I'm disturbed

There is one Athlete who is a month younger than me and he looks extremely young. Earlier this year I used to like him and his personality a lot but ever since I developed pocd, I keep getting scared over it. Add to that I just searched up on Twitter if finding him attractive is pedophilia or not and there was a tweet which was telling about 19 year old girls lusting over him when he was 15 years ago. I looked at his 15 year old pic thoroughly as a compulsion and he looked young in that but also beautiful/cute like any other teenage boy with pretty genes. I freaked out over thinking that he was beautiful and felt afraid that 'Was it sexual?' Then for a moment I tried to see in replies if anyone says that it is normal for a 19 year old to think a fifteen year old boy is beautiful and not pedophilia. Then I realized that why I was trying to justify a wrong for myself and I'm just so disturbed bcz why was I trying to justify it?

YouWillSurvive

Date posted: Yesterday

Us humans cannot certify the age of a person naturally, unless they have blatant features that would specify a certain age group (wrinkles for example). But even that isn't false. Do you know how many women at the beach see young teen boys that are really in shape and have no idea what their ages are but still have thoughts about them? They could be 15 but look 20...physical attributes, clothes, social context, etc., all contribute to our perception of age.

heart_random

Date posted: Yesterday

That athlete actually looks very young from face and mannerisms but I never thought its wrong bcz as the youngest daughter, I also have a baby face and very childlike personality. Now I feel scared of it

heart_random

Date posted: Yesterday

As if I didn't grow mentally for my age

SFEMZ

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi! I honestly didn't know that somebody can have such similar symptoms hahsha. I go through something like this so you're not alone. This theme led me to think sometimes that I'm weird for liking my boyfriend, which is really funny when you think about it because we are talking about a man that is older then me by a year and looks absolutely his age, he is 21. But my brain sometimes tries to convince me that I like him for how "young" he looks. And he absolutely looks his age. Ocd just doesn't like logic and sometimes is really irrational. Also I perfectly understand the "Am I attracted or do I think that person is pretty/beautiful?", happens to me too and then as a compulsion I would try to disprove. I think that the most important thing is just to not give into the rumination spiral. Just leave it uncertain because no amount of thinking about it will prove anything to ocd. Remember that real attraction doesn't involve anxiously trying to figure it out.

heart_random

Date posted: Yesterday

I freak out very bad! I feel like my mental age didn't grow etc and it terrifies me a lot 😔

SFEMZ

Date posted: Yesterday

@heart_random It's alright to feel this way. Ocd is deeply distressing. You're not alone tho and I don't think there's anything wrong with you. People without ocd think like this sometimes too but they don't struggle with letting a thought like that go because they know it doesn't mean anything. We all here are in this together. Have a nice day besides the ocd!

EndOCD!

Date posted: 15w

Just want a response

So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?

isharemycigs

Date posted: 14w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

Purvi

Date posted: 12w

POCD help

I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.

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I'm disturbed

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