I think I may be pregnant but it’s still too early to tell. It scares me because I think due to my ocd I may not be a very good mother. I think what if I have to be hospitalized again and can’t be there for my child? Or what if I get the intrusive thoughts about them? The ones about my husband have been coming back slightly but it’s definitely focused on health right now. My friend’s lung collapsed two days ago and she’s my age! (27) and now I’m terrified that it may happen to me or worse I may have a heart attack and die. If I am pregnant I may choose to abort. Idk yet, a part of me thinks that those of us with mental illnesses should be sterilized. I’m curious to know other ppls opinions on this subject...

I have OCD and I’m a mom. I think you need to treat this like anything else in your life and base your decision on your values and in what you want in life. Try to ask yourself - If I didn’t have OCD (I know it’s hard to imagine but it’s essential to do this) would I want kids? If yes - then you need to not follow all the thoughts OCD throws at you. If no - ask yourself how you feel regarding abortion? (If your values are against it, it may negatively affect you to abort but might be easier if your values are not against it). You can still be a great mom despite the OCD! I have been able to understand my children’s needs more than other mom’s because when you suffer from anxiety yourself you understand others’ needs and fears more. My kids have learned to be compassionate because they have seen the struggle of someone close to them. You might have some struggles due to OCD but you’ll see that you can still love through them and your children will love you. It might be a good idea to work with an OCD informed therapist to help you realize whether you want to be a mom or not. It is also normal to be unsure (even without OCD) because it is something new. Do you have a supportive partner?

If you are, let becoming a mother be your inspiration to focus the next 9 months on your mental fitness. Read Mark Freeman’s “You Are Not a Rock” and use it to help you identify your values and the actions you need to take to live by your values. You would be a wonderful mother. People who have been where we have have the empathy and sensitivity to be tremendous parents. Don’t let this be a reason for you to keep delaying taking action toward the things that matter to you.

I think people with mental illness should be able to have children if they want. Unless of course they knew they could or would hurt their children and not be able to control themselves. I know tons of mothers who have babies and their kids are their whole world and they deal with Bipolar, personality disorders, OCD ect... I have felt the same way i sometimes don’t want kids, but i know i would regret it if i never tried out of fear of me passing on OCD or having thoughts about my kids. You can overcome OCD. It doesn’t have to take over your life. You are not a slave to your thoughts and you are stronger than you think. Sometimes you just have to take risks and it could be the best thing you ever did.

My ocd fears are usually about my kids, but still, I don’t regret having them, and I think people with mental illnesses should have kids. We’re just people, and it wouldn’t be fair to treat us different.

@Anxiousashley I love @Wanderway’s advice! Couldn’t agree more!

That’s true. Thank you all for your opinions.