Please help me POCD

PLEASE HELP ANY ANSWER WILL DO So I moved to a big city a few months earlier and it was summer, so it was hot. I slept with my window and balcony door open for air. One night, whilst i was trying to sleep, i heard what seemed to be a woman m*aning at times. At first it was annoying and was like omg stfu but it's embarrassing but soon I felt a bit aroused by it. Then, so many months later, I got a thought, what if it wasn't a woman but a child crying? And I got so terrified and I began trying to remember the memory again to remember exactly what I heard, then began looking on youtube what children sound like when they cry to make sure it wasn't what I heard. I'm absolutely terrified. I can't even check to make sure. I need help

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 14w

The fear you're describing, especially the urgent need to analyze the past and find certainty, sounds overwhelming. This pattern of intrusive thoughts, followed by intense efforts to neutralize them or check their validity, is very common in OCD and can create a distressing cycle. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here's a helpful resource: https://www.treatmyocd.com/my-ocd-journey/living-life-by-my-values

anonymousgg

Date posted: 14w

thank you<3

GreenTurtle098

Date posted: 14w

@Leah Dronson Can I ask for some support please? 18+? On Pocd if that’s okay? 👍

Drew777

Date posted: 14w

Hi Connie. I personally wouldn't recommend continuing to look into researching about your intrusive thoughts or obsessions. The more you research it, the more uncertain you will feel because you will never fully be able to satisfy your OCD regarding this issue. You're just feeding into your OCD and giving it strength the more you entertain the compulsions and intrusive thoughts it brings your way. You should sit with the uncertainty and anxiety, accepting that maybe it was a child crying, or maybe it wasn't. You don't know. The more you sit with it, without ruminating on it, the more you'll start to feel better over time. I hope this was helpful. I hope you have a blessed day. Also, this is random, but do you have any other resources or communities aside from NOCD to help you in dealing with your OCD?

anonymousgg

Date posted: 14w

i have a great therapist, but im just so terrified of erp. i try so hard to do it, but i just can't sit with the uncertainty that i may be a p***, or enjoy grape or any of these nasty things my brain tells me, it's so tiring and i wish there was another cure

Drew777

Date posted: 14w

@Connie Byers I'm glad you have a great therapist. ERP is difficult to do though. I honestly don't currently do ERP myself, but I used to. It honestly never really helped me a whole lot personally, though. I wish there was a cure for OCD too, but it does get easier over time, and we can start to have peace. I have peace when I go to God with my anxiety. It's also nice to have friends that you can go to about the struggles you face too. Speaking of having friends, if you'd be interested in having another place to chat with some people with OCD, I myself am in a group chat on GroupMe with about 20 other people from the NOCD app. There are about 8 to 10 of us who are more regularly active in the group chat. Just let me know if you'd be interested and I could get you connected to the group. :)

lissamls

Date posted: 14w

pocd? help

i've been very sad these days, i saw a child on TikTok and i had thoughts calling her hot, it seemed like i liked it and i was very anxious and very scared. i cried a lot, i kept replaying the video several times because it seemed like i was attracted to her and only when i was sure that I wasn't attracted to her i skip the video. but then i went to watch the videos of this kid again to see if i was really attracted or not again and i got nervous about being attracted to her "chest" and i kept looking to see if I was really attracted or not 😭 i wasn't, but one thought scared me a lot, which was "you were only attracted because it looked like an adult's chest." i was very nervous, i cried a lot because of this. I'm not attracted to children, I never have been, why does it seem like i am? i don't want to look at children anymore, im too nervous. i'm not attracted to her, all of this makes me sick and sad, it's all very uncomfortable and scary. but I've been questioning myself a lot about the last thought, i can't stop questioning myself. every time i see a child my brain asks if i'm attracted to them or if i think they're pretty. i can't stop crying (sorry for any mistakes I'm using a translator)

emma345

Date posted: 7w

POCD event HELP

Terrifying thing happened 17f I work at the restaurant and my boss said that I need to clean the bathroom I heard some childlike voice nearby and I couldn't open the bathroom door easily so I got scared that a child is in here But my boss insisted that it's not occupied so i had to open it my boss was looking at me and I was supposed to clean so I opened it I was scared but I still did it It wasn't occupied BUT why did I open it?? What if there was a child there??? And there is already a chanse that I'm a P, how could I do that if I know there was a chanse I'm a P I just didn't know what to do my boss was looking at me I had to do what he said but now I'm a monster

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 7w

So distressed plz help :( 18+

*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔

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