feethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Anon4Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It took me about a month to reach out for help and get diagnosed lol. That was when I was 12 years old. I was like nah this is not working for me and I immediately wanted help, so i went back to an old talk therapist I’d had a few years prior. Fortunately, she was able to diagnose me correctly, but it was not the right treatment. We did regular talk therapy and then eventually when the ocd got worse I went on medication. Luckily, this allowed me to function for several years even though I was still doing mental compulsions unknowingly. I again reached out for help when I was around 17 or 18, but I was convinced medication was the sole answer and I just needed some more talk therapy, so when the ocd specialist tried to do erp with me I was like absolutely not cause I didn’t understand the process and I was functioning enough to think I could go without. Fast forward about 7-8 years and I finally reached out for erp help earlier this month, because a new theme came into the picture and I was beyond unprepared. This is a very long way to say it took me about 13 years to start erp treatment.
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
hm, i started seriously struggling with this ocd thing a month ago, and i am currently considering getting professional help but im stuck in a loop of doubt and i don't know if it's worth it or not since i could be just making this up or something and i don't wanna waste any professional's time... thank you for sharing your story and i hope that you'll start healing soon!
Anon4Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@feethebee Definitely get professional help, cause trust me, it’s worth it. I hope you feel better soon too!
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@MegB thank you for insight i really appreciate it and i hope you feel better soon! it's just that every time i feel "good" (meaning every time im distracted by doing something i like) i say to myself, "i am doing well right now, i can't think of something negative, so i must be alright. if i had ocd i would feel distressed, wouldn't i? maybe my intrusive thoughts aren't that important to me anymore and my brain is just playing tricks on me sometimes, nothing serious. it'll go away". this usually if not always ends up being false since the next day i probably go through a mildly depressive episode or just feel extreme mental discomfort when im exposed to triggers, when i try to avoid ruminating, or when a new intrusive thought comes up when im just staring at the ceiling doing nothing. it's like im always changing my mind and doubting myself. sorry if this was lengthy i just wanted to get it out of system
Anon4Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@feethebee That’s okay. Yeah, I would definitely reach out for help!
Hopefloats227Hopefloats227
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I realize now I have had OCD for a very long time ( 15+ years?) but it wasn’t until the themes became taboo that i ever suspected something was wrong. It took me 2 1/2 years before I sought true help with ERP. If you suspect you have OCD, don’t wait. It can get absolutely debilitating. And themes can switch too unfortunately. It’s usually the taboo themes (harm, violence, sexual, HOCD) that cause people to finally reach out in my opinion.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 4y ago
why is that odd?
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
hm, maybe 'odd' wasn't the right word, 'unfortunate' fits better i think. i believe that, you know, having to struggle with intrusive thoughts and other ocd symptoms for months or years on end without knowing what is going on in your mind can have a detrimental effect on someone's well-being and that it is sad how so many people live in darkness because of this. sorry for causing any misunderstandings
Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@feethebee I had no idea I had OCD. I always thought OCD meant being neat and clean.. you know the typical stereotype that I’ve learned to dislike lol I always thought I just had a guilty conscience and that I was a monster but kept it from everyone until one day I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get therapy. My first therapist diagnosed me with OCD and that’s when I became informed on OCD. I think I developed it in my late teens and I was diagnosed at 26
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Staying Alive oh i see, i hope you're doing better now. thank you for sharing your story!
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you for sharing your story! i honestly don't know how to feel about the fact that the onset of my ocd was being bombarded by taboo themed intrusive thoughts, mostly sexual. so much stigma
Related posts
hopelytle
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Question for those who have been in therapy
I am wanting to go to therapy to hopefully lower my OCD symptoms but I am terrified to tell anyone else, like a therapist, about my intrusive thoughts. Has anyone else had this experience and if so how did you get over it?
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Late onset OCD
Anyone else develop it in their 30s? I’m 33 and just started showing symptoms in October 2024. So far have only been diagnosed with GAD , PD and depression.I started having intrusive thoughts after a series of panic attacks . My compulsions would be googling. I have made an effort to stop though because it only makes me feel worse. My intrusive thoughts have been around fear of going crazy
Andrea Wells
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
My OCD Journey
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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