benno
- Date posted
- 4y
Jack41Jack41
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi. I never post anything online but your situation is exactly like mine and I wanted to show you’re not alone. I’m older now but it began with a girl I thought to be “icky” in middle school. The thoughts have attached to a few different people throughout the years, and each time the previous person will no longer bother me. Just like you, I felt appalled at myself that I would have these issues with people, and just like you, anyone unkempt looking could raise my obsessive thoughts to some degree. I’m not an expert but it seems to me “emotional” OCD is fear you will take on attributes of the person you have an issue with. This doesn’t seem to be the case with me. However there is a difference between disease contamination and disgust contamination where it’s simply the feeling that seems unbearable. I used to call it the “essence” until I realized “disgust” is actually a term used in the field. So maybe that’s the case with you as well. In any case, treatment is the same. I’ve had success with ERP. However it took a while to find someone who specialized in OCD and anxiety disorders that could really help, and medicine can take the edge off to allow you to tackle the exposures. I’ve had setbacks but I blame that on my own carelessness. Again, a person trained for OCD specifically can do wonders.
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y
Welcome 😊 what you're describing reminds me of "emotional contamination". Here's an article about it. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/emotional-contamination/#:~:text=Emotional%20contamination%20is%20a%20lesser,somehow%20contaminate%20and%20endanger%20him. What similarities and differences do you notice between what's talked about in the article and what you're experiencing?
bennobenno
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi there Yes I have actually read this article before and I do notice the similarities for sure, although I know this imaginary contamination will not cause harm to me I can’t stand the thought of contaminating my space / stuff with it , I just don’t manage to see past it and it all seems so real to me , she was just a unattractive kid at my school I don’t understand why I’m so fixated on it
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y
There's a disconnect between what you know logically and what you feel
bennobenno
- Date posted
- 4y
How can I overcome that tho iv tried exposure therapy etc with no luck yet
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y
When you've done exposures, have you done response prevention as well?
bennobenno
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey mate, thankyou very much for reaching out, for years I have felt very alone and the only one with this type of OCD, our ocd does seem very similar and when I was younger my obsession too would jump from person to person, nowadays it’s fixated on the one unattractive girl who went to my school, and I connect a trail of contamination to her with almost everything it drives me nuts and I feel compelled to do decontamination rituals , I too describe it as essence or presence of that person and like you say the thought of been contaminated by her is unbearable, I have just started to see a new ocd specialist and combined with meds im going to give the erp another good crack , I hope all is going well with you and you are able to beat this OCD
Related posts
Mcd101057
- Date posted
- 23w
Intrusive thoughts after masturbation
Dose anyone else experience that your OCD calms down and goes to the back of your mind during- feels almost safe and unaware of it but as soon as it's over and youve calmed down all the intrusive thoughts come rushing back 10x worse? I've had really awful panic attacks because of it the past two nights and it's exhausting I haven't been with another person in over a year because of how bad it was after and not being able to explain it properly to partners "no I'm not crying because of you" "no you didn't do anything wrong" I feel insane- like I'll never be able to have a normal functioning sexual time alone or with others do to it the compulsions that come with it are exhausting it's like the need to cleanse myself of filth like I'm disgusting and horrible until there's no traces I did anything in the first place I'm just so tired dose anyone have any tips of how to work through this- or at least be able to enjoy myself without crying afterwords? I have no idea what subtype this would even entail? I'm going to go with contamination I guess ?
Jack03
- Date posted
- 19w
Is this OCD?
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
Jesus Is Kin...
- Date posted
- 18w
Anyone
Any Christian’s with religion ocd and relationship ocd I feel so alone
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