- Username
- BeeB
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Extreme anxiety over owning too many items Wanting to get rid of everything I own Fear that I can’t relax until I own less Items are usually categorized as contaminated, wrong brand, color, etc. irregular in my mind Wanting to own a “perfect” amount of items Extreme anxiety when I’m gifted something in fear that it’s wrong Shame, anxiety, panic around owning items that are linked to the global eco crisis
I love throwing things away because it gives me a temporary sense of extreme relief (from anxiety) . The idea of abandoning all my possessions is a relieving thought. But when I get rid of everything, my house feels like an empty shell. People can't believe I've lived in my house for 6 years. Because the empty shelves. I declutter for anxiety relief. My mom loves it when I come over and help her with her closets. So I'm glad I can hello someone else, but I'm still ashamed of my own home and lifestyle. I don't want to be controlled by my anxiety. But I don't know what my anxiety is exactly about. Possessions feel heavy to me, restricting, I am afraid of a lack of freedom. Of being burdened by things that don't actually have any use or meaning in my life. I'm clearing out apps on my phone, keeping my email inbox empty at all times, deleting contacts on my phone I haven't talked to in years or I have any negative unresolved feelings about! Deleting friends from Facebook, deleting my entire Facebook account, moving, making commitments when my energy says yes, then when I feel any NO or stress, I cancel or break the commitment. This affects so many areas in my life. Anyway, spartanism is one of them for me, just not with only my possessions. Relationships, commitments, etc People in my life know if they gift something to me, I'm likely not to keep it...
wow so so unreal to think that I was the only person that’s felt like this! So how have you learned to deal with this? Do you have any specific methods? Does it feel all consuming sometimes that you can’t even imagine even doing anything until you get rid of things? Like I avoid absolutely everything until I can get rid of all the items I feel necessary. Always temporary relief but
You're definitely not the only one, as I've read about other people online. I searched "the opposite of hoarding" and found lots of examples. My anxiety and compulsions come in waves. I can be pretty fine for like a month and then have what I'd call a meltdown. My thoughts spiraling down about things in my life, wanting to move, being isolated, financially dependant on my mom, not feeling any meaning our purpose in my life, etc etc, feeling trapped and powerless. So I think throwing things away is one way of relieving that feeling, something I have control over. And while it feels good in the moment, I don't think it really helps anything. I just created an exposure technique for myself, to put something in my room that would bug me.... When I don't use stuff, it bothers me to see it out.... I do still every day constantly see my possessions with distaste and tighten into anxiety, but not so much that I can't just walk by it. I go through phases of letting things pile up because I can't deal with the stress of everything around me, and then purge big time all at once. But yes, no matter how much I get rid of, I have realized I can't get rid of myself, and this physical reality. And that's what I have the problem with. I even think about getting rid of my cats and giving my kid to my mom. I doubt I woulc, but I feel anxiety about it, and feel trapped by the responsibility. And also have a huge fear that if I get rid of everything and just travel around like a gypsy or something, that I will still feel the same, that I will never be happy, and my anxiety will follow me wherever I go. I'm not really thinking I have any methods so far that are helping me, I just started this app and just started the exposure idea, so we will see how that helps, to intentionally sit with the discomfort for a specific time. And my plan is rye next time I have a major meltdown, to restrict myself, and stop myself from throwing everything away. And just wait it out. Tell myself I can still throw it away when I'm feeling more calm, if I still want to do it, then.
I haven't ever heard of this but honestly, it kinda sounds like me sometimes.... ?
I sort of get this, but more tied into an existential theme. For example, I’ve had thoughts like, all possessions are pointless, etc.
Does anyone suffer from Schiz OCD. Where you obsess about possibly being schizo
Is anyone experiencing existential OCD as well?
Hey. I’m not a therapist or anything, but I love helping people. I was diagnosed with OCD about 10 years ago and I have been through many therapists and exposures since. I’d like to think that I know a lot about treating OCD and that my knowledge or experiences could help other people. Please comment below if you need any advice. I have lots of experience with HOCD and compulsions in general. I know that OCD can be hard because I have it, but it’s made me a stronger person and it’s taught me a lot that I’d love to share.
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