Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
holleyholley
- Date posted
- 5y
this is exactly how i feel!
KlauKlau
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey how do you feel about that?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Very bad and awful about that
holleyholley
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell i emailed you!
KlauKlau
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell Have you talked with your female friends how do they experience the female body? I know us with OCD have difficulty understanding and accepting the fact that straight females can get turned on by the female body and still wanting to be with a man. It happens to me too, and I also have it difficult to accept due to OCD.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Klau I haven’t really, bc I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know how to express that I don’t want to be with a woman but I’m turned on by boobs. I don’t know.
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel you but with men. I have went through a period with OCD when I was convinced I was sexually attracted to men ans would get turned on by them even though all I would fantasize about is self harm fantasies, like them destroying me. I felt those fantasies were against every fibre of my being and who I am, the opposite of what my soul wants and needs. I wont get into the graphic details unless we DM. And right now because I semi-enjoyed it and was convinced I was just a masochist my OCD won't leave me that I can't call myself a lesbian because I want men to harass, abuse and degrade me not in an enjoyable way, but outright soul crushing one.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I mean I kind of have a fetish for bdsm with a man using women but at the same time I just don’t think about women as partners or someone I would want to snuggle with.
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell I do not support BDSM in any way, however I got through very intense periods of self hatred. I do not think and have never thought of of males as partners either. I do have certain features I could possibly find attractive in a man, but I never desired a relationship with one.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@fenna I’m sorry you went through that, I hope you’ve seen improvement❤️you deserve to love you. I think my thing is more like it’s easier for me to be turned on by a naked girl being used by a guy than vice versa. Like I sexualize the female body more but I do not think I want to be with one if that makes sense. But sense I don’t just look at a guy naked and feel ready for sex I’m afraid. And not desiring a relationship is kind of a big sign you’re not into it, same with not seeing them as partners!
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell Yeah. It comes and goes in waves, because I am managing it the best way I can but sometimes it gets too overwhelming. I'm pretty sure I'm not into guys but then... I dunno. I have to accept phag I'll never know. My OCD sometimes fixates on a random guy I see and they get engraved in my memory and that pretty much feels like it's attraction :/ even though I really do not like anything about men except the feminine aspects of them and anything remotely masculine in a guy puts me off sm and I have to convince myself I like him :///
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@fenna I feel the same. The whole naked women vs naked men thing has convinced me I need to get a divorce and I feel like I’m dying
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell As a lesbian, does my experience relate to yours? I wouldn’t ask, but considering this “evidence” I feel like my case is different
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell In terms of OCD if we flip it to me then yes, I do relate a lot. However in term of supposed attraction to women, do not relate not wanting to have sex with women. When I'm turned on by a woman, all I can think about is sex with her. When I'm turned on by a woman, I can't distract myself away from it. It is one of the best feelings ever for me. I am currently single but I crave a relationship with a woman even though i do not think I could handle it because of the OCD. I am also a feminist, I love women to death in general and they mean the world. I love being into women because it's the thing that has made my life worth living ans has brought me the most happiness. I want to marry a woman someday. I want to share my life with a woman. My supposed attraction to men could never compare to what I feel for women. And it always came wirh some form of distress, never feeling entirely right.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@fenna Wow I definitely do relate to you in the opposite way. The distress, the feelings toward men, all of it. Do you ever wonder how we got here? Never wanting sex with a woman or a man but our brains are just never going to give it up. I’m married to a man and I love it. The only bad part is ocd. Ugh. I am confident you will find a woman you love and it will be okay once we slay this dragon. Are you in therapy?
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell My OCD triggered because I had a massive crush on a girl but she rejected me, even though we both have felt some attraction to each other and I was desperate to dissasociate myself from it, and then my brain went like "oh so you do not want to like her therefore you're not attracted to her and if you're not attracted to her then you've never been attracted to a woman in your life and therefore you're probably just faking it and are straight". It's so dumb. I really wish I could find a girlfriend but I do not wsnt to be a burden to her with my OCD. I was in therapy before all of this started and currently I am still unable to go. So I'm trying my best to manage stuff myself.
ｆｅｎｎａ ｆｅｎｎａ
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell I've came to the conclusion that if it is a feeling of even a little tiny wrongness then you're not actually attracted to the person. It helps.
KlauKlau
- Date posted
- 5y
Thing is I don’t mean to ressure you, but there are articles about this. Females are turned on by pretty much everything sexual, including the naked female body and lesbian porn. I know it’s hard to believe because we have OCD, but all women experience it this way, even if they don’t want to have sex with women. I get the groinal by female butts and I’m still scared by it. And also the male body doesn’t turn me on just looking at it. How about you?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Same?
KlauKlau
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell My brain is fixated with all these and I’m single at the moment so I feel like that’s a sign. I always had crushes on guys and loved guys, but that’s not enough for me...
Related posts
Anonymousesti
- Date posted
- 24w
SOOCD
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
mattis!
- Date posted
- 20w
Feels so real
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sofiaraaah7
- Date posted
- 19w
It must be real now
I’m struggling badly. I did something about a month ago which I now realize was probably testing, but what scares me is I feel like I liked it, which is horrifying. What’s even worse though, is after I did it, I was able to brush it off quickly and not be too bothered by it, as I was still very anxious on other thoughts I was experiencing. Now those thoughts are meaningless and THIS is what’s causing tremendous anxiety, but the fact that I didn’t feel anxiety about it after I did it seals the deal for me. I mean, did feel anxious and guilty after I did it, but I was able to dismiss it somewhat quickly, and I remember that memory came up a couple of times within the month after I did it but like I said, it hasn’t too hard to dismiss it. I really feel like it’s denial. The fact that I wasn’t that anxious about it and tried to justify it/dismiss it HAS to mean it’s been denial all this time, there just no way this is OCD :( Right now I’m anxious about the fact that I might’ve liked it AND the fact that I wasn’t anxious about it for a while. It is really just a torment to ruminate on, and I would never do that thing again, but the fact that I did it and felt like I liked it is beyond terrifying. I feel like I have proof now, I’m trying to figure out why I did it and what it meant, and why I wasn’t super anxious the following weeks after, I mean it WAS uncomfortable to think back on, but I feel like the fact I wasn’t super anxious about it means I was in denial or repressing my true self. I am so so scared. I’ve been worried about this for the past week and a half :( (This is all centered on the same theme btw.)
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