- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
If that's a strange fear, then we're both strange ☺! I don't deal with it so much anymore, but I did when I was younger. Ultimately, your best bet is to live with uncertainty. Maybe you'll get pregnant, maybe you won't. Whatever life throws at you, you'll be able to handle it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I mean I’m 29 now so it’s not like I’m ignorant on how babies are made like I get that it’s not possible by touching something someone else did. But it’s like the fear of what if. And then him thinking I cheating on him
- Date posted
- 5y
@StefH "What if" is classic OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
This rings so true omg I'm absolutely consumed by this fear right now and the advice I got was to not to view sperm like a virus - it can't 'infect' you, it's not sentient or intelligent and getting pregnant isn't like catching a virus, there's a huge amount of very precise and time-sensitive things that need to happen to cause pregnancy. Even though the what if's are ALWAYS BACK it helps to ground yourself in facts that are widely researched and medically backed up. Sperm is so so fragile and will not survive outside the body for long at all, and it's not resilient to being dumped on surfaces or moved around via hands onto other objects. But I'm still the same I'll waste so much time worrying and avoiding situations like even taking parcels from delivery guys, brushing past guys in a supermarket aisle or touching any door handle etc. I believe has been 'contaminated' by it. You're so not alone and I hope you're doing okay now!
- Date posted
- 5y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 5y
How did you overcome it? Especially because I’m 29 and I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and one day I do want to have a family but the fear isn’t being pregnant it’s ultimately getting pregnant by someone who didn’t wash their hands and then loosing my boyfriend because he thought I cheated on him or something which I would NEVER do!
- Date posted
- 5y
I have also had this fear. So I understand you. I dont know if your therapists have been specialized in OCD? The only way to tell your brain that this is false beliefs is to break the compulsions. You cant find the answer by argumenting, just by acting in a new way. You need help in that exposures. When you break the compulsions, stop washing your hands step by step your brain responds with a "okaaaay, she doesnt wash her hands in that exessive way any longer- well I dont need to send these ridiculous thoughrs anymore". You can do it?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much I know I have been trying to not give in but when I don’t and I try to not wash my hands it’s like the flood gates open and every type of worst fear comes to mind. How have you delt with that, if that’s something you have experienced? And did you do a hierarchy list and expose that way or I have also heard of another method where he used the analogy of just jumping right in the pool instead of feeling the water first and slowly getting in the pool. So basically ERP cold turkey..
- Date posted
- 5y
@StefH I dont think cold turkey is a good idea for the most of us. I have tried many times...I think the best is to work through the fears step by step, by that you get stronger. The mist important thing to me has been to make a plan for everyday and every week what to do. If we wait until the moment comes we start to hesitate. If you have decied beforehand what to its easier to make it I think. You will get anxious when you face the fear, but you will learn that you dont have to "fear the fear", its just emotions, not facts. If you cant find a ERP therapist you can try a workbook for OCD. It's not impossible to learn to manage this.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Estrid Yeah I do have an OCD work book and I just started reading Brain Lock. I like the idea of having a daily and/or weekly plan. The worst though is always when something happens unexpectedly. For instance (and you won’t believe how many times I’ve seen this in public) but boys or even adult men “adjust” themselves like it’s nothing! And a boy or young teenager did it (NOT outside his pants) and I was handed something right after this kid was handed his and I believe this trigger happened maybe a year ago and to this day I have this around my house I avoid because I either touched them later that day when I got home from work but still had my work clothes on (even though I washed my hands obviously). Like for example there was a lamp and I touched it and then it later hit me that now because I touched that lamp and I had my work clothes on that boys “private area stuff/germs” are now there so I moved it to our guest bedroom but now even though the lamp isn’t the same lamp in my bedroom I still walk past that area and have you make sure to pay attention that I don’t get near the area or the outlet the lamp was plugged into OR and this happens a lot, i don’t know if you can relate, but I will THINK I touched it/something but in reality I highly highly doubt I did or even was close enough to of touched it. Sorry for the novel!
- Date posted
- 5y
@StefH OCD friend, no worries about the "novel", I can relate to this very much. No problems at all...nowadays I'm afraid of other contaminants but it works the same. And I have had fears that I have been pregnant in very strange ways. Someone touched that, and then I touched, and then....yes. and it never ends. We have to break that loop. I know it can be hard to face the unexpected triggers, but if we work on the ERP, in the end we can learn to handle even these ones. I have read Brain lock, it is good in many way, but it doesn t teach ERP very well. I can recommend for example "The ACT Workbook for OCD", or "The mindfulness workbook for OCD" or check out IOCDFs webbsite for resources. I can also recommend ERP school by Kimberley Quinlan, a resource online (you have to pay for it), its very pedagogical and you learn the basics of ERP.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hello, i have very severe contamination ocd, and as i am writing this i feel my hands are dirty lol, but anyways i wanted to know if there’s anyone specialised in Contamination ocd? No matter what type because i really need help and i looked up things but it doesn’t help please!!
- Date posted
- 24w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
- Date posted
- 14w
Hello! I’m new here. Unfortunately I’m not able to afford a therapist but I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think a lot of my symptoms/thoughts align with OCD. I want to share some of what I experience and see if anyone else experiences the same and what resources helped you. I think I mostly experience contamination OCD. I’m constantly worried that something I do/touch is going to make me really sick and/or die. Especially with food, I’m constantly worried that I’ll accidentally have something on my hands when I eat, then I’ll touch the food and get that on the food, eat it and get sick. So I’ll wash my hands every time my hands touch any little tiny thing again and again before I eat, same with any forks/spoons, or I’ll even think I touched cleaner a few hours ago and I’ve washed my hands several times since then and I just washed them again but they still feel dirty so even if impractical I’ll use a fork and if my hands touch the part of the fork that touches the food then I can’t eat the food any longer or use that fork. Also at work I have these thoughts that I know are ridiculous but also give me very real anxiety. Like “if I don’t finish this order before that machine beeps its a sign I’m going to die” and then I have to rush to make sure I finish fast and then I’ll be like ok that’s so stressful I’m not going to think like that any more it’s ridiculous but then the thoughts keep coming back so I have to keep rushing. This is just a little tad bit of what I experience and I would love to hear from others as I haven’t met anyone else like me before. Thank you!
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