OCD distorting things immediately?

@Dalia H. i am going through a similar theme. you are not alone

@andrewt_ It’s awful. I feel like what creates most of mine is an intrusive thought that is so loud during the event that it makes me think I acted on it. It feels so real. I’m sorry you experience this too.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Heavy on feeling like you’ve acted on it Girl I literally cannot enjoy my alone time without having intrusive thoughts popping in during a private time and then I get really worried that I’ve acted on it like it’s so fuzzy and like low-key kind of confusing because they go against my morals and values and I would never act on such a thing but yet in the moment it feels like I’m acting on it and then people will tell me no you didn’t do anything wrong because you’re feeling guilty and a real awful person wouldn’t feel that way, but then I’m just like yeah you think that but a part of me feels like I genuinely made a mistake and I’m just now regretting it but then I asked myself like that doesn’t make any sense because again these are my morals and values :/

@issphra 🫶🏻 That’s exactly how it is for me too! It’s the worst. It’s not easy to deal with any of this

@andrea_sam730 You just summed up exactly how I feel. The false memories drive me insane. They feel so real and make me feel like a horrible person even if I know I have morals

@andrewt_ I’m really sorry that’s how you feel like you don’t deserve it at all. I have POCD so it’s scary as hell. It literally feels like I’m acting on it in the moment. I don’t feel so real and it just doesn’t make sense to me because again like they’re intrusive thoughts so like why would I intrusive thought that part also confuse me? :/

@andrea_sam730 You’re not alone, I promise. It’s so scary, but I’m right here with you 🤍

@issphra 🫶🏻 Ty so much 💕

@andrea_sam730 I feel the exact same way!! It also feels like I’m acting on it in the moment, like my body is no longer mine and I’m controlled by the OCD. It’s freaking terrifying and it sucks that we have to go through this. Just know you’re never alone and I’m sending love your way.

@andrewt_ I’m currently crying bc how guilty I am that’s exactly how I feel I can’t take it anymore :/ ocd has ruined everything for me it ripped everything away for me I genuinely feel like bc of how bad it feels it feels like it can’t be ocd and that I genuinely acted on it but it Doesn’t make sense the constant panicking I even told myself before hand I would act on it idk what’s going on I no longer feel alive or like me

@andrea_sam730 I can heavily relate to feeling like since you feel so guilty, it must mean you did something wrong. But that is not the truth. You are feeling guilty because you have a terrible disorder, not because you are actually a bad person. That is called emotional reasoning and it’s one of the tricks OCD will use to keep you in the cycle. I’m not trying to reassure you, but people who do bad things are not crying over it. They’re going on with their day. Just remember that none of these thoughts deserve your attention. You don’t need to explain why you are a good person to your OCD. It will always have another trick up it’s sleeve. I really hope things get better for you :(

@andrea_sam730 I wouldn’t * sry auto correct

@andrewt_ Ty so much for saying this this really helped me 💕😓 it feels good to hear something like that when I’ve been stuck in my mind like every single day. And I really hope you continue getting better as well. I’ll be praying for you because you don’t deserve this. You sound like an amazing person. 💕💕

@andrewt_ Hey I just saw your post and wanted to comment to help you out bc I know how scary it is but I think you deleted it so here’s my reply: That's happened to me more times than I can count, and I really understand how overwhelming it can feel. I'm so sorry if this brings any discomfort, but I want to make it clear that this is just OCD doing its thing. This was actually my first experience with something that felt like a false memory, and I can try to explain what happened. I'm not trying to reassure you, just give you some insight into what this feels like. A while ago, I reached for my mom, and suddenly a thought crossed my mind that I might want to touch her inappropriately. It was a random, fleeting thought, but it stuck with me. I tried to focus on something else, but the thought kept coming back. I became terrified that I might accidentally or impulsively act on it, even though I had no intention of doing so. My brain, reacting out of fear, set off an alarm, almost like it was trying to prevent me from doing something wrong, even though there was no actual risk of that happening. What happens next is that the brain becomes hyper-focused on the possibility of acting on the thought, even though it's totally irrational. The thought was so loud and intense that it felt almost like a close call, like I was on the verge of doing something wrong, even though I wasn't. It's a distortion — my brain was so scared I might act on the thought that it made the whole thing feel real and possible. But at no point was I even close to acting on it; it's just that OCD makes it feel like a near-miss. It's like a false alarm that only makes things more stressful than they really are.

@issphra 🫶🏻 I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to write such an in depth comment. It means so much to me, truly ❤️ and I am so sorry you can relate as I know it’s not easy to deal with this kind of stuff. I think OCD targets anything having to do with inappropriate touching because it knows we take the boundaries of other people seriously. But with this situation it almost felt like I thought the thought intentionally. But I think if that’s the case it could be because I gave attention to the thought by telling myself not to think it and I thought it to get rid of the tension in my brain. Idk if I’m making sense 😭 I’m just so terrified that imagining it happening at the last second was me trying to act on it. But you definitely made a lot of great points that I’m gonna try to keep in mind

@andrewt_ I completely agree! I think we’re are especially conscious of respecting boundaries, particularly physical ones. I also understand what you mean about intentionally thinking something that would typically be classified as intrusive. For me, over half of my thoughts feel like I’m actively creating them or generating them myself. It honestly doesn’t make much of a difference, though, because OCD blurs that line. OCD creates a habit of having intrusive thoughts, so even if we consciously generate or brainstorm a thought, it’s still OCD. We live with these distressing thoughts all day, so it’s not hard to come up with something that bothers us. OCD constantly brings these things to our attention, making it easier to create the thought, but it doesn’t mean we want it. Just because we create a thought doesn’t mean we actually want to have it. OCD tricks us into believing that since we’re involved in generating the thought, we’re somehow responsible for it. But it’s still an intrusive thought, it doesn’t matter if we “create” it, because the discomfort and anxiety are still there, making it unwanted. Even if the thought feels like it came from you, it’s still OCD. If it doesn’t resonate with you, feels a little off, or leaves you unsure, it’s likely intrusive or maybe “unwanted” is a better word for it. OCD wants you to believe it’s you, but in reality, it’s just another trick. I hope that gives you some sort of peace ❤️‍🩹

@issphra 🫶🏻 You have no idea how much I needed to hear this, I felt like I was a monster for having that thought, especially during an action. It made me feel so bad. I thought it must mean I snapped at the last second or something which is a big fear I have. Thank you again for taking the time to write such an in depth comment, I appreciate it ❤️ I hope you’re doing okay!!

@andrewt_ Of course, I know how scary it is and I’ve had panic attacks in the Costco bathroom twice last month about this lol. It took me a minute to kinda come to terms with what I shared with you, sometimes I still forget and doubt myself. It’s okay :) you’re not alone. I’m not the best but I’m doing closer to okay than I have been in a few months 😁

@issphra 🫶🏻 I’m so sorry you can relate I know it’s not easy! But I’m so glad to hear it’s gotten a lot easier to accept. I hope you continue making progress and if you ever wanna chat I’m around! Rooting for you 🤍

@nae nae I’m sorry :(

@issphra 🫶🏻 I'm sorry you're dealing with this, too. It's the absolute worst 🫂