- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly I get you. When I was 5 I was hurt. I kept it a secret. But the guilt was too much. I would have nightmares constantly and have panic attacks all the time. It got to the point where I was always sick. Finally i told my mom and instantly she started crying and we never talked about it after that night. I later found out that she was also hurt when she was my age and knew what I was going through. Idk why she didn't help me out with what i was going through, but I feel the guilt returning and it always affects my adult life. You just have to look past it and view yourself in an entirely healthier perspective. Hope this helped
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate to this very much. Thank you for sharing. I was also abused as a young child. And now as an adult I feel so much shame and guilt when I have sex. I abstained from sex for 2 years, and recently decided to try it again only a few weeks ago. I have hated myself since. It’s literally all I can think about is how ashamed of myself I am for sleeping with someone. Even though I know people do it all the time, I can’t get past how I feel about myself. I convinced myself the other person only slept with me to try to hurt me or give me an STD. I even went to the doctor and got tested and everything came back negative but in my head I don’t believe the tests. I feel like I’m never going to be able to have a normal relationship because my intrusive thoughts make it so hard to trust anyone.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this pain. :( I hope that you can eventually make progress in this through therapy and/or medication, because I know first hand how horrible the feeling is. I’m always amazed how others with OCD can relate to my experiences. Maybe just the fact that we’re not alone is relieving to some degree in itself. <3
- Date posted
- 5y
@CheeseDuck Thank you for responding. And yes, it does help to know that we’re not alone and we have people we can reach out to if we need to.
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate to that. Even though u was not violated when I was really young and to this day I would see things but not tell anyone, and my ocd would make .e feel trapped in it. I would see bears and stuff running around and I would constantly be in panic
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.
- Date posted
- 17w
I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
- Date posted
- 17w
I've had a horrific subtype that has been affecting my day to day life. I think it's snuck in due to good things occurring in my life. If I can't forgive myself for my past, why should others? I'm happy knowing I'm not alone with these thoughts, but knowing it was OCD all along and I could have suffered so much less if I was diagnosed as a child... Decades worth of compulsive checking, thinking I'm worse than a monster... I just want to breathe normally again. I feel guilt with each breath. It's too much.
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