"zOCD false memories" HI... I'm so sorry for bothering you... I'm not looking for reassurence, not at all. Just some sympathy? I have the strangest and ugliest feeling that I may have done sexual things to my pets but I just forgot about them. I truly don't remember ever doing anything wrong or weird to them, but that feeling doesn't vanish... Everytime I look at them, that feeling resurfaces. I continue to interact with them (exposure i guess) but this feeling doesn't get any smaller... Am I the only one? It helps me a lot to know I'm not alone... Or that this is normal in ocd. I feel that feeling similar to "whenever you leave the house, you feel like you forgot something but you go through your belongings and nothing is amiss but that feeling doesn't vanish" I guess the reason why I am so worried about it is... If something actually happened, I have to kill myself... I keep thinking about about possible scenarios and see if anything could have happened but I remember nothing...

Put it this way I did do something with my pet and I deal with real event ocd and I regret it every single day. I didn't have sex with it but It still wasnt appropriate. I still question wether my brain has created the memory but i feel too sure this happened. We all make mistakes, some we are deeply ashamed of. I second what the other guy said just accept it may or may not have happened. I actually got reported to the police from people a mental health team who crossed the line The police questioned me but said it wasnt illegal and that I just needed to concentrate on getting my mental health better. Even after they told me i wasnt getting licked up etc i still felt like i needed to be punished and felt so ashamed but it doesnt change anything. I know I am a good person and I know that's not who I am. Our past does not have to define who we are.

Locked up*

This is really typical for OCD. Especially going through scenarios and what you might have been thinking/feeling and you don't actually remember doing something wrong and the evidence doesn't say it but the feeling is strong that you've done SOMETHING wrong along a set of lines which is the theme, like one these different scenarios could be true, or a variation. Have 100% been there. It's actually the same thing as how OCD has us going through our CURRENT feelings and motivations and second guessing them, except projected onto the past which is even more of a murky thing. I've felt exactly how you've felt with the "if something happened I have to kill myself" though and for that it can really help to do work on self compassion. If a friend said to you (I DONT recommend confessing btw, usually it's not true and it definitely doesn't help you feel better it just gives you more to worry about) that they'd done your feared scenario, would you be able to recognise that as something painful from their past which doesn't actually change all their current qualities? Would it really make you not want to know them, would you be heartless enough to prioritise the stigma or other people's judgement over their value as a person or a friend?

Hey girlie. I second what they said. 💕💕 I dont have much to add but I love you and I truly believe you can get past this even though it sucks.