js94

Date posted: 5y

Im really in a dark place, I just got my second DUI for alcohol and my mom died in July unexpectedly. I've suffered with HOCD for 7 years now and im losing the will to live. I've almost lost everything. I could possibly go to jail too. I don't think my life is worth living anymore and it would be better if I were just dead. I went to my lawyer today and he wants 7500$ to take my case yet i have no money. I'd love to just talk to anyone, I feel very alone

Kels__

Date posted: 5y

Hello! Please know you’re not alone. The stress and anxiety of a second dui is awful to be simply put. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother and am here if you ever wanted to talk. I know from my experience there feels like no light at the end of tunnel. I promise there is. I just reached the end of a long process from my second dui and there is hope and you can get through it. It’s hard and challenging, but it was worth getting through. Please feel free to reach out to me or please use one of the other resources posted in the comments. You matter. Your life and your future are worth fighting for.♥️

Fear Strikes...

Date posted: 5y

Great advice!

js94

Date posted: 5y

Howd you get through it ?? Thanks for the support

Kels__

Date posted: 5y

@js94 I had to get brutally honest with myself about my drinking habits and get help. I was in therapy before I got it due to substance abuse previously. Obviously I had slips from therapy and even after the dui. I am tremendously grateful for my dui because I got pulled over before anybody got hurt. This brings me a great struggle dealing with knowing my actions could have potentially hurt someone, even killed someone. The fact that I got pulled over before that has made me extremely grateful and has brought me a sense of peace. What really helped me was getting put into program through my state where Randoms drug tests were taken . This helped keep me honest with myself and after a year of being sober I saw how much damage I was doing not only to myself but those who love me. This realization hurt, but brought me to the realization if I want to change how I’m affecting others I need to change myself and hold myself accountable. Taking accountability for what you did is the first step in moving forward. Accepting you made a mistake and that there are consequences you now need to face is hard. But it’s possible. I recommend getting a lawyer, possibly one that offers a payment plan when you’re looking if money is tight. I didn’t have one for my first one and I wish I would have. Seeing a therapist and developing a strong support system is important. AA can be great, sometimes maybe try a few different meetings to find what works best for you. I would be happy to be part of your support system if you’d like! Self care and self compassion are EXTREMELY important during this time. I hate self compassion and struggle with it greatly but it is what I needed most during this time. Please feel free to reach out to me anytime with questions or for support or just a chat

js94

Date posted: 5y

@Kels__ Thank you for your advice. Im glad you r doing better and that I can relate to you. You're doing awesome!

Fear Strikes...

Date posted: 5y

@Kels__ I can really sense your genuine desire to impart wisdom from your own journey and be a source of support for js94. Well done! And, you just never know who else is reading your posts who might also be suffering from the consequences of alcohol abuse or addiction in their life.

Kels__

Date posted: 5y

@Fear Strikes Out Thank you. I struggled with substance abuse and the legal consequences that tend to follow and it was a very difficult time between feeling alone and hopeless. There were too many dark times and having someone who can relate I feel would have helped at least a little.

js94

Date posted: 5y

@Kels__ If you have instagram or snapchat, can u reach out ? My sc is sobes31 and ig is _sobes

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

I think I remember your post about your mom. I’m so sorry. That, on top of the years of OCD, the struggle with alcohol, the legal issues, the money issues—this all sounds really, really difficult.

Fear Strikes...

Date posted: 5y

But definitely not insurmountable.

Fear Strikes...

Date posted: 5y

What's your emotional support network look like (family, friends, clergy, etc.)? The sooner you accept personal responsibility for the DUI and accept the legal consequences forthcoming (i.e., punishment that is meted out by the court), the sooner you can put your life on a course that does not involve using alcohol to momentarily numb the uncomfortable emotions you are feeling from the loss of your mom and anything else in your life. I am assuming that you did not physically harm anybody, including yourself. If so, you can take a lot of comfort in that outcome. You will get beyond what has recently happened. But, it will be up to you how you respond from this point forward. One day you might even look back and tell yourself how grateful you are that you did not kill someone. This second DUI could prove to be the catalyst for turning your life around. All the best!!

js94

Date posted: 5y

Thank you , but no I didn't hurt anyone or myself either time, I am grateful for that

yrstol

Date posted: 5y

Sorry to hear friend, I will pray for you know that you matter and your life is worth living. I know sometimes life gets really complicated and the weeds grow and tangle you up but you will make it.

Gaby

Date posted: 5y

I’m so sorry I know how hard it is, I mean I’m not in the same exact situation as you but I can feel your pain. Just know this is not the end. You can’t give up. You weren’t meant to exist on earth to suffer and then just die. You have to keep on living keep fighting, you deserve better. Just have hope! If you don’t feel safe please call a suicide/crisis hotline please please.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

This sounds like a really hard time. As others have said, if you are in a crisis please call a crisis line. I know it’s hard, but if it helps, people make it through even the hardest times. You can make it through this. Life is worth fighting for.

Theo

Date posted: 5y

Stay strong, it will get better

luchalysol

Date posted: 5y

Im here to talk

js94

Date posted: 5y

Life's just too hard my friends =/

Lunetta

Date posted: 5y

Please go to your local ER, or call a crisis team. We are all here for you and want you to feel better ❤️ your life can still turn around, so long as you are here to live it. Mine did.

js94

Date posted: 5y

@Lunetta What happened to you

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