Does anyone else feel like they’re living a double life with OCD? As if they have a very dark secret? I am so tired of feeling unwell around people and trying to calm myself down when I am in obviously calm situations. My train ride was so nerve wrecking today. While everyone was just chill and quiet. All I had were random and gross intrusive thoughts, and there I was standing like another train passenger. Ugh!

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.

Ugh I just wanna think and feel normal again, my souls tired. Does anyone have this horrible feeling inside of them in their chest, idk if anxiety or depression but even when I’m not thinking about my theme or having intrusive thoughts/images this feeling is eating me alive. I literally can’t sit peacefully and enjoy the moment cause of this terrible feeling and I don’t even know what it is, must be anxiety. I think it’s just driving me to have negative thoughts cause it’s such a horrible feeling.

Hello community, I am struggling with a wash of lightning speed intrusive thoughts that occur when I have to interact and before I interact with people- mostly that I care about. Thoughts like- everyone wants me to be good, I am not good enough, I must perform, I can’t relax around people, I can’t be me because I am bad, I can’t trust myself to be good and liked, I must be more like my sister ect. It causes me to become hyper aware of my mouth and the sound of my words, I feel like I end up holding a wall up over me, I feel like I don’t even know who I am or how I would wanna be because the thoughts overwhelm me. Does anyone else experience this type of thing? And what has helped you? I can’t afford OCD therapy but I am so fed up of feeling so alone and hiding in my body. Thanks for reading