Masterbation OCD/real event OCD

I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that

lifeisreality

Date posted: 18w

(Good. we’re all just trying to live our lives one way or another. Even if it means harming people on accident. Just live your life and the ones that know you will keep you around. I only just discovered some dark past to say the least.)

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

Wdym?

Rhileyyy

Date posted: 18w

Bro 😂 it’s ok man, I’m 19 and I watch everything that turns me on. A lot of us “horndogs” as people call it just want to release the load. 😭 like there’s animes with little anime girls I’m not talking about like babies toddlers or anything younger then 14.. ig? Anyway my point is just don’t go out in real life and do this, Yk? Just watch what you want and if it helps it helps but don’t let it effect you. masterbating is to soothe you not stress you out.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

It's just I thought the character was 16 it was stated that the character was 16 physically around my age but actual age was younger that's why I'm hung up and feel terrible about it

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

I really need help man I get it fictional but still I feel terrible

Rhileyyy

Date posted: 18w

@Anonymous So there’s a few things you can do; 1. You can watch porn with older people in it. 2. Don’t check the age. Now there’s nothing you can do to fix what already happened, it’s not in your control right? It’s the past. The best way to get over it is try to find something positive about it, think to yourself be like well I didn’t know, I could’ve been more cautious about it and checked before watching the video, so now I’ve learned to do that before watching a video. I didn’t know she was younger then what she was supposed to be, but it was just a video and I know it’s bothering me but it already happened and that’s ok because I didn’t know. It’s called my negative-positive effect and you really should try it. Turn your negativity into something positive there’s always ways to come to peace with something no matter what.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

@Rhileyyy You're right but also at the same time looking back then I'm trying to remember my intentions of why I was looking at the stuff idk how to cope with it yk

Rhileyyy

Date posted: 18w

@Anonymous What were your intentions? Did you want to watch it?

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

@Rhileyyy I think I was looking at it I feel ashamed I'm trying to think tho why

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Thinking u did something u not sure if u did

Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

OCD overwhelming thoughts during masterbation

Guys I just wanted to hang up and I was looking at pornography every time I was you know do it and I would get bombarded with thoughts I'd get overwhelmed with them like my mind is just constantly thinking of and it was just so hard infuriating I was looking at like anime pornography and Isaw one of the videos that looks familiar I watched it before but I remember they had like a underage anime character and then I clicked off it as soon as I saw them and my mom said oh you clicked it just so you can see that and what makes it worse is like pretty ejaculation already leaked out so now it feels like I did it i didn't even jerk off to you all I did was see the thumbnail and then I have thoughts like saying oh well might as well already get off to it when it wasnt the content I wanted to see I seen that the thumbnail before in the sight I just ignored it was focusing on the video I wanted to see for now I feel like i have to restart everything not only with the overwhelming thoughts but also my thoughts made it feel like I was actively seeking it like if I want my thought it was like oh you knew it was going to be there but u still click it anyway oh yes I had a feeling but as soon as I saw it I clicked off I don't know I'm just overthinking I guess and also like as soon as I saw it like my mind had a urge like might aswell get off to it finish it very hard I don't even remember how I climaxed I don't even know if I did it right but now I feel like I have to restart

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Masterbation OCD/real event OCD

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