"zOCD false memories" HI... I'm so sorry for bothering you... I'm not looking for reassurence, not at all. Just some sympathy? I have the strangest and ugliest feeling that I may have done sexual things to my pets but I just forgot about them. I truly don't remember ever doing anything wrong or weird to them, but that feeling doesn't vanish... Everytime I look at them, that feeling resurfaces. I continue to interact with them (exposure i guess) but this feeling doesn't get any smaller... Am I the only one? It helps me a lot to know I'm not alone... Or that this is normal in ocd. I feel that feeling similar to "whenever you leave the house, you feel like you forgot something but you go through your belongings and nothing is amiss but that feeling doesn't vanish" I guess the reason why I am so worried about it is... If something actually happened, I have to kill myself... I keep thinking about about possible scenarios and see if anything could have happened but I remember nothing...

"Pure" OCD

Username: b2192b2192

Date posted: 4y ago

Put it this way I did do something with my pet and I deal with real event ocd and I regret it every single day. I didn't have sex with it but It still wasnt appropriate. I still question wether my brain has created the memory but i feel too sure this happened. We all make mistakes, some we are deeply ashamed of. I second what the other guy said just accept it may or may not have happened. I actually got reported to the police from people a mental health team who crossed the line The police questioned me but said it wasnt illegal and that I just needed to concentrate on getting my mental health better. Even after they told me i wasnt getting licked up etc i still felt like i needed to be punished and felt so ashamed but it doesnt change anything. I know I am a good person and I know that's not who I am. Our past does not have to define who we are.

Username: b2192b2192

Date posted: 4y ago

@jumac No I rang a crisis line, they arent exactly the best trained in this area. But I was told after that they took it too far and I should never have been reported.

Username: b2192b2192

Date posted: 4y ago

Locked up*

Username: FathomableFathomable

Date posted: 4y ago

This is really typical for OCD. Especially going through scenarios and what you might have been thinking/feeling and you don't actually remember doing something wrong and the evidence doesn't say it but the feeling is strong that you've done SOMETHING wrong along a set of lines which is the theme, like one these different scenarios could be true, or a variation. Have 100% been there. It's actually the same thing as how OCD has us going through our CURRENT feelings and motivations and second guessing them, except projected onto the past which is even more of a murky thing. I've felt exactly how you've felt with the "if something happened I have to kill myself" though and for that it can really help to do work on self compassion. If a friend said to you (I DONT recommend confessing btw, usually it's not true and it definitely doesn't help you feel better it just gives you more to worry about) that they'd done your feared scenario, would you be able to recognise that as something painful from their past which doesn't actually change all their current qualities? Would it really make you not want to know them, would you be heartless enough to prioritise the stigma or other people's judgement over their value as a person or a friend?

Username: Daisy102Daisy102

Date posted: 4y ago

Hey girlie. I second what they said. 💕💕 I dont have much to add but I love you and I truly believe you can get past this even though it sucks.

Username: myocdstory

Date posted: 4y ago

"pOCD and zOCD false memories" I'm so sorry for venting... I need help... Or just someone to lend me an ear. I'm suffering from really serious, really bad false memories that are not only illegal but also make me feel like a monster. Basically, my false memories are extended to these two topics only and are always of a sexual nature. 1. That I used my pets as tools to obtain sexual gratification. (and or touched them) 2. That I touched a child (during an actual real event) inappropriately. I don't have images for these false memories... It's more fears than anything else! I feel like I forgot about them or I'm just in denial. The 1st one comes from a situation where I masturb- near my cat. (she was in my bed but I can't recall where she was standing). There's also another situation that I have also masturb- near my dog but in this case, she wasn't near me. Just in the same room as me, in separate beds. The 2nd is from a real event where I played with this child in the pool. I can only remember one physical interaction that was giving her a piggyback ride. In conclusion, I'm so afraid these are real and if they are real, then I should be punished! I don't want to go to jail because I'm terrified of that place so the only option is to kill myself. I don't deserve to be happy or even alive...

Username: Yeye123

Date posted: 1y ago

Harm ocd?? Past things.

I wanna cry, when I was a kid,like a toddler. 4-6 maybe. I used to do horrible things to my cat, I choked it twice.my bdother did too if I remember right, but still. Ik this isn’t false memory. I’m 100% sure I ddi this as a kid. But now looking back at it I’m like wtf??? But I’m scared because whenever I see animals hurt now or accidentally hurt my animal that thing pops up in my head again and I feel weird. I can’t explain the feeling but it bothers me so bad. I want to cry. I don’t like this, i rlly feel like I’m a bad person. Idek if this is ocd. What if I genuinely have mental problems???

Username: kyleohill

Date posted: 37w ago

First post

Hey, this is my first post and I just need to get this off my chest. I’ve been suffering since 2019 now which feels like forever and in fact makes it feel more real as I can now remember back to times where I was struggling with this. I have had periods of calm but seem to have a flare up every year. I am yet to receive therapy but have been on Zoloft and am currently on Prozac. I am really disturbed by an image in my head that I may have done something sexually inappropriate with one of my dogs and have been suffering with this for years. I can’t work out if it’s a memory or not as it’s hazy but the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. It confuses me as I feel like if it had happened I would’ve felt guilty at the time and not just remembered it years later. I’ve always found bestiality abhorrent and can’t understand why I have the image and feeling of me doing this. He has recently passed away which caused a massive relapse as I’m now constantly upset that I can’t remember him properly and whenever I think of him I just get triggered which is distressing as I love him so much. I haven’t been able to get over this and just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I’m terrified of myself. I can’t tell my friends or family as I’m so ashamed by the content of my suffering and I feel so alone

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