Givenup

Date posted: 9w

More triggered now than ever

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s3xual HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all... Im so triggered please someone help me...

vans.hans

Date posted: 9w

firstly, take a breather & calm down. it’s okay and you’re okay. alright ? youre not a bad person for who you support, you just need to be correctly fully informed of who a person is before deciding to support them. secondly, you are not your thoughts. remember that, ocd tries to convince you of things that aren’t true, it feels like your mind is turning against you & it makes you feel hopeless, i understand. refrain from seeking validation from any minors as it can be used against you in a negative way that you don’t want , i know its hard to control but know that you may unintentionally scare someone and they might have a bad reactions, please remember that younger people are not fully aware nor able to understand your feelings or thoughts so seeking validation from them isn’t going to make you feel any better since there is different levels of understandings that they arent capable of having yet since their brains arent fully matured yet. some may understand but most will not so i suggest you try seek validation from others 21+ if validation is what you’re looking for. if anyone ever states they are uncomfortable, fall back immediately please. it doesnt mean youre a bad person or will be, it just means they aren’t comfortable with the topic which is okay, it is normal to be uncomfortable in certain situations like this especially for a young female. you are not a P unless you’ve physically acted on it. your intrusive bad thoughts are just tricks the brain plays on you. it’s not real okay? youre just scared and thats alright , take it easy, don’t feed into it. you’re going to be okay & you will get through this. sending you lots of love & hugs 💕

Idontknow

Date posted: 9w

@vans.hans Exactly, physically acted!!

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@vans.hans Thank you so much for the kind words... gave your account a follow...

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@vans.hans I made a part 2 to all of this in another post... I just posted it now... ive been so so triggered

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@vans.hans May you help me with my part 2 post...?

vans.hans

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup you’re welcome, i’m open to talking if you’d like. i’m not a therapist or anything related but i struggle with anxiety and ocd so i understand the strange intrusive thoughts & i’m here to tell you that you being worried about being a P sets you aside, P’s don’t feel guilt nor shame. the ocd will make you think you are something that you really arent in real life & it’s a tough battle because it’s you against your mind. keep fighting against it but remember to be kind with yourself. you aren’t alone and you aren’t a bad person just because of some bad thoughts and mistakes of speaking to people you thought would understand. it was a mistake to speak to minors about it , i would say don’t ever make that mistake again cause you never know how someone else would take it. it doesnt mean to be scared, it’s just a precaution you must be aware of to protect yourself in this time of this state of your mind. remember , just because your brain is thinking some things against your actual beliefs, doesn’t mean it’s true.

vans.hans

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup i’m going to read it right now! see you there

vans.hans

Date posted: 9w

i’m new here like very new as in i just downloaded the app less than an hour ago so i’m not sure how to find your other post , can you tell me how ?

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@vans.hans What if you did something so extremely awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 14... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14 because someone told me what these real events were before... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... these real events were so extremely horrible and awful... i g4g and v0mit even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious...

Idontknow

Date posted: 9w

Have you spoken to a therapist about this? How do you cope?

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@Idontknow I dont cope at all...

Idontknow

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup Wow, you’re very resilient

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@Idontknow Im not... I just rely on peoples kind words and reassurance to keep me going... i dont have any hope in me left... especially because people have blocked me on here when they have similar subtypes of OCD...

Idontknow

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup I understand, people have blocked me too it makes me feel worse than them like I don’t belong here or something

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@Idontknow I just dont want to be a bad person... but when people condemn me and say im a bad person or anything similar to that... then I feel like theres no where for me to go...

Idontknow

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup I understand. Do you have a therapist who specializes in OCD? I've been in a similar situation, I was 20 and he was 15. I told my psychiatrist about it, and she agreed that while it was a mistake, nothing illegal happened. You didn’t do anything illegal, people can be harmful online too that’s why I only talk to doctors about these things

Givenup

Date posted: 10w

Please someone help me...

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all!!!! Im so triggered please someone help me!!!

Givenup

Date posted: 10w

Pocd and youtubers

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all...

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

Please help me... anyone...

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