Anyone relate? Advice? It breaks my heart not saying this to him but there’s a part in me that won’t let me. I haven’t said or don’t say I love you as much, sometimes when I do I feel like I’m forcing myself and then the thoughts come on wether it’s true and if I’m just saying it because he says it. He says it a lot and it sometimes makes me feel bad that I feel down in some way when it’s supposed to make anyone feel happy. When I’m okay for a few days, and the thoughts leave for a while, I’m happier and I don’t hesitate in saying it when he does something cute or anything, I just keep saying it but then this happens...

My boyfriend told me that he feels like he’s losing me, that I’ve changed, that I never seem happy to see him anymore, and that I haven’t told him I love him in a long time. Hearing this completely broke me. I feel numb, stuck, and unable to process my emotions. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. What if he’s right? What if I don’t love him anymore and I’m just in denial? I want to feel something when I’m with him, but I feel blocked. I feel like I can’t express love the way I used to, and now he’s noticing it too. That makes me feel even worse, because he doesn’t deserve this. He’s been trying to help me, but he told me that I’m not changing, and now I feel like I’m the problem. Even when I’m calm, I still feel disconnected. My brain doesn’t work the same anymore—I can’t think clearly, I can’t process my emotions like I used to. I thought that when my anxiety would go down, I would finally feel normal again, but even in moments of calm, I feel like I don’t know what’s real. I feel like a horrible person, like I’m emotionally unavailable and ruining everything. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I just want to go back to how I used to feel, when love wasn’t something I questioned every second. im ruining my relationship

I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔

i dont say i love you to my bf, only when i say good night out of habit, he pointed it put multiple times. i feel sad bc i cant say it amd i want to say it but i feel bad bc i always think that i dont like him. im so sad. im scared i dont love him and he uses logic in me that sometimes dosent work and then i still think i dont like him and i never did.