All Hope Is Lost

I don't think I can go on much longer. I'm fully convinced that my false memory is real. My logical brain isn't even putting up a fight anymore. It must be real. When it first came to me, it was like a video in my mind and I believed it. But, I thought to myself "How could I forget doing something like that?" Then I learned about false memories and I had many, many, many realisations that this didn't happen. But now? I just believe it. It's solidified itself in my mind. My brain feels numb. I'm a monster. I don't understand... I remember so much from my past, but this escaped my mind? How didn't I remember? Can OCD totally fabricate an event in the mind that feels like a memory? There's no way? I can't go on anymore. I'm a monster that needs to be put down.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d ago

There's no such thing as a monster. As a human you have value. You can make good and bad choices, but you are too complex to completely write off or mark as totally bad or monstrous. OCD can make things feel extremely real. That's part of the disorder. If it didn't feel real, none of us would struggle. The end goal for someone struggling like you are, is to accept the possibility that it could be true. Not that it is or isn't. But that it could be. You can learn to accept yourself either way.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 3d ago

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to share this advice. It means a lot. 🙏🏻

moon027097

Date posted: 4d ago

this feels like it came directly from my mind. sorry that you're struggling and that there's not much i can say. it sucks. you're not alone. i hope we can get through this ❤️‍🩹🫂

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 3d ago

Thank you, moon. I'm thankful for the support. I hope we can, too. Sending you strength and well wishes 🫂❤️‍🩹

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

Hi. OCD is the bully here. Finding a way to separate from this, allow uncertainty, maybe it did maybe it didn't, you're not responsible for figuring this out, it's only a thought, etc. is very important for you. Once you can step out of this spiral, you can find healing. You are valuable and deserving of love and care. We all are convinced by the OCD bully at time that we are the "worst person ever" (my common thought about myself, thanks to the OCD bully) All hope is not lost.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 3d ago

Thank you so much. Thank you for the kind words, and thank you for the helpful advice. Truly, it means a great deal. I think it's time for me to try to step out of the spiral.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d ago

@‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ It is time, and it's not easy, so help is definitely necessary. Can you talk to an OCD therapist?

LillyX

Date posted: 20w ago

Feeling so down.

I feel so defeated by false memory ocd. The reality of it all hits me so hard , I just feel so hopeless.

False Memory OCD

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 9w ago

False Memory Crisis

I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.

amelia:3

Date posted: 16d ago

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

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All Hope Is Lost

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