- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh I didn't understand clearly that ALL of those emotions and thoughts in your original post were about your boyfriend. Nor did I know you deal with R.O.C.D. (relationship ocd?) It certainly would be nice if someone with more experience with that would comment since I'm pretty clueless. Just keep being kind to yourself. Practice writing out your thoughts and working through your feelings that way. Meditation also helps to calm the nervous system.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, I will keep working on it 😊
- Date posted
- 4y
Amen
- Date posted
- 4y
We can make it through, we're strong
- Date posted
- 4y
I saw you made another post asking for advice on this so I came here to read it. To be completely honest, I don't know you or your situation well enough to give you a well rounded answer. If you make your question(s) more specific that would be helpful. But I will try....... I think it is very important for every human to try to find themselves "whole" and never look for it in another human. They can help get you there but they cannot grow or heal the parts of you that need it. That is a job only we as individuals can do. It also sounds like you may be dealing with a lot and are going through a slew of emotions and challenges. I think that can be normal for anyone. I would definitely consider therapy if you have not and also depending on where/how you are in your relationship with your boyfriend, consider asking him to sit down and tell him you need someone to listen.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hello ! I know that my wholeness should be found within me, don't worry, I am working on it too. However, I don't see how your message answers my question, which I think couldn't be more specific since it is formulated as I think it : how can you handle the anxiety rising when, after feeling in love and happy, you can also feel neutral, friendly or angry toward your SO ? I am with my boyfriend for a bit more than 3 years now and have talked to him about my anxiety/rocd very soon after it started, that is to say approximately in June and I have worked on it since then, him trying to help when he can, and I made big progresses since it started and we continue to talk about it when needed. I just need a little help on how to manage my anxiety regarding the fact that feelings fluctuate during the days :) Thank you for your time though, I I appreciate it
- Date posted
- 4y
What helped me was talking to others and realizing that all relationships have up and down moments throughout the day, it’s not a normal feeling for someone to feel in love at all times. You are safe to feel negative and neutral thoughts about your so. Even the most successful relationships have these moments. Relationships are not black and white. Also, you’re feelings change thought out the day depending on a lot of things. Are you hungry? Have you slept well? Did you have a good day at school/work? Have you had enough water? Make sure to take care of your basic needs. It’s not that your thoughts/feelings are wrong. It’s the power you give them which causes anxiety. Sit with the uncertainty, it will be really uncomfortable but after sitting with it over and over again you will realize you are soo strong and you can handle negative feelings about your partner. Are you suppose to be with them? Maybe yes, maybe no. That was my matra.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for this tip ! 😊 I will continue to try and sit with the incertainty and the uncomfortable thoughts/feelings. It is difficult tho', as I don't want to talk to my family about my condition (I am afraid that they would cause more anxiety and doubting as they aren't familiar with rocd), and I don't really have friends who are dating someone for a good amount of time to share my feelings and thoughts with. Sometimes I which I could have a conversation with someone who experiences the same as me. 😅
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
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