Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
hiii hiii
- Date posted
- 5y
so you have HOCD? If you are constantly having repetitive thoughts fearing about being gay or if you are always aware of your actions and how you feel around certain people etc it could most likely be hocd, it could also be denial, which is the confusing thing about it all because OCD can twist you around and make you believe or feel things that don't reflect the real person you are and it sounds really tough. It's hard to figure out everything when you feel this way. I wish I could help you but there is really nothing I can do except be here for you, if you ever want anyone to listen to how you feel, you can always talk to me! . Life seems pointless at times, and trust me I've felt the same thing but I really hope you stay. You can't force a positive mindset but you can always try and do things that make you happy each day, you might not have the motivation but surround yourself with people who give off positive energy and people who lift you up, music really helps me and it seems so tough to get your mind off things when your mind is constantly racing with thoughts but try your best. I'm not telling you to ignore the situation or to stop thinking about it cause i know how annoying it is when people say things like that but I really hope the best for you. The only thing that you can do right now to move a step closer to feeling better is to seek help from a psychiatrist or someone specialised in hocd therapy if that is what you think you have because they can help you feel better. I'm so proud of how far you've come, stay strong <3
hiii hiii
- Date posted
- 5y
what's up?
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
This is making me think im gay im so confused. Im cant live like this
OCDMum87OCDMum87
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey - you need to try and refocus on other activities. Accept the thoughts and carry on doing normal activities. And seek therapy!
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
I cant im so depressed
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
its making me think i kind of like the thoughts and want to be with a man. I woke up thinking about a man im so confused. Im scared im going to lose my family 😞
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou. Im just terrified its denial. I never had 1 gay thought until i was 22 all of a suddenly after a night out with freinds it was like bang! Your gay. Ive been on flouxetine for 16 years only 20mg after a rough summer all them years ago. I was copeing well still having thoughts but was able to brush them off and lead a fairly normal and happy life. And Ive always loved women probably more than i ever could. Im 37 now and i stoped my medication for 3 months recently and my whole world has been turned upside down I cant function properly and im depressed. Ive started back on the medication for about 2 and a half months now and i dont feel any better yet im up to 60mg now so scared this is it for me. This is with me all day in everything i do and say i feel like giving up
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 5y
What about trying a new medication? This isn't it for you brother
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
Flouxetine is 1 of the best tho ive heard. Is it normal for your attraction to women to fall off the planet. I hate this
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand i hate my ocd too. If your 37 and have loved women your whole life i don't believe all of a sudden u would lose attraction. Ocd isn't logical and what your going through doesn't seem logical
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
😞
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
Anyone ?
OCDMum87OCDMum87
- Date posted
- 5y
You’re looking for reassurance but we can’t give you that. Go back to your doctor - discuss medication and therapy. Read a self help book and try and put into practice some of the guidance. I KNOW how hard it is but you have to try and refocus and do something else.
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 5y
Ive gone up to 60mg of my flouxetine hope this helps
Related posts
ivefailed.
- Date posted
- 20w
im afraid and alone
wrote a very triggering post. this wasnt supposed to happen. im starting to believe that i'm a ****phile that suppress its feelings. "Our brains are wired to respond to certain stimuli, like attractiveness, quickly and automatically. This can happen even if we don't consciously want to feel that way. In your case, the combination of the trigger and your brain's automatic reaction might have contributed to the discomfort you felt." but it's wrong. it wasnt supposed to happen. it shouldn't be allowed in my brain to perceive the look of attractiveness in the legs and body of someone that looked so young... i didnt have desire for it though. i was disturbed and distressed when it happened and as i felt and noticed this perception and reaction. it's crazy to think that none of this would have happened if i didnt trigger myself in 2021 at 16 years old.
Givenup
- Date posted
- 18w
Realizations
Ive also realized... if it's my own fault I have POCD and Real Events OCD to begin with... because of the genuinely horrible real events I've done... then why should I even feel any ounce of sympathy for myself? I don't feel sorry for myself because why would I feel sorry for something I hate? It's my fault right? I did this to myself so I face the consequences... thats how the world works right? I did so many bad things as a teen, so the karma finally catches up to me... right? So yeah... I deserve this... all of this... it's so funny... thinking I deserve a happy life... its all just one big joke... my life is a joke... but jokes at least have a purpose and make people laugh. People do laugh. At me, and not with me. So yeah. I deserve this. All of this. I accept it. I accept it all. Come take me god. Cause I dont want to be here in this world anymore.
Givenup
- Date posted
- 16w
One more...
UPDATE: ive TRIED to reduce my posts to once per day in hopes of trying to overcome this... but right now... i genuinely feel so horrible and anxious that i need to post... (For context, in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent a n00d to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly explicitly chatted wjth a minor... i know that this is all my fault, but still...) Its making me feel like I cant remember things properly... making me think i unknowingly explicitly chatted with a minor online or being catfished by a man or kid... making me question every woman Ive ever been flirted with or explicitly chatted with... intrusive thoughts of me "explicitly cybering with a minor or a man" and of me going to jail because my worst fear of "unknowingly cybering with a minor(s), or being catfished by one" coming true... im genuinely depressed... and I feel so alone... uncertainty has brought me nothing but hell... and theres no getting out... it feels like im waiting every day for my intrusive thoughts and fears to be proven right, and ending up with me going to jail... I have never felt more alone... I just keep getting intrusive thoughts that one day, when I become famous or get my dream job, im going to get a future moment of any girl I explicitly cybered with in the past, saying... "Hey, I was a minor when we cybered and while you didnt know, im going to get you arrested or cancelled." Or that im gonna get catfished by a dude pretending to be a woman online... I assumed that the women who werent verified on there were 18+ on an explicit chat discord server i was on were adults because of the fact it was an 18+ explicit server, so i assumed everyone was an adult on there... for me, I fear the future everyday... as well as despise my past... I dont belong in this world... Im genuinely scared of the future... and this is honestly why I dont want to be famous or an influencer... Ive also been to literotica, a website dedicated to adult explicit literature... they also have a chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... This is why I dont want to be famous or widely recognized... Because not only do i fear someone will "expose" me for my POCD and my Real Events OCD, but im also scared about this entire situation... (edited)
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