worryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
lilly_lulilly_lu
- Date posted
- 5y
I have had some thoughts like that. I just kinda tell myself “well if I’m racist then so be it” after a bit it goes away
lilly_lulilly_lu
- Date posted
- 5y
This just means that you really value equality
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
I get this annoying one where I become very aware of how long I spend looking at any poc and want it to be a really neutral amount of time, it's like I'm worried I'll be accused of looking at someone for too long, or too short, or in the wrong way and it'll be taken as racism or upset them? If I've glanced at someone and I notice they're a poc, I don't want to look away again like I was probably going to so I keep looking at them long enough for it to definitely not be perceived as a SLY glance, but not too long that it makes it worse again. I always look people of colour right in the face too when with others I don't think I'd pay that much attention to where I'm looking during a conversation, it's some kind of combination of not wanting them to think I'm staring at their skin colour and wanting them to know I'm paying attention and respect them and DON'T feel weird about them or find eye contact hard. I have no clue. It's actually very annoying, it kicks in as soon as my brain notices skin colour and comes with a little kick of guilt. This is actually the first time I've ever considered that it could be OCD, I always thought a lot of people have it. Maybe they do. Or maybe it's some precursor of OCD? I don't dwell on it at other times, or try to figure out if it's racism because I know all the reasons why I'm not, and basing whether I'm racist on this instead of on my actions and actual thoughts about other races and microaggressions, wouldn't make sense. Plus I actually don't find the eye contact hard, it can feel quite nice to look people in the face, and that's coming from an autistic person here. Have also had crushes on a couple of black girls who were 100% my type (short and chubby and bubbly and feminine). I didn't have this thing in my head with those girls, which I guess means that my hormones beat out my anxiety ? Anyway- what Lilly suggests might work actually. Taking a bit of a sarcastic tone with it, really treating it like it's not worth your time. When you get urges to look or catch yourself dwelling on thoughts or feelings that you're racist, try telling the thought "maybe later", or "I'll figure it out later". That can do wonders for just breaking the link between the trigger and the compulsions.
worryqueenworryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the same exact thoughts and reactions, and I guess the reason it ties into my ocd is because I'm afraid of seeming offensive. I'm a lesbian so I know what it's like to be viewed as different, but I'm also a white woman, and I dont want to treat other people that way, so I try hard to not do or say certain things because I know they're wrong. I guess my ocd just latches onto that, and twists it around on me. I've had a crush on my poc friend before and never questioned her skin color, it's people's personality I pay attention to, but now my brain is jumbled and I'm doubting myself. I'll try mocking the thoughts though and see if that helps, thank you for the advice.
FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 5y
@worryqueen Hah yeah I'm bi too, it's tricky trying to be self aware and considerate without getting obsessive about it. Try to remember that you don't have to, and, seeing as you're human, can't, get everything right. I'm going to try to deliberately look at poc weirdly the next time I'm out to challenge this. Yeah there's the risk someone will think I'm racist. But it'll be an opportunity to face the guilt about it which should hopefully make it easier to stop moderating how I look at people. Honestly the fact that we care about other people's comfort enough to end up in anxious thought loops probably says something positive, it's not our fault that our brains go OTT. And this link says interracial interactions cause everyone anxiety spikes anyway: https://perception.org/research/racial-anxiety/
worryqueenworryqueen
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I feel you. I definitely needed a reminder that I cant be perfect, but I'll still try my best to be kind. I think I'm going to try that too, though I think the problem is that I grew up in a white suburban neighborhood with only one or two poc families around, so it's hard to face these fears. It does comfort me somewhat in a weird way when I think about how I fear and hate something so much that my brain just can't handle it and flips it around on me. Like I care that much. The article helped btw, it's nice to know it's more common.
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 13w
Need help, PLEASE +18
I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older sibling— I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? — thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language
roszip-0toMd...
- Date posted
- 11w
Please help!!!
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
YaynoOCD
- Date posted
- 6w
OCD and sex
Hi everyone I could really use some help on this topic. It’s hard to admit and talk about but after being on here I see that I’m not the only one! Still I would love some support and advice with how to deal with those unwanted sexual thoughts. For me it’s so uncomfortable and honestly gross when sexual thoughts get out of hand with normal people and also do extremely out of hand that even loved ones get involved. Like when I watch tv and all of a sudden I have these gross thoughts that I know if I accept they will go away but how can you accept something so gross? Would love some help!
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