im about to hve a anxiety attack u guys im sleeping in a dark room and im looking at the ceiling and its dark but it lookedd like the shadows were moving nand im so scared of having schizophrenia u guys plessde is that normal im about to have a anxiety attack

so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out

Bro I'm scared rn, so there was a compulsion I did like 2hrs ago and I didn't do it properly cuz I kept getting a thought saying "something is gonna come in Ur room and kill you or you will have this illness It triggers me to say it but I froze because I kept seeing like a shadow and cuz I was home alone and it's dark so I didn't answer it 😃 and cuz I answered it late saying obviously I don't want to illness I would rather have the other (half of me knows it's not real), and I prayed 4 times as well cuz I didn't do the compulsion properly I tried doing it again logs if times and 1 hour later I tried again but It still didn't feel right, and now the thought is hurting my body a little and I feel shivery, and I have tried doing the compulsion but it's not working. Why can't these thighs just leave me alone and stop saying about illnesses all the time. And idk how I'm gonna get thru the night cuz I can't get the thought out of my head and I won't be able to do anything properly.

I think I do have schizophrenia honestly it explains why I feel like people can look at me through my window in which I had to put dark curtains and even with the dark curtains, I feel like people can still see me through the window and through the window bathroom even though the window is frosted or texture looking and even when I walk around the living room, I have to close the curtains because I feel like I’m doing something inappropriate and kids are staring at me sometimes I forget how to speak and my words are disorganized I feel like people plan stuff to kill me or the men in the street have r worded me sometimes I’m convinced my 8 year old brother is planning stuff or taking pictures of me or has done something to me in my sleep then feeling like I hear whispering When u was in high school I use to cry because people stared at me all the time omg it’s all making sense