My thoughts and compulsive behaviors were terrible last week, but now it’s like they’ve almost disappeared. I have my first 90-minute session scheduled with my NOCD therapist for next week but now I’m wondering if I even have ocd or if it’s even worth it for me to meet with my NOCD therapist. Does anyone else have experience with this? Did it affect how long it took for you to seek treatment? I know myself and that most likely if I cancel my upcoming session my brain will latch on to some other thoughts and the circular thinking will probably return. But now I’m second guessing myself because with help on the horizon it’s like my brain has pushed all the anxiety to the side and I feel more “normal” than I’ve felt in a while. I also had a brief last meeting with an intern that I was doing telehealth sessions with through a counseling center and when I told her what my anxiety is like and that I suspect that I may have ocd, she basically questioned me and was like “are you sure?” She said “ocd has two components — obsessions AND compulsions, are you sure you have both of them?” And so since that conversation and since some of my recent thoughts have quieted down, I’m wondering if I’m silly for even being here. I also felt really down after my conversation with her because it made me wonder if there was just no one who can help me. I’ve tried talk therapy and I don’t feel like it helped. But maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. Interested to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences in the process of looking for help or if I’m the only one.

I have an appointment this Wednesday and it’s my first one and I’ve been told the first 2 appointments are diagnostic appointments Obviously initially im anxious as I’m sure most people usually are. I’m anxious that I’m going to be told it’s not ocd (classic) and I’m worried I’ve been doing things wrong (in how I handle my ocd) I just wanted to ask if anyone has any pointers or tips for preparing for the first 2 sessions? I want to be honest and be prepared but I also feel anxious to speak about all my intrusions, obsessions etc. Anyways if anyone has any advice I’d appreciate it, Thank you :) Izzy I’m not sure if this is triggering but I included a trigger warning just in case <3

This weekend, my boyfriend came to visit me. Before he arrived, I had so many compulsions—I was constantly seeking reassurance, even talking to ChatGPT right up until he got to my house. When he arrived, I tried to listen to what ChatGPT had told me and focus on being present. Even though I still had intrusive thoughts, I was able to feel better at times—I felt love, I wanted to kiss him, and I had moments of connection. But at the same time, there were moments where he would speak kindly to me or express his feelings, and I would have thoughts like “I don’t care about him” or “I feel nothing.” I didn’t feel the compassion I thought I should, and that scared me. Still, overall, I felt relatively better than usual. I had NOCD uninstalled until now, and on Wednesday, I have my first therapy appointment. But now, I’m doubting whether I even need therapy. I start thinking: “What if I can heal on my own?” or “What if going to therapy is a mistake?” And the worst one: “What if I go and realize I don’t have ROCD, and I actually just don’t like my boyfriend?” My boyfriend keeps trying to help me see things rationally. He told me that I have unrealistic expectations of love and that I don’t need to feel constant affection to be in love. He also told me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t be feeling so much distress about this. And logically, I know that’s true, but intrusive thoughts still scream the opposite. After he left, I started feeling irritated with him when he talked through messages on the gc woth me and my best friend, like I couldn’t stand him, and that thought scared me. I also had moments thinking about that boy from school, that my mind was scared if me thinking about that random boy i dont know because a while ago i was scared of looking at other boys, ghinking im a horible gf . When I kissed my boyfriend, sometimes his image popped into my head, and I felt terrible. My boyfriend tells me that since I feel guilty and distressed, it’s proof that I love him—because I wouldn’t be this anxious if I didn’t care. But then I get thoughts saying the exact opposite. It’s like my mind keeps creating arguments to convince me that my worst fear is real. I’m exhausted

Its been around a year now that ive struggled heavily with intrusive thoughts. I haven’t noticed it in my other years, aside from when i was a young kid. I want to get diagnosed with OCD or try to see what my therapist will say. Ive been summing up the courage to speak about this for months now and i have an appointment on the 26th. I feel like im ready to finally talk about it will someone, yet one thing is holding me back. The doubt. I started struggling HEAVILY with OCD symptoms around march of 2024. I mean rumination, compulsions, shame, disgust, etc. It was one of the worsts points of my like and it cared on from January-Late august of 2024. I was literally in distress everyday of my life. I had constant intrusive thoughts that would go away, and unbearable anxiety. Yet around september hit they started getting EASIER to mange. (remember that, they didnt go away, i just wasnt as effected) I was quite happy i could live a little without pain and that carried from Sept-December 2024. But then January hit again, and everything just seems to flow right back to me. I cant stop thinking about how i used to feel, the pain i was in. Everyday my brain wants me to remember the anguish i was put through. I finally decided i will talk about this to my Therapist. My only doubt is that, everything is much easier for me to deal with, and my anxiety isnt as strong. I still have intrusive thoughts and suffer with performing compulsions, but i dont ruminate anymore. That should be a good thing but my brain tells me that means my feelings arent valid, and i dont have OCD cause things are better. Im sorry for this long read, i just need to get this off my chest. How do i talk to my therapist about wanting to get an evaluation, when most of my main hard aspects in OCD are in the past? (AKA the past i suppressed and shut down)Any help is appreciated. 😕