Existential ocd theme

I'm very familiar with this feeling and this line of thinking. These existential questions can feel very overwhelming because they are essentially inescapable. There's literally nowhere to hide from existence itself! There's a reason that things like mindfulness and "staying present" come up so often when talking about OCD or anxiety in general. That's because the present moment is really all we ever have. The past isn't coming back, and the future, by definition, is never here (because if it were here, it would be the present!). Existential thoughts like, "what's the point?" are based on the future. It's the mind jumping ahead to end of the movie rather than enjoying the movie itself. Everyone struggles with questions like this, but for people with OCD, it's especially debilitating because we truly feel like we HAVE to find an answer in order to move on. It's like everything in life grinds to a halt until we can solve the nature of reality and the meaning of life. But that's simply not true; you don't have to find an answer. You say that you currently have "zero peace." They may be true, but I want you to notice exactly what is preventing you from feeling peaceful. Is it *really* the fact that you don't know the point of life that is robbing you of peace? Or is it the fact that you think about the question so much? When you don't feel peaceful, what is actually happening in the moment? Where is your attention? Are you fully present with what is around you, or are you stuck up in your mind? When the thoughts about pointlessness arise, what would happen if you didn't resist them? What if you respond to them with, "maybe that's true, maybe it isn't"? How would it feel to respond like that? I challenge you to put that to the test, and to make note of what you feel in the moment, even if it's uncomfortable. I also challenge you to make note of any time you feel anything positive at all. Maybe it's just the pleasant scent of flowers, a brief summer breeze, or the memory of something fun you did. Whether that positive feeling lasts for an hour or only 3 seconds, just make note of it while noticing how you physically feel. If you aren't already familiar with ERP therapy, take a look at the strategies used in it. Remember, your problem isn't the existential questions, it's the reaction to them. You may not know if there's a point to life, AND you can live a peaceful life. Those two things can be true at the same time.

I suffered existential OCD for a very long time in the midst of my son being a toddler. It was so difficult. I’m on the other side of this theme now, but I do remember when it came to a point that I was thinking “everything is pointless” With a lot of commitment and self compassion I realized being a human and experiencing joy and sadness might not have a POINT, but we are here and the human experience is worth showing up for even when it gets hard or numb. Keep fighting 🩷 connect with your body and nature through walking, hikes, yoga, etc. I journal positive made up scenarios in great detail and it has helped immensely. Feel better soon!