Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

I can certainly relate, my main theme is exactly this and it's always the past events that are embarrassing, shameful, etc. For me, it's about forgiveness and grace. Giving myself grace to not be perfect, forgiving others, seeking forgiveness from others if necessary and possible, and forgiving myself.

@Someone99 I need help I feel terrible still I need help idk how to move forward

@Anonymous It isn't easy. But you're not alone in this.

@Someone99 Idk how I can forgive myself for doing weird things it's hard

@Anonymous It is. You have to take appropriate responsibility for your actions otherwise you won't grow.

@Anonymous But you gotta respond correctly to the ruminating, it's a compulsion

@Someone99 I awknowledge it I've done weird things but I don't know can't forgive myself if he was like I want to though it's hard

@Anonymous Did you harm someone else?

@Someone99 No but it's more metal thing I had a huge addiction to pornography and I masterbated to weird things

@Anonymous Please don't feel obligated to answer that. Let me ask you this, do you believe God can forgive you?

@Someone99 I do but it's hard

@Anonymous I'm not saying it's easy. Didn't ask you if it's easy. It's taking me years in some situations. What I've learned is that "forgiving self" is actually a matter of faith. In reality, we can't forgive ourselves, we're not required to forgive ourselves. God wants us to come to Him for forgiveness. When we receive God's forgiveness, which is by faith, we can then experience forgiveness and healing. If we say "I can't forgive myself" it's actually telling God, "nah, I don't want your forgiveness". When I realized that, it was a big step in my healing process.

@Someone99 I just wanna wipe sway the awful weird things I did I feel like I can't enjoy the the things I like anymore I feel like I tainted it

@Anonymous I think maybe you've been covering it up too long? Whatever it is. You may need to reopen the wound in order for real healing to take place.

@Someone99 How so also do u think God will let me try again clean me of my sin to start over.

@Anonymous My favorite verse in the Bible is 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". So we're both forgiven and cleansed, spiritually. Meaning we will be in heaven after death, through Jesus, of course. However... there are real consequences that won't be erased here on earth. We can't avoid that.

@Anonymous You can have a new beginning in Jesus

@Someone99 I want my passed deeds to be non existence through god

@Someone99 Yes I want too

@Anonymous You can receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior any time, just ask.

@Someone99 Will do but it's like real event past event it still burts me disturbs me

@Anonymous It's difficult to work through this with you when I don't have much of an idea what's going on, my friend

@Someone99 Basically I had a bad porn addiction with OCD I feel like I can't get out of feel like I intensely think of family members and friends I don't know what to do I feel insane also I pleasured myself to weird things back then and now I can't find joy in said things I'm 17 years old and I don't know what to do I'm always searching for help I want to do what's right but I can't stop and it's just hurting me I want help and I need help it's just I feel very overwhelmed I don't know what to do

@Someone99 I need help

@Anonymous I understand. I had a severe porn addiction for many years. I know the darkness you're experiencing. This is a challenge because you're 17, technically a minor. Step 1, get rid of all of the sources of the porn. Install blockers and accountability apps on your phone and computers.

@Anonymous I went through a really excellent program to get free from the bondage. Are you in the U.S? What state?

@Anonymous Sorry it took so long to reply, I'm currently at work.

@Someone99 Its okay I have therapy tomorrow I hope it goes well but man I just wanna be free

@Anonymous I know the feeling. I'm glad you're talking with someone.

@Someone99 It wasn't a psychologist it was a psychiatrist I couldn't be as open I hate that because they said they'd tell my guardian I want to let everything out and be open with someone it sucks I can't I have to wait months.

@Anonymous Yeah. How can I help. I'm struggling with answering that. It's important to let light shine on it, because porn addiction lives in darkness.

@Someone99 I asked for forgiveness for God you think maybe I could get a prayer from you

@Anonymous Absolutely! Something at the core of Christian belief, Jesus' death on the cross was payment for our sins. His resurrection proved He is who He claimed to be. It's about eternity. Sin cannot enter heaven. So, if you believe and receive what Jesus did as payment for your sins, you are a child of God and when you pass away someday, God will see you clean and without sin, and you're guaranteed heaven, forever.

@Anonymous But life on earth remains difficult. God promises to be with His children through anything while we're here

@Someone99 Ty so much I'll try to be better leave this behind and find joy in things I loves once

@Someone99 I have been forgiven for my sin and regretted I have been forgiven the things I once enjoyed no longer tainted

@Anonymous It's going to take time to break free from the porn addiction

@Someone99 Yeah I'm just not gonna do it anymore imma be happy now on

@Anonymous Good!

@Someone99 I just want to find Joy in things I love again

@Anonymous You can and will. It'll take time

@Someone99 I need to forgive my past and move forward

@Someone99 I did bad weird things in my past but I will prevail

@Anonymous Yes indeed.

Im trying but it's hard

@Anonymous I wish I had something more helpful to share, you’re not alone though, keep trying

@thissuckbad Feel like I've done horrible things and I don't know if you my mind make it feel like they are

@thissuckbad From what I told idk what do u think about it