- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes, and I've told my therapist that I obviously care what she thinks about me, and she knows this. So she uses it as ERP and says "maybe I am thinking judgmental things about you, you'll never know" and she knows I am uncomfortable because of this, but I know she is here to help me so I continue to work knowing I can never truly "know" what she or anything thinks of me. And that has been helping me reduce how much I care what anyone thinks of me. Hope that helps. Stay strong!
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I guess it does come down to doing some exposure work around what other people think of me. I’ve always struggled with ruminating on what people may/may not think about me. It makes sense that I would also feel this way about my therapist.
I have this very uncomfortable fear every time step into a mental health facility or go see my therapist. But, how i work my way out of this one is to tell myself maybe they're judging me, maybe they're not. Either way I am here to get help and i try to focus in on my session. But at any point i am uncomfortable with my mental health professional, i change said person. They are human too and they do unperfect things like us all. I Hope it gets better for you.
I've definitely encountered this fear, to the point where I actually burned that bridge out of paranoia. It's a terrible thing.
That sounds like an awesome plan Becky!
Anyone*
You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
Each night I go to bed determined to stop compulsions and start beating this disorder. Then I wake up and it smacks me in the face first thing and I’m doing a compulsion before I know it. I told my therapist that I would try to handle it like we do in session, but I’ve already failed. It seems like I can’t bring ERP into my “real” life.
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