Anyone else subconsciously check or test themself?

@Elicambel Thank you so much, it all feels so scary. Do you often feel the anxiety afterwards and not during the testing/checking? I was fine and doing much better, I don’t even know what happened. It all felt like I was watching myself from another perspective and suddenly came back to stop myself. I almost feel like I’m making up an excuse for almost acting on an intrusive thought. This has only happened once before and I was also doing okay. It only seems to happen when I’m better. It almost feels impulsive

@isshpra 🫶🏻 i relate to this so much about watching urself from another perspective, like it feels like i’m watching my movements from 3rd person if that makes sense and also i often feel intense anxiety afterwards the testing and checking but sometimes i will feel it during but there is times i wont feel anxious during the testing, you aren’t alone, in my opinion it’s just another thing OCD used against us, im open to any other questions :)

@Elicambel Thank you :) does it happen to you when you’ve been more actively stressed or passively stressed? Or is it random? Also just wondering, do you happen to have ADHD? I experience autopilot moments a lot with ADHD (not always compulsively testing/checking) so I was thinking it could possibly be related but maybe not. Thanks again for being so open to questions :))

@isshpra 🫶🏻 of course :) i haven’t been diagnosed for ADHD but i have suspected i do have it, my twin sister has ADHD and OCD so it does seem likely i have it too and yes it usually happens when im stressed or passively stressed, but it can also be random, you aren’t alone, any other questions u may have i will answer them :)

@Elicambel Oh interesting! thanks so much :) I’ll come back if I get anymore questions thank you 🫶🏻

@isshpra 🫶🏻 of course no worries :), i’m here for you if you need support or any questions as i think we have a very similar thing and would love to share so you don’t feel alone :)

@Elicambel Girl it just happened again :( it felt so scary ugh

@issphra 🫶🏻 hey it’s okay i’m here x

@issphra 🫶🏻 we can talk :)

@Elicambel Thank you, it means so much to me. I don’t want to hurt anyone and it feels like I’m always about to and I pull back last second. It’s so surreal

@issphra 🫶🏻 i understand, i want to try and not give u any reassurance but to just tell you that u aren’t alone, i experience this a lot, if u have any questions im here to answer, but in my opinion i think its just another way for OCD to trick us and that we’re never even close to doing things we don’t want to do, OCD thrives on anxiety and uses so many tricks, it clouds your judgment it’s like ur seeing through a different lens so ur perception is warped, if u have any questions im happy to answer as i also experience the same thing, u aren’t alone 🫶

@Elicambel Thank you :) I do want to believe it’s a trick it’s just so hard to see it that way when I can literally see myself inching towards something and then snapping back to reality. I’m doing my best to keep in mind that it was probably an impulsive testing compulsion and I wasn’t gonna even gonna touch anyone

@issphra 🫶🏻 ofc :), i understand, it’s really hard to see past it when ur so caught up in the anxiety of it all, i experience the same thing and lots of other things that i don’t know how to explain and it’s really stressful but i promise u aren’t alone, i really think it’s another way ocd tricks us, it’s awful i know but u aren’t alone, if u want to ask me anything im all ears :)

@Elicambel It may be too much detail but it attacks my pets, I’m really scared of touching their private area. When they ask for belly rubs I sometimes see my hand inching towards it before I snap my hand back and freak out. Is that sorta what you experience? I’m sorry if that was too much

@issphra 🫶🏻 it’s not too much, it’s insane that you say that because this literally happens earlier today 😭and i freaks out, i try to say to myself it’s just my body being hyper aware of my movements, but no it’s not too much this literally happened today when i was giving my dog a belly rub 😭

@Elicambel Girl I’m so sorry :( it happened earlier to me too. Imagine it was at the same exact time lmfao. It’s so hard, I started sobbing and my dog looked at me all confused. I’m here for you too

@issphra 🫶🏻 lmoa that would be insane, but yeah u aren’t alone, it also happens to me in loads of other situations and it’s so scary , im so sorry ur dealing with all this :( it’s truly painful, and im trying to find a way to get past the pain but its hard, and i get frustrated because it seems people think its just thoughts but then i feel bad because it feels like im doing something wrong, im here for you, i would give my socials so we could talk more if ur up for that but im scared my comment gets flagged 😭

@Elicambel You don’t have to add me, I understand it can be nerve wracking, just lmk if you decide to or not bc I don’t wanna leave it on here lol no pressure at all I promise :)

@issphra 🫶🏻 thankyou, i can add you if your up for it, i think it would help because ive never thought anyone else had the same thing as me, what would u want to add me on? :)

@Elicambel I commented my IG but I think it was automatically filtered out, my email is my bio. Do you wanna try to email me and I’ll send you my IG through there?

@issphra 🫶🏻 of course i’ll try that :)

@Elicambel Just lmk :))

@issphra 🫶🏻 i sent you an email, i hope it went through x

@issphra 🫶🏻 ahh good i’ll accept it :)

@FloralEnvoy Oh my god really? That’s exactly what it’s like for me too. I thought I was alone. Thank you so much for sharing