Just talked to my therapist and he said that I'll have to accept that I'll live the rest of my life with that thought. Although it seems extremely unsatisfying, it may be the only thing that really works. I've been discussing my fear from every angle and every time I feel relief, the doubts come back after a short time. So I can't solve it. I can't forget it. I can't tell it because it probably will be a compulsion and it would only hurt my partner. But I feel so disgusted by myself. Like I am making my OCD up to not have to tell my bf the truth about my stupid thoughts...

You might live with the thought forever, but you might not live with the *feeling* Remember, intrusive thoughts are normal and everyone gets them. OCD is an anxiety disorder, not a delusional disorder. Our problem is that we have a strong and persistent fearful reaction to our intrusive thoughts. The *feeling* is what makes the thought grow into an obsession, which in turn intensifies the feeling. The point of therapeutic intervention isn’t to control our thoughts, which I’m pretty sure is impossible anyway. It’s to ease the anxiety. Our emotional being need to be trained to witness an intrusive thought, say “yikes,” and move on with our lives.

We focus on the “content” of intrusive thoughts, when we should really be focusing on the way we process the thoughts. Those thoughts scare us and activate the flight, fight or freeze response in our bodies. We react by doing some type of compulsive behavior to get relief. So, it’s not the “content” of your thoughts that mean anything at all but how you process and react to them. If you process them as true thoughts and spend energy on the reactions, you will perpetuate the vicious cycle of OCD.

I have this exact same feeling. Lime even when I start to feel a little bit ok, that doubt and anxiety is still there and I sit depressed thinking I cant change anything that I've done and if anyone knew the real me but like you say we just have to accept it.

I feel like it's so unfair!!! I told him that I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life... I know that, once I accept it, I'm more likely to move on and will not have the thought for the rest of my life, but this wouldn't be accepting to have the thought...