- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m also afraid that my family will abandon me bc of my thought content and that scares the shit out of me. ? I’m so scared of having a panic attack around them. Public stigma has always taught me to hide mental issues. It was looked down upon. It’s very hard to unlearn this and forgive myself for the thoughts I have and to know that it isn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for this. I believe that I do deserve love despite it. I do always feel I have to apologize for it though.
- Date posted
- 5y
Does anyone know your struggling with ocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
My fiancé does and so does my family, but not gritty details of it. I can share it with them. I share them with my therapist because he is an OCD specialist, but my family doesn’t have the mental bandwidth to understand the contents of my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
@RSMs I can’t*
- Date posted
- 5y
@RSMs Haha I understand that but try and opening up even more. What I did was share with them so helpful posts and articles and it really helped them to understand.
- Date posted
- 5y
I can’t*
- Date posted
- 5y
@OCDone I have been considering that, but it terrifies me. I am afraid of being judged by them.
- Date posted
- 5y
@RSMs Please do it! I'm telling you it really helps bring you closer to them and they will respond better than u think
- Date posted
- 5y
yes absolutely. you voiced my thoughts. i feel compelled to be as open and honest as possible because thats just my nature, but now my OCD puts up this wall because i know the thoughts i have are not socially acceptable to just talk about at all. i kind of feel like it would be good exposure or at least acceptance for me if i had someone i could just tell my thoughts to as they come along and they could acknowledge them and we could move on with the certainty that i wont be judged for it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ah! I hear you 100%
- Date posted
- 5y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear that. The dreams are not happening as often, but they did in the past and that was disturbing to wake up from them like WTF?!
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.
- Date posted
- 5y
this is excactly how i feel!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 19w
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
- Date posted
- 18w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
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