My thoughts and compulsive behaviors were terrible last week, but now it’s like they’ve almost disappeared. I have my first 90-minute session scheduled with my NOCD therapist for next week but now I’m wondering if I even have ocd or if it’s even worth it for me to meet with my NOCD therapist. Does anyone else have experience with this? Did it affect how long it took for you to seek treatment? I know myself and that most likely if I cancel my upcoming session my brain will latch on to some other thoughts and the circular thinking will probably return. But now I’m second guessing myself because with help on the horizon it’s like my brain has pushed all the anxiety to the side and I feel more “normal” than I’ve felt in a while. I also had a brief last meeting with an intern that I was doing telehealth sessions with through a counseling center and when I told her what my anxiety is like and that I suspect that I may have ocd, she basically questioned me and was like “are you sure?” She said “ocd has two components — obsessions AND compulsions, are you sure you have both of them?” And so since that conversation and since some of my recent thoughts have quieted down, I’m wondering if I’m silly for even being here. I also felt really down after my conversation with her because it made me wonder if there was just no one who can help me. I’ve tried talk therapy and I don’t feel like it helped. But maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. Interested to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences in the process of looking for help or if I’m the only one.

Hey I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Before I get to the main point I'm gonna give some background info: I'm going into my third year of University and it took years of constant denial to get treatment . I originally came in for my skin picking but after multiple appointments I was told I have OCD. I never thought I perfectly fit into having it because I was never organized nor am I a "germaphobe". I later learned everything made sens From being afraid to interact with little children (afraid I would assault them just from staring too long), all the way to staying up all night convinced someone would kill me if I didn't hide all the knives in the house. It took me just one month ago to sleep in my bed alone (after I stopped my rituals with my stuffed animals as a kid I was convinced they will harm me when I least expect it, and sleep beside my mother). It even explained why I had somatic rituals when I was a child (constantly balancing the right and left side of my body with repetitive touching until it felt right). Finally, after switching from cipralex (did not help) to Zoloft (currently on 150mg) I feel as thought my life is coming back. The reason I'm feeling distressed is that my main psychiatrist referred me to a CBT waitlist in a hospital. Well I just had a virtual meeting with him today... And he basically asked if I have cleaning rituals. I said no, I told him about my previous compulsions the first time I talked to him and told him the medication has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my anxiety and compulsions that I only do two rituals a day (~3 hours). At the end of the appointment he told me that I DON'T HAVE OCD or anxiety and suggested I go off my meds. Now I'm doubting if I have OCD to begin with, even though I fully know I do as my main psychiatrist has been so caring and making sure I recover. It really sucks because I feel pretty invalidated?? Am I overreacting or in the wrong? I don't know how to feel right now. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

When and how did you first discover you may have OCD? I'm beginning to think OCD is one of the most understudied, misunderstood mental health issues ever. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about 6 years ago after I started suffering from panic attacks, but only just recently discovered my condition could be much more specific than that. I've been suffering from intrusive thoughts and complusions since I was a teenager with a variety of themes. And honestly this app and amazing community has opened my eyes to it. I'm curious if anyone else has had an experience like mine where they were just thrown into the general diagnosis category of just having anxiety and/or depression and is only just now coming to terms with having OCD? What has been your experience with the therapists on this app? I'm using another popular, pricey app for talk therapy at the moment, but so far 4 therapists have ghosted me on it so my confidence is feeling pretty shot. Has talk therapy and working with a therapist on here been successful for you?

I'm currently visiting my third therapist in the last three years and none of them have helped me so far. None of them have given me any type of diagnosis so I'm not even sure if I actually have OCD, and it's driving me mad. The last session I had, I even felt like it made things worse rather that it helped. I wanna feel that trust to my therapist that you should feel to be able to share your emotions but I don't. I feel like its not going anywhere, like it's useless. Lately I've been thinking about finding a therapist here at NOCD, I've even looked up some specific people and they all seem really nice and sweet.