- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have OCD and I’m a mom. I think you need to treat this like anything else in your life and base your decision on your values and in what you want in life. Try to ask yourself - If I didn’t have OCD (I know it’s hard to imagine but it’s essential to do this) would I want kids? If yes - then you need to not follow all the thoughts OCD throws at you. If no - ask yourself how you feel regarding abortion? (If your values are against it, it may negatively affect you to abort but might be easier if your values are not against it). You can still be a great mom despite the OCD! I have been able to understand my children’s needs more than other mom’s because when you suffer from anxiety yourself you understand others’ needs and fears more. My kids have learned to be compassionate because they have seen the struggle of someone close to them. You might have some struggles due to OCD but you’ll see that you can still love through them and your children will love you. It might be a good idea to work with an OCD informed therapist to help you realize whether you want to be a mom or not. It is also normal to be unsure (even without OCD) because it is something new. Do you have a supportive partner?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you are, let becoming a mother be your inspiration to focus the next 9 months on your mental fitness. Read Mark Freeman’s “You Are Not a Rock” and use it to help you identify your values and the actions you need to take to live by your values. You would be a wonderful mother. People who have been where we have have the empathy and sensitivity to be tremendous parents. Don’t let this be a reason for you to keep delaying taking action toward the things that matter to you.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think people with mental illness should be able to have children if they want. Unless of course they knew they could or would hurt their children and not be able to control themselves. I know tons of mothers who have babies and their kids are their whole world and they deal with Bipolar, personality disorders, OCD ect... I have felt the same way i sometimes don’t want kids, but i know i would regret it if i never tried out of fear of me passing on OCD or having thoughts about my kids. You can overcome OCD. It doesn’t have to take over your life. You are not a slave to your thoughts and you are stronger than you think. Sometimes you just have to take risks and it could be the best thing you ever did.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
My ocd fears are usually about my kids, but still, I don’t regret having them, and I think people with mental illnesses should have kids. We’re just people, and it wouldn’t be fair to treat us different.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Anxiousashley I love @Wanderway’s advice! Couldn’t agree more!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s true. Thank you all for your opinions.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Can I please get someone’s opinion on this. I am scared of having my own baby. I’m terrified of the diaper changes. I have the same intrusive thought that I would kiss my child’s genitalia during this. I feel like I could possibly justify it by saying it’s out of love. I’m sure there are parents who have done it in a non sexual way which scares me too. I don’t know if that’s a real possibility but my brain tells me it is. I’m scared that I don’t know if this is right or wrong. And I’m just scared I’ll love my baby so much I won’t see anything wrong with it. I know we’re supposed to sit with uncertainty but this one is killing me and I don’t know how to deal with this.
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- Date posted
- 24w ago
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like I’m missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like it’s completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancé knew that I didn’t want children/ feel like I can’t have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that “people who are abused can become abusers”. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that I’m missing out. So I’m constantly questioning if I truly feel like I don’t want them or if ocd is convincing me I don’t. Ugh. It’s just so frustrating.
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Just to preface this, I’d like to say that I in no way whatsoever intend to judge parents of ocd children or people with ocd that have children. I honestly mean no disrespect with this post, I just really don’t know what to think or do. I wish the best for all of your families, and for all of you struggling with ocd as well. Please don’t let my post influence how you think, all I need is advice if anyone can give me it. Feel free to skip if this is an uncomfortable topic for you. Thank you! I’ve had ocd since I was young, but I hadn’t started thinking about this until recently. I heard that you have a 15-20% chance of passing ocd down to your child. I used to be really uncomfortable at the thought of being pregnant and often had intrusive thoughts trying to convince me I somehow was. I finally got past this and began to look forward to being a mother someday, but now I don’t know. I can’t imagine not having kids, but I’m scared that they’ll have ocd like me. It’s not a crazy high percentage but it still scares me. On one hand I’m like hey, who better to help their kid if they have ocd than a mom who has ocd? But on the other I worry that if they have it, it could worse than mine and that they’ll have a really hard time dealing with it. I hate to say this but it feels a little bit selfish to want to have kids when there’s a chance they’ll get the same disorder I hate so much. Both me and my sister have ocd as well, so I’m scared it’s something that runs in my family. Any advice would be appreciated.
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