Not sure how much of these thoughts I can take, I feel like everyday I'm getting closer and closer to insanity. I can't get the thoughts out, I can't see a reason to live, I can't do anything. I just hide in my room because of this monster I think I am, and feel like I shouldn't be allowed outdoors. I don't wanna die but this pain won't go away. I hope one day it gets better.

Hang in there mate. Keep asking for help. Call a friend or a helpline. There are professionals who can help. People on this app care about you and feel your pain even though we don't know you.

Thanks mate. All the best.

Some days are worse than others. Try doing something that makes you happy and gets the focus away from the negative thoughts. Watch an uplifting or funny movie or something on YouTube. Don't dwell on the thoughts. You're going through a rough time right now, but it can only get better and it will?☀️

Xbox has been helping a lot lately and got a few friends I can talk to on there which can help, but sometimes one thing can be said and it'll stick with me for ages, so I can avoid any socialising. Watching movies and stuff makes me feel more down, as I see families and I constantly tell myself I won't have my own family one day. There's just a lot of random stuff going on in my head at the moment, and I really need my first initial appointment with an ocd specialist to hurry up. It's on the 20th and I'm just waiting for that really. Thank you both for your kind words. All the best.

I get it :) Keep doing what makes you feel better. It's great you got an appt. with an ocd specialist! That's something to look forward to and a huge step in the right direction. Wish you the best, stay positive :)

Just remember OCD is the monster not you. You are a good person. Don't feel guilty about your thoughts. You will get better. There is amazing treatment out there. Be honest with your specialist. Believe me I had the most disgusting thoughts and my therapist didn't blink an eye and just said that's normal in OCD. But definitely try and distract yourself with humorous videos or movies. Don't feel guilty about not getting out of bed. Who are people to judge? Hope you feel better soon

Thanks everyone for replying, means a lot. It feels better knowing I'm not the only one with these issues as a lot of people I've told don't seem to understand it. Been keeping myself busy and the meds do help. Hope you are all doing well too and good luck with everything in the future.