Isolated

I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.

Julian2006

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

I can’t say that I know how your mother would react, but I can confidently say that parents will do anything for their kid, and will do anything to understand them. When I opened up to my parents about my fears and trauma, I’ve never felt so loved and seen before in my life. Finally, they knew why I was in bed shaking and crying, and why I avoided children like the plague. And you know what? Even with a fear as taboo as that, they saw past it. Saw past the trauma I experienced, and the horrific environment I was influenced into by adults. Parents will do anything to make you feel understood. And I think your mother would be no different. It’s going to be tough opening up about it, I know it hurt like hell to tell my parents about it, but in the end, it’s for the best, and your mom can help you create a plan to get out of everything! Mama knows best, after all! You got this!

moon0270

Date posted: 15w

aw thank you so much for this 😭😭 im so sorry that you experienced this too but i am so so happy that your parents understood and saw your struggles. im super scared because i struggle with POCD too. the crazy thing is, i know my mother loves me terribly. she always says she would do anything for me and i know the sacrifices she's made for me which only proves how deeply she cares for me. but i guess there's this doubt in my head (probably OCD's petty voice) telling me that there's a limitation to her love and that if i tell her, she'll see as dirty or corrupted and think of herself as a failure for loving someone like me. i know that that's just in my head. but it's super scary. but it also hurts not being able to tell her. im trying to open up more to her but this subject just feels like a line im struggling to cross. thank you so much for your comment 💗 i hope that opening up to your parents has helped you in your struggles. i truly do feel a little more seen reading this 🤍

Julian2006

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

@moon027097 No problem! I’m happy to help, it’s terrifying. Probably one of the most terrifying things you’ll ever experience in your life! But your mother knows you never hurt anybody and won’t stand to see someone get hurt! At the end of the day, that’s all that matters! She’ll understand! You got this! We’re all here for you!

nae nae

Date posted: 15w

Yeah, it's hard to articulate every feeling living with OCD kicks up :( They understand on some level that it's distressing, but it's more than that. It's bone-deep, it's debilitating, and it can feel inescapable. I've tried explaining to my mom before, and she understands to some degree, but she thinks I'm just not grounded enough. She'll tell me I just need to get out of my head, but how? How do you do that? Like...? 😭 We can't just turn off my thoughts, and out loud, most of them sound ridiculous, but they feel SO real to us. But I agree with everything the other comment said. Even if your mom doesn't fully understand, she'll still want to be there to support you through all of it. That's how parents are! No matter how old you are, you'll always be their baby. And I'm sure it'll feel like an extra weight off of your shoulders, too! 🫂🩷

moon0270

Date posted: 15w

you really described it perfectly, it really is bone-deep :( yeah, my mom knows i've always struggled with anxiety and depression/mental health in general. but she thinks it's just that and because i can't switch off. but like you said, how does one even do that lol i hope that i can tell her one day. maybe i'll do so after my visit to the psychiatrist. thank you so much for always being so kind and helpful 🫶🏽

Anxiousashley

Date posted: 20w

No one understands

No one understands what I’m going through. My husband used to be my biggest supporter but not we’re separated and I try to explain to my parents why I’m upset when I have panic attacks but they don’t get it. For Example: This morning I told my mom I was having a panic attack. And she just kept asking “why? What’s wrong? U were so happy yesterday. When I said, I didn’t know I just was having this panic attack. She did not understand one bit. She just kept asking me why why why? And I’m like I don’t know. 😭 it makes me just wanna stay away from everyone and just isolate because people don’t understand. I know it’s not their fault. I’m actually glad they don’t understand because that means they’re not going through the pain I’m going through.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 13w

Rant...

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

ocdrecovery198

Date posted: 8w

Feeling alone with OCD

Sometimes I feel like nobody really gets me. Nobody knows what’s going on in my head. I try to explain in vivid detail, but my ocd immediately reads the other persons face and registers that they don’t get it. It’s a very isolating experience. Anyone else have something like this?

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