- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Also, I feel like I'm grossing people out so I will stop posting on here.
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s what this app is for, letting it out. Nobody here will judge you. ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@honiedewz ^^ exactly, please vent if you need to it’s not good to bottle things up. ik it’s bad to give reassurance so I just want to say that things Will get better soon. remember that thoughts are just thoughts even if you don’t believe it atm
- Date posted
- 5y
Try not to beat yourself up so much. Treat yourself with respect and kindness, even when you don’t feel you deserve it. Try practicing positive self talk. You don’t have to beleive what you say, but when you hear yourself thinking something bad about yourself, respond with unconditional kindness. Please keep hanging in there. If you don’t think you can keep yourself safe contact someone who can help or call a hotline. Sometimes you have to explain what ocd is because they might not know much about it. Something like, “I have ocd, it’s a disorder where I experience obsessive unwanted thoughts.”
- Date posted
- 5y
Try not to analyse the thoughts. I know it’s incredibly hard. Accept the thought and continue with a normal behaviour. You will never find the answer you’re looking for because that certainty doesn’t exist. Stopping analysing the thoughts is hard but once you get going it does get easier.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you all for your support! It means so, so much! It's not just about the thoughts, it's mostly about the things that I did. It seems that I keep going in a spiral and I just can't stop. I keep living in the past by trying to figure out why certain things happened (because of me) and by wishing that they never did. I truly feel a like a monster. I've never seen anyone with a similar issue, except for people who have abused and hurt other people. I know I shouldn't be saying this but I don't want to go through another night or day anymore. The pain of waking up and knowing that I am who I am and that I will never be able to change it makes me want to disappear from this world. I'm really sorry.
- Date posted
- 5y
What needs to happen to make sure you are safe?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Nikki1809 I'm sorry, I don't know.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ok. Do you wanna message me on instagram? I’ll send you a messege.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I can be way too hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest slip up in regards to OCD. Sometimes it can feel like I'm gaslighting myself on what was "so blatantly and obviously a moral atrocity in thought and intent", when 95% of the time I'm not even sure what my own intent with dealing with these thoughts is or why I do what I do. It makes me feel like some shameless beast for "daring to even entertain the thought of something so VILE!!!" When I just get so confused and scared on moral issues, like my mind is pulled down a rabbit hole I can't escape until the tricks are done on me and it's too late, i've accepted such ideas I hate until that hate and trying to not give in convince me "it might not be that bad". It feels like anything, even the most mundane things can trigger this. This cycle happens mainly because I feel like there's "no way to escape committing more 'attrocities' in thought or compulsion anyway"...and these cycles become the basis for more of these incidents. there a way to stop this? There have been multiple times where I called myself the R word, and even knowing it's a slur I still called myself that because "I'm nothing if not deserving of such scorn". Any attempt to stop the madness makes it worse and it's like all this I talked about is so convincing I dare not question it until after the fact. Please help.
- Date posted
- 21w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now it’s gotten really out of hand and I don’t know how to do it anymore. It’s surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasn’t myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasn’t good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that I’m off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I can’t move on. I can’t do anything without thinking about all of these memories. I’m obsessed. I’ve started hating myself again, so much so that it’s hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasn’t even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I can’t stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. I’ve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I can’t remember, and that my mind just can’t deal with it. And that’s why I feel so guilty. There’s nothing to really support this though. But I’m starting to really convince myself that’s true. I’m trying not to listen to it, because I’ve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and haven’t remembered when I absolutely didn’t and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check there’s no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldn’t listen. But it’s hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I don’t remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I don’t remember? I don’t feel like this all the time. But it’s a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. I’ve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I don’t know. I don’t really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
- Date posted
- 14w
i haven’t talked to anyone about this, not my therapist, not my girlfriend, not my parents, but these days i find myself thinking about just ending it all. i wouldn’t actually do it, i’m too scared to, but sometimes it feels like that’s the only way out, the only solution. i feel so wrong, like everything about me is wrong, and i can’t find it in myself to believe i’m worth living. i need to know if it gets better. i’m 20 years old and have spent the vast majority of my teenage years in therapy. i can’t stop feeling like i need to confess everything, especially to my girlfriend. obviously i try to resist the urge to but the mental battles are exhausting. every time something is even slightly wrong, i feel like i can’t i breathe. whenever i’m trying to distract myself, whenever i’m busy, all i can think about is everything i’m doing wrong. how can i possibly live life to the fullest if this is how i am?
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