hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, I battle HOCD as well and other small ocd forms from time to time, HOCD seems to have the strongest grip. I am 25 and ready to go chase my dreams of family, wife kids, etc. that I have always had a strong feeling for. 2 years ago I began tackling my ocd and went and saw a specialist to assist me. Looking back, I have come so far it’s unreal. Unfortunately, my girlfriend of 5 years and I just decided to go our separate ways so you can imagine where my HOCD has taken me lately. Just remember though, we are not our OCD. Your values, feelings, emotions, goals etc all that stuff is separate from our OCD brain. I want to explain it and not reassure you if that makes sense. The OCD community is very unique. We have a blessing and a curse when it comes down to brain chemistry. Like me two years ago, I was so in debt to the curse side. Now, I’ve tapped into the blessing side for a bit and have seen how nice that is and how much I can do when my OCD brain is calmed down. Also remember that OCD will latch on to anything you care about. I’m not going to tell you to fight it and not allow it to latch on because whether you like it or not it will. What I will advise is to get better at letting it latch on and not put emphasis on that process. When you do this consistently, the thoughts will die down and lose significance. I know from personal experience. When you get good at living life alongside OCD, it weakens. It’s like oh shoot, you’re cool with us being here? Well that’s not good. Haha. Seriously though, that’s basically the big picture. Things will get better and easier as time goes on and your goals will be reached, if you put in the work✊??
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for this motivating message! I totally get what ur saying, i cant lie, the more i just keep doing my thing and live my life, the more im okay with it being around and it gets a bt easier. The hard part for me is realising that i dont actually enjoy the things i do because hocd has taken a lot of joy away from things. It also made me quit numb. So its hard to accept that things couldve been more fun and comfortable if hocd wasnt around. Its also hard to accept the loss of attraction and the fact that it makes me anxious quit a lot. I used to live in like this dreamy world where i enjoyed all the little things life gave me and i truly felt blessed and happy. Now i find it very hard to live in the moment and it really makes me miss all the magic life used to give. Im really afraid i will never feel that magic again. i do have enough strenght in me to keep going, its just less fun when im not myself but u know i got this. So the fact that u say that if you do that it will get better is for me so motivating and it gives me hope! There are so many people who said they had this for like 20 years and oof that frightens me. So we hocd sufferers need people like you to learn we can get better. Thanks for the comments :)
Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly, stay positive. And I can tell, you have very strong feelings about your future. So, you know where I am going with this, OCD is going to root itself in any way possibly to question that fact or scare you that it won’t happen. So, practice putting less emphasis on future future future. Obviously you know your goals physically and emotionally, keep it close to your heart and try to expose yourself to worst case scenario situations to weaken the pressure OCD can create. Your statements just showed or proved the difference between OCD and you and how they are separate entities
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Truly wise and helpful advice!
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
Ummm love yourself first and go therapy. What do you mean your personality split?
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Lol i get it but i mean therapy i just cant. Im 17... so i have like 3 years To fall in love but i gotta get started soon hahaha but its just not in it. At all because of hocd. I think the recovery takes like 3 years or something maybe more but i dont have money and i aint never telling my parents bout my hocd.
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer Also my personality split because of hocd. This shit ruined me deeeply. Idk who i al anymore, i had a whole personality and dreams and passions bt i got depressed so all that flushed down the drain
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer I feel like I’m annoying people more cause I’m depressed
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer If I was happy I probably would think more positive and I think my personality is just annoying or boring, you feel the same?
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer I told my mummy about my hocd she said don’t worry about it but she ain’t getting it, at least she didn’t call me gay or fag. At least she listened to my problem, and I said it out aloud so I don’t have to hold my hocd in
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peridottttt I feel u me too. I keep on rembling about it to everyone bevause its like big main thing happening in my life. And i feel so annoying and people around me say theyre depressed too but once i start about it they cant relate or theyre like stop whining and ughhh
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer And really that... but I menat like my personality is becoming boring and annoying since I keep saying same topics over and over and not have excitement when I’m talking so no one pays attention. Can you relate?
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peridottttt Yeah definitely
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel you. I’ve been with my bf for almost a year and before hocd a couple months ago I was so ready to move in with him. But now I’m so terrified. I’m 24 and it feels like everything was going so great and I was right where I was suppose to be in life and ready to be with him forever and now I’m just so scared of the future and what will happen. If I’ll leave him for a girl or something. I hate it. I want to tackle this before I move in with him so I’m not so worried and depressed ? I’m so terrified of things falling apart and failing. My dreams and everything I envisioned and wanted in life are so blurred and it’s so scary. I hope the best for you! I hope we can overcome this and get what we wanted before stupid hocd came along and attacked us
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
I hope the best for you too! This sounds heartbreaking because i can feel the pain, when ur happy and feel like ur in the right place it must be soo hard to have it being broken my something like this. I hope it will pass and that soon you get your old life and mentality back❤️
Ty94Ty94
- Date posted
- 5y
??
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- Date posted
- 23w
I feel so different from others
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
youllwintheb...
- Date posted
- 16w
hocd
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
Mimo116
- Date posted
- 15w
:((
My favourite animal is me when i cry because its possible to be gay and have hocd. Im so tired.i know im just 14.i know. Im simply like men.i know I shouldn’t think about this,but my ocd keep telling me that im not,because i have no experience.I don’t like or want women.i dont.i dont want it to happen.im not homophobic.i try to accept it because im afraid to not be honest with myself,but the pain is more and more. Im afraid that i wont love a man in future,and that i will love a women with no control..i hate that im just a silly teen that isnt “enough to know what i want”. I hate when people say im just young.i hate when my ocd say im just shame to be gay and im still homophobic because of my country(im a lgptq supporter and atheist for a year)i hate reading some people experience with hocd and they was really gay,i hate when my ocd tell me that when i travel to an open country to lgptq im gonne love women,i hate that it seems so true,i hate when i dont know whats ocd and whats not,but all i hope,that i heal from ocd..and still being straight..my peaceful dream..
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