Hello everyone ! I am making progress little by little, even if I go through some relapses sometimes. HOWEVER, I would like some tips about how to handle this kind of situation : Throughout a few days, I can feel in love, I can feel affectionne and deep care, I can feel angry and stressed-out, I can feel intimate or not at all, I can feel just friendly and I can feel neutral toward my boyfriend. How can I handle the anxiety rising when the feelings are not positive (or what I think should be feelings associated to love) ? These makes me go back to the old question of "love or affection or just needy ?" and I don't like that. Thank you for reading me, I hope you are doing fine and I know we can make it through !

Oh I didn't understand clearly that ALL of those emotions and thoughts in your original post were about your boyfriend. Nor did I know you deal with R.O.C.D. (relationship ocd?) It certainly would be nice if someone with more experience with that would comment since I'm pretty clueless. Just keep being kind to yourself. Practice writing out your thoughts and working through your feelings that way. Meditation also helps to calm the nervous system.

Amen

I saw you made another post asking for advice on this so I came here to read it. To be completely honest, I don't know you or your situation well enough to give you a well rounded answer. If you make your question(s) more specific that would be helpful. But I will try....... I think it is very important for every human to try to find themselves "whole" and never look for it in another human. They can help get you there but they cannot grow or heal the parts of you that need it. That is a job only we as individuals can do. It also sounds like you may be dealing with a lot and are going through a slew of emotions and challenges. I think that can be normal for anyone. I would definitely consider therapy if you have not and also depending on where/how you are in your relationship with your boyfriend, consider asking him to sit down and tell him you need someone to listen.

What helped me was talking to others and realizing that all relationships have up and down moments throughout the day, it’s not a normal feeling for someone to feel in love at all times. You are safe to feel negative and neutral thoughts about your so. Even the most successful relationships have these moments. Relationships are not black and white. Also, you’re feelings change thought out the day depending on a lot of things. Are you hungry? Have you slept well? Did you have a good day at school/work? Have you had enough water? Make sure to take care of your basic needs. It’s not that your thoughts/feelings are wrong. It’s the power you give them which causes anxiety. Sit with the uncertainty, it will be really uncomfortable but after sitting with it over and over again you will realize you are soo strong and you can handle negative feelings about your partner. Are you suppose to be with them? Maybe yes, maybe no. That was my matra.