Can't sleep anyone else wants to chat?

I'm sorry you are suffering like that, I understand how's that like and it's no fault of your own. It's not that you don't want to be happy it's your mind that is suffering, Having OCD is like having your brain going haywire, it turns from being a perfectly fine machine to one filled with errors, and we don't feel in control. Please feel free to talk more if you need

@Viny i appreciate hearing this, thank you. my contamination is a constant 24/7 thing but i try my best to keep myself from ruminating on my harm thoughts. that can definitely be a struggle because i want to walk through all of the thoughts, but i know that doesn’t get me anywhere. it’s just really frustrating because my harm thoughts typically would come and go through years, but since last year, it’s never fully gone i feel like. it’s like a flip switched and i don’t know what happened. so, when i start to think about them, i think how terrible of a person i am for even having these thoughts in the first place. and i remember last year when it literally felt like i wanted to act on them. i’ve never ever done that, but it’s like i never knew why i didn’t. which i know sounds bad. i just feel abnormal and am struggling constantly

@flowerpetals I relate so much to this pattern of anxiety, I don't have the same theme as you but the way my OCD acts is exactly like this. Sometimes I think If it could be different. If these thoughts didn't exist

@Viny i just wish someone could get into my head and tell me if i’m normal. then tell me how to calm it down

@flowerpetals It's gonna be cliche, but consider an OCD therapist. The worst part about anxiety and OCD in general is that there isn't an amount of Answers one can seek that will satisfy them.

@Viny i’m actually currently in therapy but my goal is to get therapy through nocd one day! i just don’t have the insurance to cover it yet

@flowerpetals That's good! I hope you can get the help you need here.

So I'm just not being able to fall asleep. I think because maybe I took a cup of coffee a bit later than usual but I feel my mind being full even If I don't hear a thought right now it's just heavy, and you how are you doing tonight?

@Viny I get that a lot . Sometimes I just wait it out and wait till I literally can’t keep myself awake cuz it’s hard to turn off my brain . I also try to distracts so I can try to feel ok even if it only for a bit . I’m good btw , I can just never sleep

@Zubaida Insomnia is a b**tch lolz. I had it since I was a kid

Want to talk a bit about it?

@Viny sure

@Viny i have rlly bad sucidial ocd and death anxiety

@savannahframe19 Damn, fear of death is the worse! This theme is so meta for me I never really experienced it but I experienced harm OCD

@Viny i experience health ocd too i think meta also bc i have a fear of not getting better

@savannahframe19 I sometimes fear succumbing to the thoughts but that's also false

@Viny i’ve been sitting with it tho but yesterday was so difficult bc of my suicidal ocd

@savannahframe19 For me too, I've been sitting with it but it's really hard too, right now I'm experiencing SOOCD

@Viny i’m so sorry but we will get through it

@savannahframe19 It's okay I think it's waning. The worse part is that it is focusing on a friend of mine and it got worse because I was watching a movie and then one of the characters out of the blue had a gay scene. The movie is the last kingdom seven kings must die

@Viny i’m sorry :( ocd is such a big bully i’m so mad bc i’m trying to do exposures but it’s hard rn since my thoughts have been going crazy so i’m trying to wait till they calm down to do it but i’m doing better today then i was yesterday but my suicidal ocd is trying to come through so i’m like ugh

@savannahframe19 - Do the exposures it really helps! Yesterday I was on discord with the friend that my ocd was targetting and I was having a lot of anxiety but it did calm down a bit, today it almost vanished.

Thank you you too have a good night and you too matter, may God bless you