Can someone give me any advice on how to get through the hard times when you feel like there is truly no hope at all?

I have had suicidal OCD for over a year now. I just am struggling to fight it tonight. I just have an enormous amount of self doubt and I can’t stop wondering if I’ll ever make it through this or not. My life is great but I just feel miserable every day. Any encouragement helps. Thanks

Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while—about 6 months—but I’m really struggling and need some help or advice. I thought I had healed from all of this, or at least I was doing so much better. I have never felt this before but it feels like I’m slipping back into something I can’t control. Right now, it feels like I’m stuck in a bad reality. It’s like I’m trapped with my dad in one reality, and I’m trying to get back to the other where I’m with my family, but I can’t. It’s so hard to explain, but everything around me feels unreal, and my mind keeps telling me I’m stuck. It feels so real, and I don’t know how to get out of it. It’s like I’ve been transported to another world, and I can’t break free. nd now I’m scared I’ll never come back to the “good” reality I had before. and I genuinely believe this. I’ve been struggling with these thoughts about spiritual realms, the devil, and spiritual warfare. My dad has always talked about these things, and he’s gone through psychosis before. He’s also had a history of doing a lot of drugs, and now I’m terrified that I might end up like him. I fear that I’m somehow becoming like him, trapped in that same mental space he’s been in. He talks about spiritual stuff that scares me, and I can’t shake the thought that I might be losing myself the same way he did. I know this might sound weird, but I feel like I’m getting closer to that line, and I don’t know how to stop it. I keep feeling like I’ll never come back to the way things were, like I’ll always be stuck in this distorted reality. I’m afraid of losing myself, especially in my faith. I believe in God, but my thoughts and fears about all of this are making it hard to feel connected to Him. I feel so distant from God right now, and it’s hard to see how this can change. Has anyone else experienced something like this—feeling like you’re trapped between realities, afraid of becoming someone you don’t want to be, or struggling with fears like this? How did you cope? I just need some hope that I can get through this and come back to a better place. I’m scared, and I feel like I can’t escape this. Any advice would really mean a lot right now.

I’m currently reading existential psychotherapy by Irvin yalom. In his chapter.. “meaninglessness” the first paragraph he describes about a man who ended his life because he truly was overwhelmed with the “meaninglessness of life” and how doing absolutely anything was meaningless because it ended it death. The questions drove him insane and he committed. This was stated in this book and he also stated multiple people did end there life’s during an overwhelming meaning crisis. Please help. If anyone has been through this please reach out. I have stopped going to my nursing shifts. I’ve lost all hope. I believe I’m going through a horrible existential crisis. I’ve suffered from ocd my whole life but I think this might not be existential ocd. I can’t seem to create meaning in my life. I can’t seem to live without us having an inherent meaning. No answers or anything is helping. I’m really struggling. Please.