I have been struggling with OCD for as long as I can remember and I have lost count of how many therapists I have been to. But the main one that has really stuck with me is contamination OCD. but it branches off like if there is a red smudge on paper or somewhere I’ll automatically think it’s blood and have immediate anxiety. But the OCD fear that I have allowed to control my life is the fear of getting pregnant from someone not washing their hands after going to the bathroom or if they did (who knows what) and didn’t wash their hands or shower, or even if they touch their phone (since nowadays we all have ours connected to us at all times)or something before washing their hands and then the sperm could of transferred onto that or anything and then they touch something that I then touch and then if I got pregnant (or even the thought of those “germs/sperm” being on my body at all) my boyfriend would breakup with me and we have been together for over 5 years and I love him with my whole heart so my fear is loosing him. Now I know it’s pretty much impossible to get pregnant like that but my OCD brain is saying well what if it happens to you and your the first person ever. So I literally don’t touch anything after anyone or at least directly without washing my hands right after. I was my hands probably at least 50 times a day and use Lysol wipes on EVERYTHING! I have sanitized my phone 3 times already today. I am in therapy but I feel like talking to others who also suffer and can relate helps too I know this is a strange OCD fear, I guess I’m wondering if anyone has ever had this fear as well?

Yeah I mean I’m 29 now so it’s not like I’m ignorant on how babies are made like I get that it’s not possible by touching something someone else did. But it’s like the fear of what if. And then him thinking I cheating on him

@StefH "What if" is classic OCD.

Thank you so much I know I have been trying to not give in but when I don’t and I try to not wash my hands it’s like the flood gates open and every type of worst fear comes to mind. How have you delt with that, if that’s something you have experienced? And did you do a hierarchy list and expose that way or I have also heard of another method where he used the analogy of just jumping right in the pool instead of feeling the water first and slowly getting in the pool. So basically ERP cold turkey..

@StefH I dont think cold turkey is a good idea for the most of us. I have tried many times...I think the best is to work through the fears step by step, by that you get stronger. The mist important thing to me has been to make a plan for everyday and every week what to do. If we wait until the moment comes we start to hesitate. If you have decied beforehand what to its easier to make it I think. You will get anxious when you face the fear, but you will learn that you dont have to "fear the fear", its just emotions, not facts. If you cant find a ERP therapist you can try a workbook for OCD. It's not impossible to learn to manage this.

@Estrid Yeah I do have an OCD work book and I just started reading Brain Lock. I like the idea of having a daily and/or weekly plan. The worst though is always when something happens unexpectedly. For instance (and you won’t believe how many times I’ve seen this in public) but boys or even adult men “adjust” themselves like it’s nothing! And a boy or young teenager did it (NOT outside his pants) and I was handed something right after this kid was handed his and I believe this trigger happened maybe a year ago and to this day I have this around my house I avoid because I either touched them later that day when I got home from work but still had my work clothes on (even though I washed my hands obviously). Like for example there was a lamp and I touched it and then it later hit me that now because I touched that lamp and I had my work clothes on that boys “private area stuff/germs” are now there so I moved it to our guest bedroom but now even though the lamp isn’t the same lamp in my bedroom I still walk past that area and have you make sure to pay attention that I don’t get near the area or the outlet the lamp was plugged into OR and this happens a lot, i don’t know if you can relate, but I will THINK I touched it/something but in reality I highly highly doubt I did or even was close enough to of touched it. Sorry for the novel!

@StefH OCD friend, no worries about the "novel", I can relate to this very much. No problems at all...nowadays I'm afraid of other contaminants but it works the same. And I have had fears that I have been pregnant in very strange ways. Someone touched that, and then I touched, and then....yes. and it never ends. We have to break that loop. I know it can be hard to face the unexpected triggers, but if we work on the ERP, in the end we can learn to handle even these ones. I have read Brain lock, it is good in many way, but it doesn t teach ERP very well. I can recommend for example "The ACT Workbook for OCD", or "The mindfulness workbook for OCD" or check out IOCDFs webbsite for resources. I can also recommend ERP school by Kimberley Quinlan, a resource online (you have to pay for it), its very pedagogical and you learn the basics of ERP.