- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh I didn't understand clearly that ALL of those emotions and thoughts in your original post were about your boyfriend. Nor did I know you deal with R.O.C.D. (relationship ocd?) It certainly would be nice if someone with more experience with that would comment since I'm pretty clueless. Just keep being kind to yourself. Practice writing out your thoughts and working through your feelings that way. Meditation also helps to calm the nervous system.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, I will keep working on it š
- Date posted
- 4y
Amen
- Date posted
- 4y
We can make it through, we're strong
- Date posted
- 4y
I saw you made another post asking for advice on this so I came here to read it. To be completely honest, I don't know you or your situation well enough to give you a well rounded answer. If you make your question(s) more specific that would be helpful. But I will try....... I think it is very important for every human to try to find themselves "whole" and never look for it in another human. They can help get you there but they cannot grow or heal the parts of you that need it. That is a job only we as individuals can do. It also sounds like you may be dealing with a lot and are going through a slew of emotions and challenges. I think that can be normal for anyone. I would definitely consider therapy if you have not and also depending on where/how you are in your relationship with your boyfriend, consider asking him to sit down and tell him you need someone to listen.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hello ! I know that my wholeness should be found within me, don't worry, I am working on it too. However, I don't see how your message answers my question, which I think couldn't be more specific since it is formulated as I think it : how can you handle the anxiety rising when, after feeling in love and happy, you can also feel neutral, friendly or angry toward your SO ? I am with my boyfriend for a bit more than 3 years now and have talked to him about my anxiety/rocd very soon after it started, that is to say approximately in June and I have worked on it since then, him trying to help when he can, and I made big progresses since it started and we continue to talk about it when needed. I just need a little help on how to manage my anxiety regarding the fact that feelings fluctuate during the days :) Thank you for your time though, I I appreciate it
- Date posted
- 4y
What helped me was talking to others and realizing that all relationships have up and down moments throughout the day, itās not a normal feeling for someone to feel in love at all times. You are safe to feel negative and neutral thoughts about your so. Even the most successful relationships have these moments. Relationships are not black and white. Also, youāre feelings change thought out the day depending on a lot of things. Are you hungry? Have you slept well? Did you have a good day at school/work? Have you had enough water? Make sure to take care of your basic needs. Itās not that your thoughts/feelings are wrong. Itās the power you give them which causes anxiety. Sit with the uncertainty, it will be really uncomfortable but after sitting with it over and over again you will realize you are soo strong and you can handle negative feelings about your partner. Are you suppose to be with them? Maybe yes, maybe no. That was my matra.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for this tip ! š I will continue to try and sit with the incertainty and the uncomfortable thoughts/feelings. It is difficult tho', as I don't want to talk to my family about my condition (I am afraid that they would cause more anxiety and doubting as they aren't familiar with rocd), and I don't really have friends who are dating someone for a good amount of time to share my feelings and thoughts with. Sometimes I which I could have a conversation with someone who experiences the same as me. š
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions ā I didnāt open NOCD, I didnāt text ChatGPT, I didnāt Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didnāt have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, āThis is how the cycle starts again.ā That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, āWhat if this time itās real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth ā that I donāt love him?ā It scared me because I wasnāt panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that ātruth feels calm,ā and now that I wasnāt reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, āWhat if this is the calm that comes with realization?ā Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, Iām scared all over again. When we cuddle, I donāt feel the same. I donāt feel that warmth, and I donāt know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him ā because Iāve had these thoughts for so long, itās like I canāt remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, āMaybe I just donāt like him right now,ā and I wasnāt panicking ā and that scared me. Iām afraid that Iām finally ārealizing the truth,ā or that Iāve been lying to myself and Iām just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasnāt really reacting to his love, and now I donāt even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity ā but Iām terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
- Date posted
- 20w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didnāt spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. Iām scared that I donāt love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. Heās a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping Iāll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, āWhat if I heal and then realize I donāt love him?ā or āWhat if Iām only staying because I feel safe with him or Iām used to him?ā I feel numb sometimes, or like Iām pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I donāt know whatās real or whatās ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 19w
Lately, Iāve been feeling like something has changed in me ā like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. Itās one of the worst sensations Iāve ever felt. I keep thinking things like āI donāt love him like beforeā or āIāve changed too much to feel anything now.ā Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like Iām being mean, cold, disconnected ā and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now⦠I just donāt feel the same. That makes me think: āMaybe Iāve fallen out of love.ā But Iām also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I canāt relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is āright.ā It makes me wonder ā maybe I havenāt actually changed. Maybe Iām just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I donāt know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isnāt proof that love is gone, but a sign that Iām scared and burnt out.
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