- Date posted
- 5y
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- 5y
I’m also afraid that my family will abandon me bc of my thought content and that scares the shit out of me. ? I’m so scared of having a panic attack around them. Public stigma has always taught me to hide mental issues. It was looked down upon. It’s very hard to unlearn this and forgive myself for the thoughts I have and to know that it isn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for this. I believe that I do deserve love despite it. I do always feel I have to apologize for it though.
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- 5y
Does anyone know your struggling with ocd?
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- 5y
My fiancé does and so does my family, but not gritty details of it. I can share it with them. I share them with my therapist because he is an OCD specialist, but my family doesn’t have the mental bandwidth to understand the contents of my thoughts.
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- 5y
@RSMs I can’t*
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- 5y
@RSMs Haha I understand that but try and opening up even more. What I did was share with them so helpful posts and articles and it really helped them to understand.
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- 5y
I can’t*
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- 5y
@OCDone I have been considering that, but it terrifies me. I am afraid of being judged by them.
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- 5y
@RSMs Please do it! I'm telling you it really helps bring you closer to them and they will respond better than u think
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- 5y
yes absolutely. you voiced my thoughts. i feel compelled to be as open and honest as possible because thats just my nature, but now my OCD puts up this wall because i know the thoughts i have are not socially acceptable to just talk about at all. i kind of feel like it would be good exposure or at least acceptance for me if i had someone i could just tell my thoughts to as they come along and they could acknowledge them and we could move on with the certainty that i wont be judged for it.
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- 5y
Ah! I hear you 100%
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- 5y
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- 5y
I hear that. The dreams are not happening as often, but they did in the past and that was disturbing to wake up from them like WTF?!
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- 5y
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.
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- 5y
this is excactly how i feel!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩
- Date posted
- 23w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 21w
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
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