i dont know what has been happening to me, ive been visiting a therapist for about 3 months now and i i feel like its been getting so much worse i feel very hopeless and depressed and i feel like im gonna die soon and im scared of doing something stupid to myself and i have an eating disorder and i sometimes feel like very detached from myself and reality and i sometimes feel like everything around me is a lie and im alone in this world and i get so scared, i really dont know what to do im scared and lost and i dont know whats wrong with my brain

Username: ThebocTheboc

Date posted: 5y ago

When suffering with anxiety and panic attacks the one symptom that was the hardest for me above all the other shit symptoms was that sense of de-realisation or de-personalisation. You completely feel like events are happening around you but you're not part of them. Totally detached. Its absolutely God-awful but to the anonymous poster above listen to me when I say you can and will get better. I'm proof. I used to think I was in a kind of Matrix type reality where nothing was real. But th CBT you'll get there. It's not an instant cure but with time and hard bloody graft you'll pull up.

Username: EmmaaaahhEmmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y ago

I know this wasn't directed at me but I really needed to hear it! I'm glad the de-realisation/de-personalization gets better because that is what I am struggling a lot with right now. It's hard for me to determine the things I should be a part of and want to be a part of but I'm getting help soon! The feeling like you're in a Matrix type of reality is 100% what it's like for me, and I'm so glad you successfully received help for it. Gives me hope!

Username: anonymous345anonymous345

Date posted: 5y ago

exactly, it really feels like im in a matrix sometimes and i start crying in front of others cause i get so scared of the feeling. thank you for the comment ❤️

Username: ThebocTheboc

Date posted: 5y ago

I was at a concert one evening. Seated beside two friends. At one stage my friend seated to me right said 'excuse me I'm just gping to the loo'. I let him pass and spent the next ten minutes wondering did he just say that, am I thinking this, is this real etc. It's not pleasant. So Emmaaaa you will get better. Not being flippant I'm proof you can. Keep getting help. If you've a toothache you go to the dentist. Break a bone you go to the hospital. Why should your mental health be different. Seek out a professional and stick at it. I've always said to myself if my damn brain is capable of causing this grief it's also capable of defeating it. Stay strong.

Username: anonymous345anonymous345

Date posted: 5y ago

glad you are better now and thank you so much❤️

Username: EmmaaaahhEmmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y ago

Thank you so much for giving me hope! That's so true about being able to defeat what your brain can create. Just have to keep that in mind!

Username: ThebocTheboc

Date posted: 5y ago

After my very first panic attack which kick started my descent into this crap and eventually led to my OCD diagnosis the 3 things that lodged in my mind were 1. I'm going crazy, 2. What's happening here is completely unique to me and 3. I can't be helped. The avoidance behaviour I started to undertake for years to avoid situations that caused me anxiety were extreme and soon became the norm. I really struggled with numerous symptoms but again the de-realisation was by far the worst. But one night I just had a breakdown and finally a mental health professional called to see me as I think my relatives thought I was in a seriously dark place and could potentially do myself harm. That professional sat me down and just said You are NOT going crazy, this is extremely common and you will get better. Just hearing those words was such a relief and it was the start back up the incline. It's not easy, there are dips and maybe stagnation at times but perseverance, treatment and utter determination will reap dividends. All this from someone who became seriously tempted to do some crazy stuff and/or break the law just to see were there going to be consequences as I wasn't sure things were real around me.

Username: windyseaswindyseas

Date posted: 5y ago

You are not alone. This world needs you and this community is here. I am scared too, but the love in this world tells me to fight on. If you cannot feel the love right at this moment, just know that I love you and want you to fight on ❤

Username: anonymous345anonymous345

Date posted: 5y ago

thank you so much, knowing that im alone makes it feel less stressful. glad you’re doing better❤️

Username: llamaduckllamaduck

Date posted: 5y ago

Is your therapist doing erp with you?

Username: TwylerGuy12

Date posted: 5y ago

I havent been on here in a while and honestly stuff has been getting worse. I legitimately feel like I'm crazy, but sometimes it comes in waves. For a bit I may be feeling fine and then I get an odd feeling and just feel off and the instrusive thoughts start getting worse. These thoughts are literally eating me alive. I love my parents and I would be devastated if anything happened to them, but I feel like I'm the danger and I hate it. I find myself leaving the house as often as I can and when I come back at night I literally get the worse feelings. They already know about this and I've been seeing a doctor about it, but cant get a psychiatrist appointment until jan 22 ?. At this point I dont even consider it ocd I just think I fucked my brain up with drugs.

Username: Uphamia

Date posted: 2y ago

Help

I have never dealt with severe depression like this, I feel really hopeless and scared, I can't imagine a future out of all my mental health issues and I can't imagine being healthy and happy. The last 3/4 years I feel like I've done nothing but avoid things that are challenging and his at home every day because of my mental health and now it's all hitting me so hard that I'm so unhappy with my life and ick how to push through feeling so bad I can't even eat. I don’t even feel like I want to hurt myself but my will to live also feels so low. I hate feeling like I’m so trapped in a mental health cycle that nothing can break it

Username: Taylen

Date posted: 2y ago

im scared, need advice quick.

I’ve been recently struggling so much with the intrusive thoughts and images, it was bad at first but now its worse. I cant even cry anymore. Im questioning myself. am i really crazy? am i really scared if these thoughts? what if i lose my self control? what if i am my intrusive thoughts? what if i don’t feel bad about them? im so scared my life is being taken over im not myself anymore i feel like im going through derealization as well which i’ve struggled with in the past. I haven’t been diagnosed but am almost 100% sure i have harm OCD im talking to a therapist and a doctor to get me on pills. Someone help me please or give me advice i feel so disgusted looking at myself bc i feel like im a sick human. These thoughts are against my family, especially my mom which is the person i love the most in the world. Im only 13 and miss my old self. I regret watching Dahmer so much, which is what initially caused this for the first time. What if im never gonna be the same again. I cant sleep i feel sick even eating. Am i alone on this.

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