Em2003

Date posted: 14w

Pls input, I haven’t panicked this hard in months

My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 14w

That doesn’t make it any easy I wish I could take away all this pain and ideas from our brains and mind :((

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 14w

Don’t worry, I think it’s normal that people would look ? Or idk but some don’t think much of it, but us we have a condition that makes us question everything and makes us think that we did it with an intention when in reality it’s not.. and I know it doesn’t make it any easy nor it takes it away. But I can tell you that I understand what you mean

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

@Vagogogo Exactly this! 👏💯 Great advice :)

Em2003

Date posted: 14w

@Vagogogo Thank you, I definitely feel like I’m questioning absolutely everything and my original intentions got lost fully and now I’m stuck with monstrous explanations. Thank you for replying 🤍

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

I think it’s pretty natural that your eyes go to things that you normally don’t see everyday. Normal curiosity. For example- if there was someone completely nude walking down the street, 100% guaranteed that everyone and their momma would be looking lol 😂 But OCD also lovesss to latch onto things like this though. I’ve heard so many times that ppl have distressing obsessions about looking at ppl’s crotches and their ocd days “well what does this mean about me? Oh no I looked at my dad a certain way. Am I attracted to my dad? Oh no I looked at this lady a certain way and idk her age so does this make me a p*, etc.” Perhaps try to make it funny! If you’re not laughing, you’re crying. How about the nickname “Crotch watcher?” Has a nice ring to it haha. It could help you to add humor to these Ocd thoughts 😄

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 14w

@OneDayAtATimee Or ockaren watcher ready to get in nothing that it’s not her business!!

Em2003

Date posted: 14w

@OneDayAtATimee This is really helpful thank you so much. I think what really gets me is that it feels like I’m *trying* to get a glimpse of more. It almost feels like I’m hoping and that terrifies me because even if it’s curiosity, I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way you know?

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 14w

@Em2003 It happens to me !! And my ocd subtypes all the time, if there’s a knife I try to look at the knife just to answer to myself “ see i don’t care “ but it turns out to cause more distress in me. Or when I see anything literally with every single thing :((( I also sometimes feel terrible that why it immediately my eyes do that

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

@Em2003 Yeah totally understandable! 👍 It’s normal to be curious but it doesn’t make it much easier on us to understand that when sadly our feelings are so complex and Ocd is also so complex. But try to be easy on yourself that you are human ❤️‍🩹 These things happen. And be prepared that Ocd is going to attack you about this and make you doubt yourself. Try to view these doubts, intrusive feelings, urges, and thoughts- as just another medical symptom of this disorder 👍

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 14w

@Vagogogo Yooo I do this! I also hold my breath when looking at something triggering idk why but the catching a glimpse of triggering harm object or person and then me telling myself "see? I dont want to" is something i do a lotttt

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 14w

@OneDayAtATimee You give good advice, and I’m happy someone replied to this post bc I bookmarked it! I wanted to ask if you think the “hope” to see more is part of the natural curiosity? Or if maybe you think that’s part of OCD’s distortion. For me, it feels too real and too like me for it to be a distortion, but I don’t know if this is natural or okay for curiosity. I borderline feel perverted. I relate to this post a lot.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

@issphra 🫶🏻 Aw thank you I’m so glad I could help you! 🥳🫶 For your question- I think it could definitely be a bit of both! Both natural curiosity and Ocd latching on. I’ve experienced that before. Ocd definitely makes us fixated on that curiosity and Ocd heightens it to a 10 😅 Ocd makes that our every waking thought and it’s so annoying haha. Ocd can even also bring that up into our dreams, which can be distressing for a lot of people

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 14w

@OneDayAtATimee Thank you for your perspective 🤍 I sincerely appreciate you :)

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

@issphra 🫶🏻 You’re so welcome, thank you!! I appreciate you as well, friend 😇🙏

Annagrace1!

Date posted: 14w

I think I do it too and now im feeling like what else do I do like this??

anonymous2580

Date posted: 25w

Remembering things from my childhood

(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.

Em2003

Date posted: 22w

I really really need input

Sometimes I catch myself looking at people, specifically men, a little too intently. I feel like I do it to seem prettier or more attractive, but I also think kinda enjoy seeing how they get flustered, I’m not sure. Even though it never goes beyond that, I still feel like I have cheated on my boyfriend, or at the very least, that I am being disrespectful to him. I feel like I’m almost flirting. I don’t know if this is some sort of distortion and or if this is normal. I’m really freaking out to the point where I’m nauseated. Please help. I can’t stop panicking.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 21w

Read pls

I feel so ridiculous saying this. Has anyone struggled with looking down a people’s private areas since having ocd. I hate it, but feel I have to look or find myself just looking. I feel so guilty after and especially when it’s a women I kinda shudder after like why did I just do that. Ugh I hate this. I never used to have this issue but now I’m focusing on it my anxiety is going crazy with it . If people have experienced, how did you get over this??? My sexual orientation is thriving off this . I hate it

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Pls input, I haven’t panicked this hard in months

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