- Username
- aurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Username
- bay97bay97
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Okay wow I can relate to this so much! It’s comforting to know there’s other people my age going through this
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah definitely you’re not alone!!! I was super hesitant about talking about it bc I honestly haven’t done anything romantic ever in my life, and I’ve been super embarrassed about it for years 😭
- Username
- bay97bay97
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@aurokoi Same!! Like in college I had ‘flings’ and talked to a couple guys but it just never worked out and I completely blame my ocd for it.
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@bay97 It’s not our fault we’re dealing with this!! My OCD didn’t flare up until quarantine, but I’m highly suspicious that I dealt with Existential OCD when I was 16, which yeah, DEFINITELY made it hard to connect with anyone even if I wanted to. But we’re all worthy of love even with OCD bc OCD is just one thing about ourselves, and I know for a fact we’re all people with a lot of potential when this thing isn’t in the forefront.
- Username
- bay97bay97
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@aurokoi I’ve had GAD since I was 10 but started having OCD about 4yrs ago. I agree completely!! I’ve made this thing control my life for so long but now I’m trying to just remind myself it’s only a part of me
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@bay97 Anxiety is just the worst, and I’ve heard it can get very complicated when the two are combined. But the fact that you have the motivation and the drive to get better is something you should feel proud of! The real you is still there.
- Username
- bay97bay97
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@aurokoi Thank you!! It’s so helpful to know I’m not alone with this disorder!
- Username
- thebeginning thebeginning
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Oh my gosh I'm 20, I have never dated and I've said this exact thing 😭
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
VALIDATIONNNNNN we all need to get together and make a group chat honestly 😭❤️
- Username
- thebeginning thebeginning
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@aurokoi There is one if you're on instagram!! Just message hocdawareness and she'll add you or I can if you're comfortable leaving your account name! The admin also struggled with hocd. It's so nice to talk to people who relate.
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@thebeginning OH WOW omg okay. I might have to look into that. Thank you so much!
- Username
- LizzyFLizzyF
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Team single! I like being single but at the same time dont want to be ALL alone. I’ve never been on a date. I’m 25. I also think no one would love me so . .
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Omg girl I feel you!!!! When I was at my highest last year I really embraced the idea of just remaining single. It doesn’t seem too bad to me, and I genuinely appreciate my platonic connections so much. Like you, I don’t want to be alone alone forever, but I don’t think I’d lack if I didn’t have a romantic partner. Also, idk you but I promise you, you are 100% loveable :)
- Username
- hanajadehanajade
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am not dating anyone. I want to be single for the rest of my life due to my ocd.
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Honestly same 😭 before I was like pretty okay with the idea of being single long term bc I have so much I want to do with my life that I didn’t see how a relationship could fit in with it all but see that was a nice day dream bc I chose it and now it feels like I have no say in it 😭
- Username
- hanajadehanajade
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@aurokoi I don’t feel an attraction to men in real life and I’m scared that they will think my rituals are weird or they might not love me because of my ocd.
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@hanajade A lot of it is just being open and honest with your partner, and as much as it sucks there’s an element of explanation and teaching that goes into it because OCD is so misunderstood, but I think people - even men - are a lot more accepting than we give them credit for. Recovery in part is learning that all parts of you, even the OCD one, deserves to be loved :) I believe in you! Be kind to yourself, and stay committed to recovery, no matter what people think or how long it takes.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah I’ve never had a legit girlfriend just talked to girls and it never worked out. I’ve always wanted to fall in love with a girl but my ocd has made that feel impossible. But yeah the sexual orientation ocd uses that against me all the time. Especially with covid now it’s impossible to meet people. I’m 24 btw
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Suuuuper relatable omg. I’m 20, and I’ve been hit on before but the guys were always kinda crass about it and it made me feel gross and whew does my ocd have a feast off that 😭 I believe in us though.
- Username
- avaaaavaaa
- Date posted
- 4y ago
17 but totally relate
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It sucks major butt!! I believe in us though >:( I refuse to let ocd be the reason I am single lol
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Fam you’re all SO VALID LIKE SERIOUSLY there’s already so much emphasis on people meeting certain milestones by certain ages that would make even a normal person feel bad (even though there’s absolutely nothing to feel bad about) but with OCD it’s like another layer of hell and insecurity 😭 we got this though!
- Username
- henry.omarhenry.omar
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Absolutely. I actually struggled with this way before I was even diagnosed, so it hit me especially hard. And as a guy being a Virgin is tied into your masculinity so much, it hurt me that much more. I actually had chances to have sex before I finally did with my first girlfriend at 22, but I didn’t because I was so petrified of it all. But even when I finally had a girlfriend I was already an addict and using it to overcome my anxiety and my ocd. I’m 28 now and I’ll tell you, it’s hard. I’ve had a couple of serious relationships now and it’s hard to maintain them because your SOOCD ad ROCD takes a toll on both you and your partner. I just got diagnosed a year or so ago and I know things can be managed.
- Username
- missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m 19 and have never had a boyfriend, simply because the boys i liked never liked me back and the boys that liked me were a) few and far between and b) so gross. my ocd uses this as “proof” that i’m just not “meant” to be with a man and it’s terrifying
- Username
- BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Might be the only dude here, but I've always wanted a girlfriend ever since high school started but all that did was cause me to make mistakes that I wish I never made to begin with. Most things that have to do with romancing with someone and sexual activity makes me uncomfortable because of the mistakes that have came along the way because of it. Mistakes that I've made that would never repeat. I dunno, I'm kinda scared to date because I don't want to experience the hurt behind it. At the same time I feel like I'm missing out and honestly feeling a little jealous because people way younger than me have even found love. But, I try not to be jealous for too long and be happy with such young love. It's nice to see people exploring what they want the right way. I just wish it went the right way for me too I guess.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Nope I commented yesterday on this
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I wasn’t allowed to date at all growing up so when I got into uni I was looking forward to it, even though I was going thru some other things. I can’t even begin to explain how badly I wanted a bf. But my brain uses the fact that I’ve never dated, even secretly and going against my parents, that it’s proof that I was never attracted to them to begin with 😭😭
- Username
- stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ooh me too. And it sucks because now I’m in uni and I can’t get one at all so now it’s making me question things
- Username
- aurokoiaurokoi
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@stop. Sameee!! I’m in my third year. And it’s I’m dealing with both the insecurity of getting this far without ANYTHING, but add constantly questioning myself it doesn’t make me feel any bettr
Related posts
- Username
- tia776
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Is it normal to feel fear before starting your first relationship? There's this guy that I've become friends with, but the conversations that we have hint to something more. I can't help but think about what if he isn't the right one for me, or that it is nonesense to have a relationship right now because it will eventualy end and what's the point etc.
- Username
- trying2
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m so worried that I’ll never get married or be in a relationship because I’ve always pushed guys I was seeing away right before we’ve committed. Growing up this was always a constant thing, I’d like a guy, we’d have a good time together then I’d get scared, feel overwhelmed and trapped and start comparing him to what I “want” and if he met everything on my “checklist” and then push him away. I really liked these guys too and then I’d be so mean to them just because I wanted them out of my life cause I was just so overwhelmed and trapped. I didn’t even know ROCD was a thing, I thought I was just picky and then I thought I couldn’t receive love and then I thought I was aromantic and then asexual, but it wasn’t true because I did like being sexual with guys I really liked and I do like affection. It makes sense that this is ROCD because I’ve always had ocd tendencies and control issues. Does anybody else with ROCD just very hesitant about even getting in a relationship because they fear they’re stuck with someone forever and then start nit picking and then get turned off and then start to question everything??? I once talked to a guy who used the wrong “youre” and got scared and almost stopped talking to him fully. And the only relief when I feel overwhelmed is just being alone like I love being alone but I’m so sad because I want a boyfriend but feel I’m just not capable of loving and being loved. I guess now that I have a name to it I can work on it.
- Username
- Lina
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Anyone struggling with hocd going through this: growing up (18 now) I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I'm super awkward with that type of stuff for some reason and just don't know why. So any opportunity of having a serious boyfriend I was always uncomfortable and said no. That also had to do with me not liking my body and thinking that a guy would find it super ugly and unlovable. So with that being said I'm afraid I'm a lesbian or bi and like I don't find boys attractive anymore. I'm scared cause I want to be with a guy but I'm afraid I'll never find a guy I want to be with and find out in the long run I'm a lesbian or something. I don't want to be with girls but ocd is kicking me in my ass. Telling me that only girls are attractive, picking apart anything I find attractive on a guy and it makes me sad. Also sorry for the tmi but I'm afraid I won't find a penis attractive and that's that and I'm lesbian. I know I have to accept the unknown but I'm truly terrified cause of my past that it is set that I'm bi or lesbian and just was too stupid to know it.
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