- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have OCD and I’m a mom. I think you need to treat this like anything else in your life and base your decision on your values and in what you want in life. Try to ask yourself - If I didn’t have OCD (I know it’s hard to imagine but it’s essential to do this) would I want kids? If yes - then you need to not follow all the thoughts OCD throws at you. If no - ask yourself how you feel regarding abortion? (If your values are against it, it may negatively affect you to abort but might be easier if your values are not against it). You can still be a great mom despite the OCD! I have been able to understand my children’s needs more than other mom’s because when you suffer from anxiety yourself you understand others’ needs and fears more. My kids have learned to be compassionate because they have seen the struggle of someone close to them. You might have some struggles due to OCD but you’ll see that you can still love through them and your children will love you. It might be a good idea to work with an OCD informed therapist to help you realize whether you want to be a mom or not. It is also normal to be unsure (even without OCD) because it is something new. Do you have a supportive partner?
- Date posted
- 6y
If you are, let becoming a mother be your inspiration to focus the next 9 months on your mental fitness. Read Mark Freeman’s “You Are Not a Rock” and use it to help you identify your values and the actions you need to take to live by your values. You would be a wonderful mother. People who have been where we have have the empathy and sensitivity to be tremendous parents. Don’t let this be a reason for you to keep delaying taking action toward the things that matter to you.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think people with mental illness should be able to have children if they want. Unless of course they knew they could or would hurt their children and not be able to control themselves. I know tons of mothers who have babies and their kids are their whole world and they deal with Bipolar, personality disorders, OCD ect... I have felt the same way i sometimes don’t want kids, but i know i would regret it if i never tried out of fear of me passing on OCD or having thoughts about my kids. You can overcome OCD. It doesn’t have to take over your life. You are not a slave to your thoughts and you are stronger than you think. Sometimes you just have to take risks and it could be the best thing you ever did.
- Date posted
- 6y
My ocd fears are usually about my kids, but still, I don’t regret having them, and I think people with mental illnesses should have kids. We’re just people, and it wouldn’t be fair to treat us different.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Anxiousashley I love @Wanderway’s advice! Couldn’t agree more!
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s true. Thank you all for your opinions.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey all, This is so strange to share this, and I have been judged by others and misdiagnosed many times. About a year ago I worked with an OCD therapist and it was really triggering. For me my thoughts are mainly about suicidal ocd and harm ocd centered around my children of all things. Fear that I could or would want to hurt them, then feeling so horrible that I believe I’m suicidal then I go back and forth on that. After reading a few of your posts, it makes me truly have a bit of hope that I can overcome this.
- Date posted
- 14w
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
- Date posted
- 12w
Please read and comment kindly. Really looking for support. My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
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