Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
Mike1234Mike1234
- Date posted
- 5y
Your brain still wants what it can’t have, but your heart ❤️ knows what’s true.
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
I just want it to get better
BelieveInYourselfBelieveInYou...
- Date posted
- 5y
You don't want to live with your new bf because of the sufferings even when sufferings go along with relationships? I can tell that you're really tired not just facing your struggle with you ex bf but also the time you have spent with OCD has made you even more tired. If OCD is not letting you go either way, that is living with you new bf or escaping life struggles then you have to get yourself prepared now. You can't let yourself be carried away because of the middle situation these two conditions are making. If you're stuck, that means you still have to do something because you can't remain motionless in life. And now if you've got to do something you know what direction is better to walk.
XTrinstaXXTrinstaX
- Date posted
- 5y
Holy shit I’ve been going through the same exact thing for the last 4 months. I can’t stop thinking about my ex when I have a boyfriend. Not trying to give reassurance but it’s ocd. It’s fucking with you because it knows your bf is so important to you. Don’t let it get to you. When I get the thoughts I just use mindfulness to know it’s just ocd. Starve the monster. I’m here if you need someone to talk too because I’m going through this
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
Oops! My comment back is below
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
Please I need someone to talk to I need help. I’m losing it. I don’t want to think about him. I don’t want to leave my bf for him. I just want him out of my head and idk how. I cry and cry. And now I’m scared to move in with my bf cuz of it. It has to be ocd. It has to be. There is no way I would want that toxic ness lying narcissist who never cared about me or losing me. I had to walk away from him after he just kept telling me he didn’t want me. And I just don’t know if I healed enough from the pain or if I just buried it and it’s resurfacing now. I’m scared. I’m so scared. I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack all the time
XTrinstaXXTrinstaX
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s normal to still feel hurt. It’s human. As long as as you love and want to be with your boyfriend that’s all that matters. This obsession started when my boyfriend made a joke saying “If you still had feelings for him I’d leave yo ass” but even though it was a joke it scared the shit out of me. I kept doubting every single thought and couldn’t eat or sleep. I was crying for weeks and throwing up every time I spent the night with him. He had no idea until December I let it all out. He was so understanding and sweet about it. He knows me better than anyone that I don’t care for my ex because I never cared for him before. January I found out I have ocd because it turns out it runs in my family. I started antidepressants and now I’m basically a therapist for myself. I’ve learned tricks for my ocd. I have compulsions to confess and check with my boyfriend, friends and family. I’ve been practicing holding those compulsions in and every time I get a thought I focus on the anxiety I feel and breathe. I try to think about how it’s just ocd. The reason I know it’s ocd is because I feel shame and guilt. You clearly love your boyfriend so much and this is killing you because ocd knows your love him.
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@TrinnyTrin But then I go with the what if I feel shame and guilt because I know I miss and want him but don’t want to hurt my bf. I think what if my ex changes and then we will be a better fit. I think what if I could forgive him for what he did to me. I can’t stop. I just want to stop because I do live my bf. I feel so awful I don’t know what to do
XTrinstaXXTrinstaX
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 How are you now? Better? Same? Or worse?
Ocdandme123Ocdandme123
- Date posted
- 5y
@TrinnyTrin I’m okay. I am still struggling but I’ve been watching so many videos and reading so much and talking to people. It’s still in my head but I have a therapy apt set up for Monday and I’m determined to move past this shit
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anonymous_an...
- Date posted
- 22w
Advice ROCD
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
Uypvqcm5
- Date posted
- 21w
ROCD
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
misereri
- Date posted
- 19w
Someone to talk to?please?
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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