i dont know what has been happening to me, ive been visiting a therapist for about 3 months now and i i feel like its been getting so much worse i feel very hopeless and depressed and i feel like im gonna die soon and im scared of doing something stupid to myself and i have an eating disorder and i sometimes feel like very detached from myself and reality and i sometimes feel like everything around me is a lie and im alone in this world and i get so scared, i really dont know what to do im scared and lost and i dont know whats wrong with my brain

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

When suffering with anxiety and panic attacks the one symptom that was the hardest for me above all the other shit symptoms was that sense of de-realisation or de-personalisation. You completely feel like events are happening around you but you're not part of them. Totally detached. Its absolutely God-awful but to the anonymous poster above listen to me when I say you can and will get better. I'm proof. I used to think I was in a kind of Matrix type reality where nothing was real. But th CBT you'll get there. It's not an instant cure but with time and hard bloody graft you'll pull up.

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

I know this wasn't directed at me but I really needed to hear it! I'm glad the de-realisation/de-personalization gets better because that is what I am struggling a lot with right now. It's hard for me to determine the things I should be a part of and want to be a part of but I'm getting help soon! The feeling like you're in a Matrix type of reality is 100% what it's like for me, and I'm so glad you successfully received help for it. Gives me hope!

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

exactly, it really feels like im in a matrix sometimes and i start crying in front of others cause i get so scared of the feeling. thank you for the comment ❤️

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

I was at a concert one evening. Seated beside two friends. At one stage my friend seated to me right said 'excuse me I'm just gping to the loo'. I let him pass and spent the next ten minutes wondering did he just say that, am I thinking this, is this real etc. It's not pleasant. So Emmaaaa you will get better. Not being flippant I'm proof you can. Keep getting help. If you've a toothache you go to the dentist. Break a bone you go to the hospital. Why should your mental health be different. Seek out a professional and stick at it. I've always said to myself if my damn brain is capable of causing this grief it's also capable of defeating it. Stay strong.

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

glad you are better now and thank you so much❤️

Emmaaaahh

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for giving me hope! That's so true about being able to defeat what your brain can create. Just have to keep that in mind!

Theboc

Date posted: 5y

After my very first panic attack which kick started my descent into this crap and eventually led to my OCD diagnosis the 3 things that lodged in my mind were 1. I'm going crazy, 2. What's happening here is completely unique to me and 3. I can't be helped. The avoidance behaviour I started to undertake for years to avoid situations that caused me anxiety were extreme and soon became the norm. I really struggled with numerous symptoms but again the de-realisation was by far the worst. But one night I just had a breakdown and finally a mental health professional called to see me as I think my relatives thought I was in a seriously dark place and could potentially do myself harm. That professional sat me down and just said You are NOT going crazy, this is extremely common and you will get better. Just hearing those words was such a relief and it was the start back up the incline. It's not easy, there are dips and maybe stagnation at times but perseverance, treatment and utter determination will reap dividends. All this from someone who became seriously tempted to do some crazy stuff and/or break the law just to see were there going to be consequences as I wasn't sure things were real around me.

windyseas

Date posted: 5y

You are not alone. This world needs you and this community is here. I am scared too, but the love in this world tells me to fight on. If you cannot feel the love right at this moment, just know that I love you and want you to fight on ❤

anonymous345

Date posted: 5y

thank you so much, knowing that im alone makes it feel less stressful. glad you’re doing better❤️

llamaduck

Date posted: 5y

Is your therapist doing erp with you?

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 20w

i want to give up

I’ve been going through this rough patch for the last four months, and I can already feel an even worse one coming. I just feel scared. And on top of that, I’m going to stop therapy. After everything with my current therapist, I just don’t have the strength to keep trying anymore. I feel hopeless. My head hurts so much, and it’s hard to keep going when everything feels this bad. I just want to cry, hope this feeling passes, and maybe try again if it ever lets up. But right now, it feels like nothing will ever get better. I don’t feel like I can ask for help. I hate that it took me so long to realize this wasn’t the therapist for me. I was too scared of being dramatic, so I let it go on for far too long, and now I feel like I’ve just become a burden-like. I hate that I let it get to that point, especially when I was paying for this. I just want to give up. I feel broken down, and I don’t even want to be okay anymore.

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 15w

rough few weeks

man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much

Mariabae

Date posted: 12w

i dont understand anything

every one even my therapist is telling me that its not the end of the word if i dont live my bf of two years anymore, that we cant control what we feel and that i should not be so scared of this, that im lying to myself, this is what my family says, my therapust told me other things that pressed on to my fears, making them feel even more real. i cant do this i dont understand anything. My therapist told me that im not supposed to feel disgust when i talk to him when he is touching me, but i feel like this bc of what im thinking, im scared i cant accept the truth vecause i dont want to hurt him and that i put too many expectations on this relationship. Im scared all if this is real. Even my only friend, told me its ok if i dont love him, but its not ok, its not , no one understands.

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