i dont know what has been happening to me, ive been visiting a therapist for about 3 months now and i i feel like its been getting so much worse i feel very hopeless and depressed and i feel like im gonna die soon and im scared of doing something stupid to myself and i have an eating disorder and i sometimes feel like very detached from myself and reality and i sometimes feel like everything around me is a lie and im alone in this world and i get so scared, i really dont know what to do im scared and lost and i dont know whats wrong with my brain

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

When suffering with anxiety and panic attacks the one symptom that was the hardest for me above all the other shit symptoms was that sense of de-realisation or de-personalisation. You completely feel like events are happening around you but you're not part of them. Totally detached. Its absolutely God-awful but to the anonymous poster above listen to me when I say you can and will get better. I'm proof. I used to think I was in a kind of Matrix type reality where nothing was real. But th CBT you'll get there. It's not an instant cure but with time and hard bloody graft you'll pull up.

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

I know this wasn't directed at me but I really needed to hear it! I'm glad the de-realisation/de-personalization gets better because that is what I am struggling a lot with right now. It's hard for me to determine the things I should be a part of and want to be a part of but I'm getting help soon! The feeling like you're in a Matrix type of reality is 100% what it's like for me, and I'm so glad you successfully received help for it. Gives me hope!

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

exactly, it really feels like im in a matrix sometimes and i start crying in front of others cause i get so scared of the feeling. thank you for the comment ❤️

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

I was at a concert one evening. Seated beside two friends. At one stage my friend seated to me right said 'excuse me I'm just gping to the loo'. I let him pass and spent the next ten minutes wondering did he just say that, am I thinking this, is this real etc. It's not pleasant. So Emmaaaa you will get better. Not being flippant I'm proof you can. Keep getting help. If you've a toothache you go to the dentist. Break a bone you go to the hospital. Why should your mental health be different. Seek out a professional and stick at it. I've always said to myself if my damn brain is capable of causing this grief it's also capable of defeating it. Stay strong.

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

glad you are better now and thank you so much❤️

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for giving me hope! That's so true about being able to defeat what your brain can create. Just have to keep that in mind!

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

After my very first panic attack which kick started my descent into this crap and eventually led to my OCD diagnosis the 3 things that lodged in my mind were 1. I'm going crazy, 2. What's happening here is completely unique to me and 3. I can't be helped. The avoidance behaviour I started to undertake for years to avoid situations that caused me anxiety were extreme and soon became the norm. I really struggled with numerous symptoms but again the de-realisation was by far the worst. But one night I just had a breakdown and finally a mental health professional called to see me as I think my relatives thought I was in a seriously dark place and could potentially do myself harm. That professional sat me down and just said You are NOT going crazy, this is extremely common and you will get better. Just hearing those words was such a relief and it was the start back up the incline. It's not easy, there are dips and maybe stagnation at times but perseverance, treatment and utter determination will reap dividends. All this from someone who became seriously tempted to do some crazy stuff and/or break the law just to see were there going to be consequences as I wasn't sure things were real around me.

windyseas

Date posted: 5y

You are not alone. This world needs you and this community is here. I am scared too, but the love in this world tells me to fight on. If you cannot feel the love right at this moment, just know that I love you and want you to fight on ❤

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

thank you so much, knowing that im alone makes it feel less stressful. glad you’re doing better❤️

llamaduck

Date posted: 5y

Is your therapist doing erp with you?

catnipppp

Date posted: 25w

existential crisis

Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷‍♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 11w

i’m really worried

so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out

lizzieisanxious

Date posted: 9w

vent,, feeling a bit hopeless

i’m so sorry, this is a bit longer than i anticipated. for the people that struggle with periods on this app, i’ve had irregular ones all my life. the one i’m having now has been going on for almost two and a half weeks, i’m in so much pain, and i’ve bled through pants multiple times a day since i’ve been on it. i went to the gyno earlier this year for my first pap smear and tried talking to her about the problems i had previously faced. it felt like she ignored me and rushed through my appointment. i had to go ahead make another appointment with her because she could see me the soonest (since i was already established with her. every other office i called could only take me starting late june) due to the issues i stated previously. i’m extremely nervous to go because i’m scared she won’t listen to my issues like last time. i’ve also gone to the er a few times trying to figure out what’s wrong, but they all just do a blood test and an ultrasound and tell me to go home. i’m swimming in medical bills that i already can’t pay. on top of that, my ocd is getting to a point of being extremely debilitating. i tried seeing if the app would accept my insurance, but they don’t. even with a payment plan, i absolutely cannot afford to find therapy here. i’ve also tried looking at therapists near me, but it seems like none of them specialize in ocd. i live in a small town, so in a way that’s expected, but it doesn’t help my case. i’ve been feeling incredibly weak due to the blood loss and the lack of therapy. i just need some kind words to help me keep a positive attitude, because it’s been extremely hard to do so as of late.

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