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Wanting to understand why pedophiles are the way they are does not prove or disprove anything. I don't think you would accuse anyone else who had that curiosity of being one themselves. It's possible that your mind has convived you that you are the worst possible thing, a pedophile, which is why you don't feel as much disgust. Right now, you believe yourself to be one, so you may not want to feel as much strong emotion. I think you should try to recognize when you're attempting to analyze your emotions. Instead of letting yourself think "I should be more angry" and "Why am I not more upset", attempt to tell yourself there is no "correct" way to feel emotions. "I am feeling what I feel and that's okay" and move on. No emotional or thought checking. I hope this helps.

Yes. Before POCD I hated pedos. I still do but not nearly as much as I did. I think it’s because we feel like we are one and hating them makes us feel worse about ourselves even tho we are not one at all. Sometimes I see stuff on the news and I’m like of that’s not that bad but it is horrible and I know it’s horrible. OCD is weird

Because of my POCD I've developed empathy for pedophiles. They didn't ask for their thoughts and feelings either. As long as they don't act on them, I have no problem with them Child molesters/rapists on the other hand definitely deserve a lot of prison time. I hope they get help though. They're still human and besides it will make kids safer. I don't really hate them, if for no other reason than I'm more concerned with the survivors.