- Username
- hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey, I battle HOCD as well and other small ocd forms from time to time, HOCD seems to have the strongest grip. I am 25 and ready to go chase my dreams of family, wife kids, etc. that I have always had a strong feeling for. 2 years ago I began tackling my ocd and went and saw a specialist to assist me. Looking back, I have come so far it’s unreal. Unfortunately, my girlfriend of 5 years and I just decided to go our separate ways so you can imagine where my HOCD has taken me lately. Just remember though, we are not our OCD. Your values, feelings, emotions, goals etc all that stuff is separate from our OCD brain. I want to explain it and not reassure you if that makes sense. The OCD community is very unique. We have a blessing and a curse when it comes down to brain chemistry. Like me two years ago, I was so in debt to the curse side. Now, I’ve tapped into the blessing side for a bit and have seen how nice that is and how much I can do when my OCD brain is calmed down. Also remember that OCD will latch on to anything you care about. I’m not going to tell you to fight it and not allow it to latch on because whether you like it or not it will. What I will advise is to get better at letting it latch on and not put emphasis on that process. When you do this consistently, the thoughts will die down and lose significance. I know from personal experience. When you get good at living life alongside OCD, it weakens. It’s like oh shoot, you’re cool with us being here? Well that’s not good. Haha. Seriously though, that’s basically the big picture. Things will get better and easier as time goes on and your goals will be reached, if you put in the work✊??
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks for this motivating message! I totally get what ur saying, i cant lie, the more i just keep doing my thing and live my life, the more im okay with it being around and it gets a bt easier. The hard part for me is realising that i dont actually enjoy the things i do because hocd has taken a lot of joy away from things. It also made me quit numb. So its hard to accept that things couldve been more fun and comfortable if hocd wasnt around. Its also hard to accept the loss of attraction and the fact that it makes me anxious quit a lot. I used to live in like this dreamy world where i enjoyed all the little things life gave me and i truly felt blessed and happy. Now i find it very hard to live in the moment and it really makes me miss all the magic life used to give. Im really afraid i will never feel that magic again. i do have enough strenght in me to keep going, its just less fun when im not myself but u know i got this. So the fact that u say that if you do that it will get better is for me so motivating and it gives me hope! There are so many people who said they had this for like 20 years and oof that frightens me. So we hocd sufferers need people like you to learn we can get better. Thanks for the comments :)
- Username
- Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Exactly, stay positive. And I can tell, you have very strong feelings about your future. So, you know where I am going with this, OCD is going to root itself in any way possibly to question that fact or scare you that it won’t happen. So, practice putting less emphasis on future future future. Obviously you know your goals physically and emotionally, keep it close to your heart and try to expose yourself to worst case scenario situations to weaken the pressure OCD can create. Your statements just showed or proved the difference between OCD and you and how they are separate entities
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Truly wise and helpful advice!
- Username
- Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ummm love yourself first and go therapy. What do you mean your personality split?
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Lol i get it but i mean therapy i just cant. Im 17... so i have like 3 years To fall in love but i gotta get started soon hahaha but its just not in it. At all because of hocd. I think the recovery takes like 3 years or something maybe more but i dont have money and i aint never telling my parents bout my hocd.
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hocdgirlsummer Also my personality split because of hocd. This shit ruined me deeeply. Idk who i al anymore, i had a whole personality and dreams and passions bt i got depressed so all that flushed down the drain
- Username
- Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hocdgirlsummer I feel like I’m annoying people more cause I’m depressed
- Username
- Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hocdgirlsummer If I was happy I probably would think more positive and I think my personality is just annoying or boring, you feel the same?
- Username
- Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hocdgirlsummer I told my mummy about my hocd she said don’t worry about it but she ain’t getting it, at least she didn’t call me gay or fag. At least she listened to my problem, and I said it out aloud so I don’t have to hold my hocd in
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Peridottttt I feel u me too. I keep on rembling about it to everyone bevause its like big main thing happening in my life. And i feel so annoying and people around me say theyre depressed too but once i start about it they cant relate or theyre like stop whining and ughhh
- Username
- Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@hocdgirlsummer And really that... but I menat like my personality is becoming boring and annoying since I keep saying same topics over and over and not have excitement when I’m talking so no one pays attention. Can you relate?
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Peridottttt Yeah definitely
- Username
- Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel you. I’ve been with my bf for almost a year and before hocd a couple months ago I was so ready to move in with him. But now I’m so terrified. I’m 24 and it feels like everything was going so great and I was right where I was suppose to be in life and ready to be with him forever and now I’m just so scared of the future and what will happen. If I’ll leave him for a girl or something. I hate it. I want to tackle this before I move in with him so I’m not so worried and depressed ? I’m so terrified of things falling apart and failing. My dreams and everything I envisioned and wanted in life are so blurred and it’s so scary. I hope the best for you! I hope we can overcome this and get what we wanted before stupid hocd came along and attacked us
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I hope the best for you too! This sounds heartbreaking because i can feel the pain, when ur happy and feel like ur in the right place it must be soo hard to have it being broken my something like this. I hope it will pass and that soon you get your old life and mentality back❤️
- Username
- Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y ago
??
Related posts
- Username
- anotherocd123
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
- Username
- anonymousN
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Will I ever be a girl again ? Is this just my life now ? At this point it’s just making me depressed. I feel idk who I am anymore and the person thought I was is fading completely. It hurts to see other pretty girl doing great in life like that’s what I wanted . I wanted to be a pretty girl who loved her self and did good in life . I want a husband, baby all of that shit . And I feel like this just holds me back from living up to my true potential.
- Username
- hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...
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