i dont know what has been happening to me, ive been visiting a therapist for about 3 months now and i i feel like its been getting so much worse i feel very hopeless and depressed and i feel like im gonna die soon and im scared of doing something stupid to myself and i have an eating disorder and i sometimes feel like very detached from myself and reality and i sometimes feel like everything around me is a lie and im alone in this world and i get so scared, i really dont know what to do im scared and lost and i dont know whats wrong with my brain

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

When suffering with anxiety and panic attacks the one symptom that was the hardest for me above all the other shit symptoms was that sense of de-realisation or de-personalisation. You completely feel like events are happening around you but you're not part of them. Totally detached. Its absolutely God-awful but to the anonymous poster above listen to me when I say you can and will get better. I'm proof. I used to think I was in a kind of Matrix type reality where nothing was real. But th CBT you'll get there. It's not an instant cure but with time and hard bloody graft you'll pull up.

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

I know this wasn't directed at me but I really needed to hear it! I'm glad the de-realisation/de-personalization gets better because that is what I am struggling a lot with right now. It's hard for me to determine the things I should be a part of and want to be a part of but I'm getting help soon! The feeling like you're in a Matrix type of reality is 100% what it's like for me, and I'm so glad you successfully received help for it. Gives me hope!

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

exactly, it really feels like im in a matrix sometimes and i start crying in front of others cause i get so scared of the feeling. thank you for the comment ❤️

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

I was at a concert one evening. Seated beside two friends. At one stage my friend seated to me right said 'excuse me I'm just gping to the loo'. I let him pass and spent the next ten minutes wondering did he just say that, am I thinking this, is this real etc. It's not pleasant. So Emmaaaa you will get better. Not being flippant I'm proof you can. Keep getting help. If you've a toothache you go to the dentist. Break a bone you go to the hospital. Why should your mental health be different. Seek out a professional and stick at it. I've always said to myself if my damn brain is capable of causing this grief it's also capable of defeating it. Stay strong.

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

glad you are better now and thank you so much❤️

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for giving me hope! That's so true about being able to defeat what your brain can create. Just have to keep that in mind!

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

After my very first panic attack which kick started my descent into this crap and eventually led to my OCD diagnosis the 3 things that lodged in my mind were 1. I'm going crazy, 2. What's happening here is completely unique to me and 3. I can't be helped. The avoidance behaviour I started to undertake for years to avoid situations that caused me anxiety were extreme and soon became the norm. I really struggled with numerous symptoms but again the de-realisation was by far the worst. But one night I just had a breakdown and finally a mental health professional called to see me as I think my relatives thought I was in a seriously dark place and could potentially do myself harm. That professional sat me down and just said You are NOT going crazy, this is extremely common and you will get better. Just hearing those words was such a relief and it was the start back up the incline. It's not easy, there are dips and maybe stagnation at times but perseverance, treatment and utter determination will reap dividends. All this from someone who became seriously tempted to do some crazy stuff and/or break the law just to see were there going to be consequences as I wasn't sure things were real around me.

windyseas

Date posted: 5y

You are not alone. This world needs you and this community is here. I am scared too, but the love in this world tells me to fight on. If you cannot feel the love right at this moment, just know that I love you and want you to fight on ❤

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

thank you so much, knowing that im alone makes it feel less stressful. glad you’re doing better❤️

llamaduck

Date posted: 5y

Is your therapist doing erp with you?

its_izzy

Date posted: 24w

I think i need help…..

Idk whats going on…my mental state hasnt been great these past two weeks. My eating is being affected in a neg way due to transition between therapists, school, and ignoring my sexuality….Ive been taking several different kinds of quizzes over the past week regarding mental health and ED and i realized that if i dont eat enough to feel full i’ll end up sick or worse dead. It doesn’t help that i also just started my period. And i just woke up in the middle of the night with food, hydration, and possibly not waking up in mind. And tried going back to sleep but then i realized that I might actually have a problem on my hands and that jolted me awake. Now im scared of sleeping and not making it through the night….i could easily get up and make myself an oatmeal even though im not hungry atm, but dont wanna wake family that are sleeping in the living room. Im scared of dropping more weight than I already have been and having my nutritionist intervene…. Im realizing that im fucking myself up from not eating well and being too picky and i wanna slap a bandaid on it and just eat everything to hopefully gain some weight before my next nutrition appt. I’m just scared of things getting worse….is this part of OCD or is it just me just plain out ignoring my body cos in feeling like it??? Idk what to believe about myself anymore….

kayla.

Date posted: 22w

any advice, thank you.

so since mid december i’ve been feeling like this , well first in mid december I’ve started feeling anxiety like normal, normal as in physical things like feeling like im going to pass out, shaking, chest pain, etc. but then it got worse , then it turned into more of mind stuff like feeling not real , feeling weird like idk. my mind is always runningg like on over drive, like looking back at myself that doesn’t seem like me. like idk. i can’t stand to look at myself anymore bc it doesn’t feel like me. i can’t be alone , when i think about to it makes it sm worse. but how do i stop thinking ab it? or make it better. i’m scared it’s gonna get worse. like i can’t even do my makeup anymore bc i think something bad will happen. i can’t go certain places , like stay the night bc i think something bad is gonna happen.

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w

im scared

my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd

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