intrusive thoughts—or even thinking, ‘I don’t mind this thought being here,’ especially the bad ones—terrifies me. Looking back, it makes me panic to think how little those thoughts used to bother me. It feels like I had no morals, but I know that’s not true. I probably had a weaker sense of morality back then, but I could still recognize intrusive thoughts as meaningless and move on—something that’s so normal for people without OCD.

tryingmybestt

Date posted: 42w

@isshpra 🫶🏻 This is beautiful! Sounds like you have really done the work to help yourself maintain the understanding of ocd. It’s so nice to hear I am not alone!

I’m Batman

Date posted: 42w

Ooo this is where my ocd started when I was 13 I think. It’s why I went undiagnosed for so long. It’s all internal. So no one can see you suffer. And back then ocd was just known as hand washing or counting right ? lol. Till one day I told a therapist I did this and he was like yeah that’s ocd. You mean everyone does not think about something they said or did 20 years ago for at least 6 hours and feel bad about it ? No ? 😁 I think what makes it worse is if you also have ADHD. One trait of ADHD is you can’t remember where you put a tool you used 5 minutes ago but you can remember something dumb that happened to you 10 years ago clearly. Then the ocd loves to lock onto that … like how can we make you feel bad about this to do a compulsion. It kind of reminds me of real event but the event is actually real, you are just now being shamed by ocd for it . The worst part is it’s crap I did not care about in my 20s .. but now all of a sudden in my 40s it’s all I can think about and feel bad about it. It’s a huge mind Fk. ERP is a little more tricky too because your exposures are more internal than external . But it’s still treatable. ❤️

I’m Batman

Date posted: 42w

@I’m Batman At least my ADHD makes it more interesting anyways.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 42w

@I’m Batman is that what’s happening? That makes a lot more sense now. The ADHD really does make me remember random crap all the time, it’s just so happens that it teamed up with my OCD now? 🙂 thank you for replying, it gives me hope to know it’s still treatable, a lot of my obsessions seem to be internal so it feels like I’m locking a box of shame idk lol. Thank you :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

Db99

Date posted: 17w

Past haunting you?

With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.

slippery_salad

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w

Need advice

Real event, legal ocd, and false memory ocd around events that happened years ago but never bothered me till a month ago and now my life is being destroyed because I feel sooooooooooo guilty

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Do you guys also have OCD about past thoughts?

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