- Username
- mao
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes, my rumination was driving me crazy especially when I tried to identify cognitive distortions. I needed to be on meds. I also needed additional care and people not reassuring me. Now, I'm able to pause and think if reassurance is helpful or not. I needed accountability. Also working with a therapist and understanding how to deal with those thoughts helped. Finally, some plain old common sense from my parents was helpful. Finally, y ou u sometimes have to slip and fall to learn common sense.
Do you think the meds helped you reach a threshold of common sense? I feel this strange urge to be perfect all the time, and somehow I feel as if I might have depleted all chemicals in my brain that regulate that balance...My mind has always been in the over control setting so much so that even snapping out of it seems like a fantasy at this point. I’ll say that I’m seriously considering alternative meds at this point to restore entropy-maybe increase it.
You can go to a psychiatrist and be evaluated. They help my regulate my nervous system. I was anxious all the time or depressed a lot. To learn common sense I had to be punished and humbled by poor decisions. Usually talking and socializing with people helps you to grow. Going to a really good psychologist that has common sense and understands life, talking to your parents and asking for advice. Also reading books on perfection and learning skills. Sometimes life just sucks. Accepting that and our flaws and humanity helps.
Thanks for your support. I appreciate it.
I deal with that a lot, mine is controlled by an internal voice so the harder I try to calm down the more I hear it getting louder
I feel you man. It’s insane. Sometimes I wonder if this is normal. But I’m also aware that as long as we’re still alive, there’s hope.
@mao I keep telling myself that since I beat it once I can do it again but it came back so much stronger
@nnickerson1776 If it helps a little, my CBT therapist recommended “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts,” but dude keep in touch-we can restore our sanities somehow we just have to be a little more patient.
@nnickerson1776 Part of my obsession is with psychedelics because I feel like that is a way to restore our brains default settings, but it’s highly marginalized by my CBT therapist and psychiatrist.
@mao My main thing stems from my inner battle with trying to leave religion. Mental illness and religion go together like Coca Cola and mentos. It’s like I’m destined to be trapped in this loop
@nnickerson1776 I hear you. Try to do more productive stuff. I don’t know if meds worked for you, but if it hasn’t, I would just keep staying positive.
Np
I know any reassurance I get does not satisfy, it keeps coming back. Even if I think I have an answer, even if the answer is that I don’t have the answers and that’s okay, it does not last. The ocd will find a way to come back and make me question. But I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD still, I have gone through an eating disorder and severe malnourishment... and chemo. So I wouldn’t be surprised if my brain is just tired, exhausted, and trying to repair itself and my entire body. But even before all of that, I struggled with my brain. Someone would turn on a light switch, and my mind would be thrown completely off and I’d panic, if someone opened a door, my mind was thrown off, the color of the sky didn’t feel right, something didn’t feel right. And I spent hours to full days being thrown off and wondering why. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. And still to this day I don’t understand. I do not know if it’s OCD. My mind feels broken. I can’t concentrate and I can’t seem to focus on anything without feeling like I’m missing something and I have to figure something out and something is wrong. Not sure what the purpose of my writing this is, I guess I’m just processing some. If anyone has any thoughts, I’d love to hear:)
Hi! I have OCD in a few different subtypes. Even when my brain isn't stuck on those scary obsessions and compulsions, it seems like it is getting stuck on every thought that comes in. Like my brain is constantly and very intensely trying to find problems to solve all throughout the day no matter what I'm thinking about, even if they aren't specific OCD thoughts. It's super exhausting! Is this a common thing with OCD? Does anyone else experience this?
What makes me feel the craziest, is that I feel like I know enough thanks to my having to research and Google everything..... like, I'm a sophomore in college... I am majoring in Psychology. Because the human mind (like mine) is so interesting. So like, I will talk to myself. Quietly with my thoughts AND even out loud. What trips me out is that I Swear that I have full therapy sessions with myself. I know my OCD is the cause of me having to keep questioning myself and trying to figure out why I'm this way and how to get better and what can I do to end this hell I live in inside my mind. I have made note of being able to provide myself with suggestions and advice and info on things to do that can help counter and deal with my OCD to where i can be more functional. It really pulls me into an intense standstill Because it's like I know the answer and I know what I need to do... but I have to always end it with how i must not care how insane and crazy I am because if I know what I can do to help manage and keep my OCD at ease, then why can't I? It pulls me into this spiral where I then question what I know. Or if I have some sort of split personality. I'm always checking and researching things that I already know, just so I can find reassurance. I will ask Alexa stupid questions I know the answer to, like "whats the definition of _____" when I know what the meaning is, but I want to make sure. I'm always feeling as if I could be wrong in everything I think I know.... I get stuck for hours replaying events and situations or something said or done and try to think of every possible reason why, or possible outcomes. I can not communicate effectively because I sound crazy to myself, how is the other person thinking I'm normal? I get lost and stuck for hours in my own head... "circling" as i call it, or what I recently read as a ping pong game. My best friend committed suicide in 2019, by "hanging" to where I became obsessed with suicide, learning all about hanging to where I know things like short-drop and either you suffer or just pass out. Not just that but then I want to know how she was in her last moments. (I would hope she just passed out... I hate knowing she was in any pain). This lead me to become obsessed with the spirit world and started doing spirit box sessions again because I want to talk to her. (Which has me confused between I know I might hear some things because I want to... but also feel that because of that, I need clear responses). I am just in constant battle with my own self. I'm always fighting my own self. I'm my own worst enemy... but my own friend and therapist and teacher and etc. This is really really difficult. And I hope I am not alone in this. I don't even know exactly what subtypes and themes i deal with because there's many, and because everything has to be exactly what it's supposed to be, that if one "trait" doesn't fall under that category, that there must be something I am missing. This is exhausting 😞
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond